The one curious thing about friendships is that you never know where they’re going to go. Really good friends will understand and maybe even empathize with your mood swings. Of course, that term – “really good” – is always subjective.
Several years ago I got into a heated argument with a so-called friend. I can’t remember what it was about, but I so mad I wanted to rip his ears off and stick them up his ass, just so he could hear me beat the shit out of him!
Curators at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, Georgia have developed a new app called “Heartmatch” where visitors can learn what historical painting best represents them. I thought, what the hell; it looks like good fun. So, I tried it and got this:
Now I know why I didn’t get my first computer until May of 2000 and my first cell phone until October of 2001. BECAUSE ME AND TECHNOLOGY NEVER HAVE BEEN SYMBIOTIC!
I guess I’ll just resort to finding my “heart
match” the old-fashioned way: bars, truck stops and porn videos.
I had a doctor’s appointment the first of August to have some blood drawn for various tests, such as if I’m still alive and if the back pain I’ve been experiencing for more than 30 years is actually my parasitic twin wanting out of my ass. I asked him about what I thought was a mole on my upper back. Turns out it was a wart! In fact, I had 2 of them! I told him he could just snip them off and plaster a bandage over them, but he selected to freeze them off. Either way, sometimes I love it, when it hurts!
I know my body
and mind have been trying to break free and lead lives of their own. And, like luggage and herpes, I’m just stuck with
the fuckers forever. But
I was totally surprised this time.
Warts?! Last time I had warts, at
least dinner and drinks came first!
Although I consider myself as American as apple pie, baseball and ravioli, I frequently watch foreign television networks; mainly as a matter of desire for knowledge of other cultures, but also in case I need to evade bill collector. I was channel-surfing the other night and happened upon Univision where I saw a commercial a Mexican cologne for men – “Chorizo Splash.”