Category Archives: Curiosities

Steamed

As competition for the never-ending Darwin Awards heats up, we have a new entrant from Canada.  An unidentified 62-year-old woman apparently decided to try the new trend of “vaginal steaming”; whereupon the participant sits over a steaming-hot bowl of water mixed with herbs to provide intense thermal pelvic cleaning for the female of our species.  I can only assume this new-age ritual is meant to expunge the feminine soul of various and sundry evils: bacteria, unhealthy enzymes and memories of yoga gone wrong.  But gynecologists warn that “v-steaming” – their term, not mine – is not necessarily healthy and actually is potentially dangerous.

“The vagina contains good bacteria, which are there to protect it,” says Dr. Vanessa Mackay, a spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in the United Kingdom.

Moreover, the victim in this case ended up at a local emergency room with second-degree burns to her cervix and vaginal membranes, according to a report from the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Calgary.  No word on if she drove herself there, or had to be airlifted.  The report also indicates this is the first documented incident of burns incurred by v-steaming.

And you, dear readers, thought only men did stupid shit to their nether regions!  Either way, this gives new meaning to the term “burning bush”.

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Stiff Competition

Another candidate for the Darwin Awards has surfaced in Berlin.  Danny Polaris thought he’d make a recent night out one he wouldn’t forget.  So took a Viagra and, after an evening of partying, went home with a nurse he met out at some club (I suspect).  There, his new “friend” decided to up the excitement and inject Danny’s penis with some kind of still-unknown “stimulant”.  Polaris says he felt fine – until a few days later when he realized he’d developed a painful condition called priapism.  This is one of the unspoken medical anomalies that urologists and the Roman Catholic Church have warned men about for years.

As of August 11, Polaris is still in the hospital, still applying ice packs to his genitalia, reading the Bible, listening to tapes of old women talking about the “not so fresh feeling” and avoiding the Cartoon Network.  No relief appears in sight.  He seems to have no shame in going public with his ordeal and has even detailed his trauma on Instagram.  Friends have also set up a page on the Go Fund Me network to help pay for his treatment and rehabilitation.  I really don’t want to know what “rehabilitation” would mean in this case.

All I can say now is just don’t ask him what’s up!

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Scoot Along Now!

I’ve lived in the Dallas, Texas metropolitan area all of my life and have seen more than a few oddities.  But, on the morning of July 22, a driver captures this fool locomoting down I-35E into downtown Dallas.  Sadly, it can mean only one thing: we have yet another Darwin Awards candidate.

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Did You Hear the One About the Spider in the Water?

“How did the giant tarantula get to the other side of the lake?”

“It swam!  How else is it supposed to get there?  Levitate?”

“Hey!  What’s that eight-legged monstrosity doing in the water?!”

“The front stroke, you dipshit!”

“Besides water, what do humans and spiders have in common?”

“Not a damn thing!”

“What do you say to a king-sized spider about to jump in the river?”

“Nothing, you moron!  You just get the hell out of there!”

“What did the titanic tarantula say to the trout before eating it?”

“How the hell should I know?!  I don’t get that close to spiders!  Or fish!”

Source.

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Bovine Bonanza

Years ago I drove by a pasture and noticed the herd of cattle was wearing – of all things – crucifixes! And all I could say was “Holy cow!”

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Better Not Cry! Better Just Shut the Hell Up!

Nothing says Christmas like evergreen trees, candy canes, strings of colorful lights, ginger bread-spiced Xanax and kids screaming in terror while perched on Santa’s lap.  The latter is particularly reminiscent of those times when you feel the yuletide holiday brings out the best in people.  As these photos indicate, that’s just not true.  Yes, it’s that glorious time of the year.  Merry Christmas, all you little fuckers!

 

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Um…About That Last One

Email experts advise checking your ‘Spam’ folder periodically, since some communications you actually want or need might accidentally drop into it.  I do that on a relatively regular basis, especially for my business email address, from where I solicit jobs for my freelance technical writing.

Going through that folder this past May revealed the curious “Certified Python Expert” communication highlighted in the above screen shot.  I kept thinking someone had confused me with a herpetologist.  Then I thought, no, they must believe I had worked in the gay male porn business.  If you think about it, there’s not much difference between the two.

However, a thorough search for “python” will produce information on a software program – something that isn’t necessarily related to reptiles or porn.  But the fact the sender addressed me as “Dear” made me wonder about their ultimate intentions.  If you had the same thoughts about snakes or porn, you’re either in serious need of mental help or you’re just plain perverted.

Either way, you’ve found the perfect blog for both!

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