in Texas, as well as in other predominantly conservative regions of the United
States, the term “liberal” is equal to demonic.
Personally, I consider myself a political and social moderate – which,
to most conservatives – still means liberal.
Anything to the slightest left of the small-minded rhetoric of
right-wing, Judeo-Christian ideology is blasphemously liberal. But, as you surely know by now, I deplore
being placed in boxes to suit other people’s needs and desires. Those who have dared to always end up with a
rectal thermometer-style rebuke from me.
Their rules don’t apply to me.
for the past 30 years, liberals have allowed themselves to be defined by the
opposition. They’ve hidden their true
sentiments about politics and social order within the lockboxes of their
minds. Outspoken liberals have been
relegated to the coastal U.S. and urban America. Thus, they are viewed as elitists and
globalists; cretins who dismiss the notion of “American exceptionalism”
(whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean).
truth, liberal means educated and open-minded; compassionate and
understanding. I’m steadfast in my own
outlook and opinions. Overall, I’m just
left of the center, which – again – means extremist, bleeding-heart,
bed-wetting liberal to the right-wingers.
They can call me whatever name they wish, if it makes them feel
empowered in their MINI Cooper of a mind.
I’ve endured worst name-calling grade school.
if being liberal means…
I believe true freedom begins
with free speech and the right to vote and not with a gun.
I believe the United States was
founded on religious freedom and separation of church and state and not
I don’t believe White males have
all the answers.
Europe is not the foundation of
I read more than the Christian
Bible and a TV guide.
Men and women possess different
attributes, but are still equal
The human race is really the only
race on Earth.
There is life beyond this planet.
Industrial enterprises don’t have
the right to profitably pollute the environment.
Queer people aren’t diabolically
you can call me a liberal. I call myself
a human being with my own thoughts and opinions. And I don’t have to run any of these by other
folks, just to get their approval.
As competition for the never-ending Darwin Awards heats up, we have a new entrant from Canada. An unidentified 62-year-old woman apparently decided to try the new trend of “vaginal steaming”; whereupon the participant sits over a steaming-hot bowl of water mixed with herbs to provide intense thermal pelvic cleaning for the female of our species. I can only assume this new-age ritual is meant to expunge the feminine soul of various and sundry evils: bacteria, unhealthy enzymes and memories of yoga gone wrong. But gynecologists warn that “v-steaming” – their term, not mine – is not necessarily healthy and actually is potentially dangerous.
Moreover, the victim in this case ended up at a local emergency room with second-degree burns to her cervix and vaginal membranes, according to a report from the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Calgary. No word on if she drove herself there, or had to be airlifted. The report also indicates this is the first documented incident of burns incurred by v-steaming.
And you, dear readers, thought only men did stupid shit to
their nether regions! Either way, this gives
new meaning to the term “burning bush”.
The one curious thing about friendships is that you never know where they’re going to go. Really good friends will understand and maybe even empathize with your mood swings. Of course, that term – “really good” – is always subjective.
Several years ago I got into a heated argument with a so-called friend. I can’t remember what it was about, but I so mad I wanted to rip his ears off and stick them up his ass, just so he could hear me beat the shit out of him!
Curators at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, Georgia have developed a new app called “Heartmatch” where visitors can learn what historical painting best represents them. I thought, what the hell; it looks like good fun. So, I tried it and got this:
Now I know why I didn’t get my first computer until May of 2000 and my first cell phone until October of 2001. BECAUSE ME AND TECHNOLOGY NEVER HAVE BEEN SYMBIOTIC!
I guess I’ll just resort to finding my “heart
match” the old-fashioned way: bars, truck stops and porn videos.
“What if we went back through all the family trees and just pulled those people out that were products of rape and incest? Would there be any population of the world left if we did that? Considering all the wars and all the rapes and pillages taken place and whatever happened to culture after society? I know I can’t certify that I’m not a part of a product of that.”
Another candidate for the Darwin Awards has surfaced in Berlin. Danny Polaris thought he’d make a recent night out one he wouldn’t forget. So took a Viagra and, after an evening of partying, went home with a nurse he met out at some club (I suspect). There, his new “friend” decided to up the excitement and inject Danny’s penis with some kind of still-unknown “stimulant”. Polaris says he felt fine – until a few days later when he realized he’d developed a painful condition called priapism. This is one of the unspoken medical anomalies that urologists and the Roman Catholic Church have warned men about for years.
As of August 11, Polaris is still in the hospital, still applying ice packs to his genitalia, reading the Bible, listening to tapes of old women talking about the “not so fresh feeling” and avoiding the Cartoon Network. No relief appears in sight. He seems to have no shame in going public with his ordeal and has even detailed his trauma on Instagram. Friends have also set up a page on the Go Fund Me network to help pay for his treatment and rehabilitation. I really don’t want to know what “rehabilitation” would mean in this case.
All I can say now is just don’t ask him what’s