Survivalist Tip: Buy a compass. According to some predictions, the Earth’s magnetic fields will make a gigantic somersault on December 21st – which means North will become South, up will become down, gift cards will convert to cash, etc. A compass, therefore, will help you keep things straightened out. If you’re a homosexual, don’t get offended; it’s just a figure of speech. If you’re bisexual, I guess you’re only half-way offended, but I still don’t care. If you don’t know what you are, just drink some wine and buy a damn compass anyway! You’re running out of time, bitch!
Chief Writing Wolf 