Category Archives: Wolf Tales

Now Ear This!

The one curious thing about friendships is that you never know where they’re going to go.  Really good friends will understand and maybe even empathize with your mood swings.  Of course, that term – “really good” – is always subjective.

Several years ago I got into a heated argument with a so-called friend.  I can’t remember what it was about, but I so mad I wanted to rip his ears off and stick them up his ass, just so he could hear me beat the shit out of him!

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Screaming Match

Curators at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, Georgia have developed a new app called “Heartmatch” where visitors can learn what historical painting best represents them.  I thought, what the hell; it looks like good fun.  So, I tried it and got this:

Now I know why I didn’t get my first computer until May of 2000 and my first cell phone until October of 2001.  BECAUSE ME AND TECHNOLOGY NEVER HAVE BEEN SYMBIOTIC!

I guess I’ll just resort to finding my “heart match” the old-fashioned way: bars, truck stops and porn videos.

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We Are Lesion!

I had a doctor’s appointment the first of August to have some blood drawn for various tests, such as if I’m still alive and if the back pain I’ve been experiencing for more than 30 years is actually my parasitic twin wanting out of my ass.  I asked him about what I thought was a mole on my upper back.  Turns out it was a wart!  In fact, I had 2 of them!  I told him he could just snip them off and plaster a bandage over them, but he selected to freeze them off.  Either way, sometimes I love it, when it hurts!

I know my body and mind have been trying to break free and lead lives of their own.  And, like luggage and herpes, I’m just stuck with the fuckers forever.  But I was totally surprised this time.  Warts?!  Last time I had warts, at least dinner and drinks came first!

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Epochs of Our Lives

I saw news of that new “Aging App” that can show what you’ll look like in 20 years. So I thought, what the hell, and tried it out. It came back with this shit:

Fucking technology!

MiracleGro

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Oh, That Musky Scent!

Although I consider myself as American as apple pie, baseball and ravioli, I frequently watch foreign television networks; mainly as a matter of desire for knowledge of other cultures, but also in case I need to evade bill collector.  I was channel-surfing the other night and happened upon Univision where I saw a commercial a Mexican cologne for men – “Chorizo Splash.”

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Ooooh…Yes! Do It Like That!

As a writer, I’ve often fancied myself the most popular book in the library and love it when people thumb through my pages!

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Plucked

A different kind of finger-licking!

I recently learned something disturbing. My neighbors’ pet rooster gets off watching fried chicken commercials.  And I thought, “Wow!  Dark meat!”

Image by: Scheherazadenerai

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