Category Archives: Essays

Vote Smack

“I think we’ve just delivered the South to the Republican Party for a long time to come.”

President Lyndon Johnson, upon signing the 1964 Civil Rights Act

In a lifetime of observing human nature and studying political ideologies, one thing I’ve discovered the one thing that conservatives seem to hate more than interracial marriage is expanding voting rights.  From the founding of the United States, liberal ideology has struggled to grant the right to vote to as many people as possible.  After all it’s in the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and it’s one of the most sacred elements to any truly democratic society.

Since the 2008 election of Barack Obama, however, a number of states with Republican-majority legislatures have enacted statutes to impact voting rights.  In Shelby vs. Holder, for example, the U.S. Supreme Court targeted Section 2 of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, which specifically banned “standard, practice, or procedure” that “results in a denial or abridgement of the right of any citizen … to vote on account of race or color.”  Traditionally states in the Southeastern U.S. had prevented non-White citizens from exercising their right to vote.  The VRA eliminated the “grandfather” clause (if your grandfather could vote, then you can) and voter tolls (paying to vote), among other restrictions.  Not surprisingly many conservative White voters still fighting the U.S. Civil War were horrified at these changes.

The 2013 Shelby decision suspended the demand that states seek federal approval before changing their voting laws.  This was a gift to the ghosts of the Confederacy who continually rallied for “states’ rights”.  But it’s almost no coincidence that the first two decades of the 21st century have produced some of the most controversial and contentious presidential elections in U.S. history.

Several years ago then-Texas Governor Rick Perry said he wanted all law-abiding gun owners to have the right to carry their firearms to every part of the state.  I have to agree, but I also believe any law-abiding citizen should be able to vote in any precinct or district.  For example, as a registered voter in my home state of Texas, I should be able to travel to Rhode Island and vote in a presidential election.

Recently a political activist named EJ Carrion was arrested for “tumultuous behavior” at a County Commissioners’ meeting in Fort Worth.  He used foul language while discussing the possibility of the reduction of polling places in Tarrant County; the latest move by conservative politicians to hinder voting in the state of Texas.  Police arrested him, after he’d failed to use a turn signal upon entering the cul-de-sac where he lives.  The warrant had been issued because Carrion had uttered “bullshit” during the meeting.  The horror!

It’s obvious Texas Republicans and other right-wing extremists have never heard of Cohen v. California, the 1971 U.S. Supreme Court case that basically ruled foul language is covered by the First Amendment to the Constitution.  They always skip to the Second Amendment regarding firearms.  Texas residents are besieged every election year with TV ads by conservatives touting they’re “protectors of the Second Amendment”, complete with the requisite photos of them holding a gun.

Regardless, there’s a good chance Republicans will lose control of both Houses of Congress to Democrats after this November’s mid-term elections.  I can only hope.  But I’m much more concerned about the persistent threats to voting and free speech rights imposed by our current President and his minions in state and local offices.  Despots always hate (fear) the vocal power of the masses.  It’s the weakest point of their troubles personas.  I believe the American masses will exploit that this year.

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Patriotism and All That

As this Independence Day weekend comes to a close, I have to say I’m still proud to have been born and raised in this country.  Admittedly it’s been difficult to feel that way in recent years.  My paternal ancestry in Texas actually extends back to the 1580s, when a branch of the De La Garza clan joined other Spaniards established homes in the southern part of the state.  My Indian ancestors, of course, were in this same region millennia ago.

I remember America’s Bicentennial very clearly.  I was 12 and became swept up in the excitement of that summer’s festivities.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but the U.S. came together as no one expected.  The Watergate crisis had left our nation with an incredible distrust in our elected leaders, and we had slinked our way out of the Vietnam conflict the previous year.  Along with oil embargoes and energy crises from a few years later and the swine flu scare, it had become tough to feel pride in this country.

But all of that seemed to melt away with the summer heat, as America basked in its own glory.  Watching vintage ships off the east coast remains an especially poignant memory.  I can never forget that summer and how it made everyone feel.

I just don’t feel that same level of exuberance now.  I know I’ve become cynical – something that seems natural with age.  But in the half century since the Bicentennial a few things look familiar.  We have a Republican president; we’ve come out of some disastrous wars; we’ve had a severe economic downturn and a pandemic that made swine flu look like a brief head cold.

I often wonder how foreigners look at Americans, although I’m not too concerned with what others think.  Again – an effect of aging, albeit a positive one.

Despite such anxiety, I’m still glad to be here and be living in this country.  I just don’t want to give up on it and for what it stands.

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Lazarus Orwell

Lazarus – Hebrew, “God will help.”

“Name Your Baby”, Lareina Rule

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.”

Winston Smith in “1984”, George Orwell

In the 1994 midterm elections, the Republican Party achieved something they hadn’t in nearly four decades: they won the majority of seats in both houses of congress.  And they won big; a “Super Majority” that clearly showed an early rebuke of President Bill Clinton’s agenda.  Newt Gingrich, a veteran politician from Georgia, was elected House leader.  At the start of 1995, Connie Chung, then co-anchor of the CBS Evening News, interviewed Gingrich’s parents at their home.  Puffing on cigarettes and speaking barely above a stage whisper, Gingrich’s mother, Kathleen, noted her son didn’t particularly like Clinton or First Lady Hillary Clinton.  In fact, she said, he had an extreme disdain for Hillary and said he’d called her a “bitch”.

The national reaction was explosive.  Gingrich himself never confirmed whether or not he’d actually said that, but condemned for taking advantage of two people who weren’t “media savvy”.  How media savvy does someone need to be, replied Chung, to know they’re speaking with a nationally renowned journalist and have three cameras set up around them?

But Chung had unknowingly orchestrated her own demise.  CBS almost immediately terminated her.

In 2004, as then-President George W. Bush was in the midst of his reelection campaign, Dan Rather, another veteran journalist and anchor of the CBS Evening News (Chung’s former colleague), dived into Bush’s so-called military record.  After graduating from Harvard in 1968, Bush immediately joined the Texas National Guard.  The Vietnam War was raging, and young men were being drafted into military service.  Getting a position in a National Guard unit was highly coveted and difficult to obtain.  According to…well, himself…Bush completed his first stint in the Guard in 1972 and reenlisted, before moving to Alabama to assist in the presidential campaign of George Wallace.  He then joined the Alabama National Guard and supposedly got suspended for missing an annual physical exam.  But what happened after that is largely unknown.  Bush’s records mysteriously disappeared.

Dan Rather had gained fame in 1961, as he delivered live coverage of Hurricane Carla’s landfall in Texas.  He began anchoring the CBS Evening News in 1981.  The outrage over his questions into Bush’s military service was palpable.  The same political and social conservatives who screamed over Bill Clinton’s lack of military service were suddenly offended with Rather’s report.

At the start of 2005, CBS dismissed Rather.  For the second time in a decade, the news conglomerate had allowed themselves to be intimidated by a key political figure.

All of that nonsense came to light recently, as controversy fell atop Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show” on CBS.  A few months ago Colbert interviewed Texas politician James Talarico who is running for U.S. Senate.  However CBS didn’t broadcast the interview.  Apparently CBS hadn’t heard of this thing called the internet and something else called YouTube.  Its legal advisors claimed the interview was in violation of the Federal Communication Commission’s Fairness Doctrine – a creed that mandates broadcast networks devote equal time to views on national issues.  Generally the rule applied only to news programs; talk shows were exempt because they were considered entertainment venues.

Until now.

If either previous presidents Bill Clinton or Barack Obama got upset every time a public media figure mocked or even criticized them, they’d be incarcerated for life in mental health hospitals.  In contrast the administration of current President Donald Trump is obviously of fragile spirit.  Colbert has been a vocal critic of the president.

CBS canceled “The Late Show”, which had been broadcasting since 1993.  Last week was the final telecast.  They claimed low ratings, but I don’t believe that.  My followers know what a strong free speech advocate I am.  It’s not just the writer in me – it’s the human being in my soul; someone born and raised in a country that values the right to speak freely.

Politicians utilizing their power to coerce a media into compliance or silence is the essence of totalitarianism.  Other countries allow this to happen.  China or Russia sound familiar?

I’ve never been a fan of Colbert, but I’m still angry over his show’s cancellation.  It’s obvious what happened.  But what should we, as free people, do about it?  How much of this madness are we supposed to tolerate?

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Draft Well

Recently President Trump signed an Executive Order that will impact military readiness in the U.S.  Beginning in December 2026 all able-bodied males in the country will be automatically registered for Selective Service (the military draft) upon turning 18.  The late former President Jimmy Carter reinstituted the Selective Service system in 1980, requiring all males born in the U.S. since 1960 to register for the draft within 30 days of their 18th birthday.  A number of lawsuits against the system in the following decades have failed to reverse the policy.

The penalties for failing to register are severe:

  • Fines up to $250,000 and/or 5 years in prison.
  • Ineligible for federal jobs and many state, local, and municipal positions.
  • Ineligible for federal student financial aid (FAFSA), including Pell Grants and federal student loans.
  • Non-citizens can be denied citizenship (naturalization).
  • Roughly 40 states and Washington, D.C., deny driver’s licenses or renewal for non-registration.
  • Ineligible for training under the federal Workforce Innovation and Opportunity Act.

Yes…a $250,000 fine and up to 5 years in prison…for failing to register to serve (unwillingly) in the military of a nation that still maintains an incredibly unequal justice system and wealth structure.  (Understand that Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman each murdered someone and got away with it.)

Again, this system only applies to men. 

Now Trump wants to make it more difficult to evade compulsory military service.  Well…he should know.  Like his Republican predecessor, George W. Bush, he did just about everything he could to avoid compulsory military service more than a half century ago.

One of my best friends, Preston*, has two 20-something sons and voted for Trump during all three of his presidential runs.  As the 2024 elections approached, he expressed concern that a Kamala Harris presidency would result in military action in Ukraine; meaning Harris would enact the military draft, and his sons could be impacted.  I was concerned about that, too, but I was more concerned that Trump would get back into office and take military action against Iran; the same way Bush invaded Iraq under the false pretense of protecting the world from an Iraqi-based nuclear war.

I was right.

Trump got into office and – under the guise of safeguarding the globe against an Iranian-inspired nuclear Armageddon, as well as defending Israel – attacked the Middle Eastern county.  Now, Preston is even more worried.

So am I.

In August of 1990, Iraq unexpectedly invaded Kuwait.  Fearful they were the next targets, the Saudi royal family fled their palaces and asked the U.S. for help.  As that year came to an end, then-President George H.W. Bush sent troops into the Saudi desert.  Ultimately Iraqi forces surrendered without much of a fight, but about 300 U.S. service personnel died in battle.  Shortly before the conflict erupted, Saudi leadership – still safely ensconced abroad – demanded that our people in uniform remove emblems of the U.S. flag from their attire.  They somehow found it offensive.  Bush bowed to the Saudi sheiks and ordered the removals.

Pull our boys out, was the first response from most U.S. citizens, including me.  It was an outrage.  If it hadn’t been for American demand for oil, the Saudis would still be living in ornate tents in the desert, picking sand fleas out of their ass.  The Bush family’s loyalty to the Saudi regime became apparent in the immediate aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, when the Bush Administration allowed several Saudi nationals to leave the U.S., while other travelers remained trapped at airports and hotels.

Shortly before the Persian Gulf War began, I visited my local gym and heard one young man ask another, “Ready to go?” in reference to the conflict.

I was 27 then and thought it was a real possibility knowing our political leaders’ penchant for war.  My father – who had been drafted into the U.S. Army and sent to Korea nearly four decades earlier – was also concerned.  He became especially incensed when the Saudi royal family demanded U.S. military personnel remove the American flag emblems from their uniforms; cursing the clan in both English and Spanish.

Throughout Bill Clinton’s presidency, his right-wing adversaries condemned his lack of military experience; labeling him with that dreaded “draft-dodger” moniker.  From 1968 to 1970, he was a Rhodes Scholar at the University of Oxford where he openly protested the Vietnam War.  But a large number of American expatriates did.  When he returned to his native Arkansas, he placed his name back into the draft lottery (to maintain his “political viability”) and drew a high enough number not to be sent into the conflict.

As the 2000 presidential election arose, conservatives were eager to prop up only one man: then-Texas Governor George W. Bush.  The eldest son of the nation’s 41st President, George H.W. Bush, the younger Bush graduated from Harvard in 1968 – and found himself eligible for military conscription.  He immediately managed to secure a position in the Texas Air National Guard (at a time when such spots were sparse and difficult to obtain).  After his initial four year stint was over, he reenlisted and then somehow was able to switch to the Alabama National Guard; in part, he later said, to work on the presidential campaign of George Wallace.  That second hitch should have been completed in 1976.  But no real record exists of Bush completing his service.  And then – as things tend to occur – misfortune arrived and Bush’s military records mysteriously disintegrated in a warehouse fire.

Bush’s Vice President, Dick Cheney, also came under scrutiny for his lack of military service.  During the 2000 campaign, Cheney declared he had “other priorities” during the Vietnam fiasco; receiving a number of draft deferments – mostly educational and one because he was a new father.

The same band of right-wingers who excoriated Clinton for his lack of military service weren’t so quick to demand a full accounting from either Bush or Cheney.  Also, in 2000, then Sen. John McCain sought the GOP nomination.  Coming from a long line of U.S. Navy officers, McCain served in Vietnam and was a pilot shot down over Hanoi in 1968, captured by enemy forces and held hostage for five years.  But the Bush political machine had the audacity to question not only McCain’s military service (which was there for all to see) but also his patriotism.  The same flag and country crowd who had demonized Clinton suddenly had no qualms belittling a real American military hero.

Now we come to Trump.  Donald “bone spurs” Trump.

No one has a desire to do something unpleasant – like pay taxes or wait in line at the grocery store.  And certainly nobody wants to go to war.  War is not just ugly; it’s stupid and pointless.

One Saturday evening in the late 1970s, my parents hosted a few friends over for a casual gathering.  Among them was a longtime male friend who brought along a young woman we hadn’t met before.  She seemed pleasant enough.  At some point, during a discussion, the subject of the Vietnam War came up.  The U.S. had just fled Vietnam in an ignominious defeat a few years earlier.  All of the men in the group had served in the U.S. military.  A few of them, including my father, had been drafted.  The aforementioned young woman mentioned that a young man she had been dating about a decade earlier had failed to heed his conscription notice and – apparently feeling intensely patriotic – reported him to some authority.  She said he got drafted anyway.

I remember the brief quiet that settled over our cavernous den.

“Wow,” my father finally muttered.  “How brave of you.”

And the conversation ended.

Don’t ask someone to do something you’re not at least willing to try – which is one reason why men have no business demanding women get pregnant.

I’m genuinely worried about Preston’s sons, as well as for any other young man who may get swept up into this conflict-laden world.  But I’m concerned for the greater population.  Despite all the patriotic bravado, the 2003 Iraq War really was about gaining access to the region’s oil.

I see the same outcome with Iran.

*Name changed

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Chavez Chaos

A statue of United Farm Workers union co-founder Cesar Chavez stands at Cesar Chavez Park at a Cesar Chavez Commemorative in Phoenix, Arizona. Photo by Erica Stapleton

People of Spanish ancestry have a long history here in the United States.  Spaniards made the first permanent European settlement in what would become the U.S. and had reached the Pacific coast before the arrival of their English and French counterparts.  Unlike the English and French, however, Spanish colonizers generally didn’t view the indigenous peoples of the Americas as obtuse savages. 

Despite this extensive heritage, Hispanics have often been left out of American history and – as a result – we’ve had few heroic figures in mainstream literature and news.  One noteworthy individual, however, is the late César Chavez.

Born in Arizona in 1927, Chavez joined his parents and other family members in one of the most strenuous of jobs: crop-picking.  It’s an industry that’s inherently fickle and strenuous.  It can also be unforgiving, especially during Chavez’s youth.  His family moved frequently, barely surviving each year, and eventually settled in California.  After a brief stint in the U.S. Navy, Chavez returned home and to the fields of various crops…where things hadn’t changed much.  Sometime in the late 1950s Chavez’s frustration with the farming business metamorphosed into political action and, in 1960, he led a gallery of farmworkers in creating the National Farm Worker Association, which sought to improve working conditions for people who toiled in farming.  They demanded higher pay and better working conditions.  Most farmworkers were non-White, but regardless of race or ethnicity, all worked hard to feed American families, as they struggled to care for their own.

After his death in 1993, a number of communities across the Southeastern U.S. named, or renamed, schools and streets after Chavez.  It was homage to a common man who understood the struggles of average working people – even if others didn’t understand or appreciate it.

One night around 1996, I was driving through East Dallas with a friend, when we passed an elementary school recently with Chavez’s name broadly displayed across the front.

“What do they teach there?!” my friend exclaimed, before adding something about picking fruits and vegetables.

In the midst of a busy urban thoroughfare, I literally slammed on the brakes of my truck and yelled back, “What the fuck that’s supposed to mean?!”

My friend is a little more than a decade older than me and was born and raised in what he and his sister called “LA” – Lower Alabama.  He’s a true southerner who likes boiled peanuts and fried green tomatoes – two foods I’ve purposefully avoided.  He’s also somewhat of a Confederate loyalist and would get annoyed when I said the Confederate Army were traitors to the United States.

“Now, you’re making fun of my heritage,” he once told me.

So I guess – with the Chavez vegetable quip – we were even.

One of the people who helped Chavez organize his movement was Dolores Huerta.  A New México native, Huerta, like Chavez, had worked in the farming trade and personally witnessed the mistreatment of its workers.

Now – more than three decades after the death of Chavez – Huerta has turned against him.  In a recent stunning admission, Huerta claims Chavez raped her twice in the 1960s; impregnating her both times.  She carried each pregnancy to term and gave up the babies to other families.  She says she didn’t come forward years earlier for a number of personal reasons; in part because no one openly discussed sexual assault at the time of the alleged offenses, but also because she didn’t want to undermine the mission of the farmworkers coalition.  At the age of 95, Huerta really has nothing to lose.

Who’s going to call her a liar?

Now everything Chavez did has come under scrutiny.  Almost overnight he has become the Bill Cosby of the Hispanic community – a man revered for decades as a leader and humanitarian whose reputation has come into question.  The primary difference, of course, is that Chavez wasn’t an actor or a comedian and he’s now dead.

Last Tuesday, March 31, would have been Chavez’s 99th birthday.  Communities across the Southwestern U.S. have been celebrating it as a venerable holiday.  Many Hispanics have been demanding an official federal holiday (akin to Martin Luther King) be established to honor Chavez.

Recently Texas Governor Greg Abbott ordered the state NOT to recognize Chavez on March 31.  It’s interesting – hypocritical actually – considering that Abbott and other Republican officials were reticent to disavow allegiance to Confederate soldiers – a group that wanted to divide the nation over the issue of slavery.  Many conservatives argued vehemently against removing monuments to the Civil War Confederacy, but are now quick to obliterate anything honoring Chavez.

More than a quarter of the way into the 21st century, we’re still dealing with this shit.

So what to do now?

I’m publishing this essay on April 4, 2026 – the 58th anniversary of the assassination of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  King had always asked people to be judged on the “content of their character”.  That’s not just a bit of poetic verbiage.  It’s actually a sensible practice.

Yet, how much character can overcome egregious behavior?  Behavior that occurred years ago.

I simply don’t know.  The chaos surrounding Chavez’s legacy has been set in motion and won’t die down anytime soon.

As always we have to keep moving forward.

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Gladiating

Jacqueline Susann’s 1973 novel “Once Is Not Enough” is filled with enough drama, heartbreak, romance, intrigue and sexual indiscretions to send any family into therapy for decades.  The central character, January Wayne, returns home to New York City after being hospitalized in Switzerland for nearly three years.  That part alone rivals the best (or worst) any Mexican telenovela can deliver.  In many ways the world she left three years earlier hasn’t changed, but in most others, it’s radically different.  As is befitting a Susann story, January encounters a plethora of strange figures: one of the world’s richest women; a vile magazine editor; a hyper-masculine novelist; and a physician with salaciously ulterior motives, among other cretins.  Almost sounds like one of my old family gatherings!

To some extent “Once Is Not Enough” is a commentary on the myriad social upheavals in the U.S. at the time of its publication.  Right now, though, I wonder if many Americans have been suffering from subtle amnesia – or are just innately sadistic.

A generation ago we had a president who launched an unexpected war upon a Middle East nation that – along with a slew of heavy tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens – culminated in the worst economic downturn in almost a century.  George W. Bush used the horrors of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks to justify an invasion of Iraq less than two years later.  To date that fiasco has cost the U.S. an estimated USD 6 trillion.  That’s just in hard U.S. dollars.  But the cost in mental and physical health is immeasurable.

Now we’re at it again.  The Trump Administration has attacked Iran – one of the U.S.’s most loathsome enemies.  Until 1979, we had a cordial diplomatic relationship with Iranian leadership, including the late Mohammad Reza Pahlavi.  He had risen to prominence in the immediate aftermath of World War II and guided Iran into something of a progressive new era.

But Pahlavi had also instituted a repressive dictatorship and exhibited an extravagant lifestyle for him, his family and others in the small elite class.  His ardent efforts to Westernize and secularize Iran, along with depending strongly on the United States, alienated his own people and culminated in a student uprising that forced him and his family into exile.  The same uprising ambushed the U.S. embassy in Tehran in November 1979 that led to holding several Americans hostage for over a year.

It was our first battle with radical Islam and it caught the U.S. completely off-guard.  At the time the “Cold War” was still raging, and the Soviet Union remained the most serious foreign threat.  Iran wasn’t on the radar of diplomatic instability.

Recently the Trump Administration invaded Venezuela to capture its president, Nicolás Maduro, who the world has denounced as an illegitimate leader.  A global coalition of democratic states claims Maduro ascended to the Venezuelan presidency in January 2019 after a rigged election.  Somehow, the 2000 and 2016 presidential elections in the U.S. come to mind whenever I hear the term “rigged election”.

Now Trump has set his sights on two more foes: Cuba and Colombia.  Cuba has been on the American shit-list for over 60 years, and Colombia has a long history of political assassinations and drug trafficking.  Bush had used the excuse of nuclear weaponry to invade Iraq, and even critics later admitted the country was better off without its brutal leader, Saddam Hussein.  The world would be better off without many autocrats – including Trump.

But is it the duty of the U.S. to remove every such character?

We all know the adage that, when old men go to war, young men die.  Right now, though, it seems when the billionaire class goes to war, the middle and lower classes die.

And here we are again.  Once may not be enough in regards to love, sex and a good back rub.  But one war is always one too many.

My first edition copy of “Once Is Not Enough”

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For Schnauzer Lovers Only?

This is a recent post from fellow blogger and dog lover Amanda who, like me, has a passion for life, good food and animals.  Anyone who’s followed me knows I have an intense love of dogs.  It’ll be ten years this October since I lost my last dog, Wolfgang, a miniature schnauzer – who I actually believe was a miniature wolf!  Life is always better with animals. Thank you, Amanda!

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Back Strokes

“The normal cycle in the life and death of great nations has been first a powerful tyranny broken by revolt, the enjoyment of liberty, the abuse of liberty – and back to tyranny again. As I see it, in this country – a land of the most persistent idealism and the blandest cynicism – the race is on between its decadence and its vitality.”

Alistair Cooke

Now that 2025 has ended, we must realize that we’re officially more than a quarter of the way into the 21st century.  And, in the United States, we have a totalitarian despot as our President.  I never would have thought we’d be in this position – the self-proclaimed “Beacon of Democracy” has a self-righteous moron as its leader.

Reminder: we’re in the 21st century – C.E.!

Last November marked the 50th anniversary of the death of Francisco Franco, who came to power during Spain’s Civil War and ruled for more than three decades.  Western Europe’s last true dictator, Franco persecuted his political opponents, suppressed certain cultural aspects, manipulated the media, and just generally wielded absolute control over the country.  His death brought democratic relief to Spain.

It’s a familiar pattern that’s occurred across the globe and throughout human history.  Certain individuals promise – and initially bring – freedom to the people and then mutate into a brutal autocrat.  The masses get sucked into the chasm of false promises and righteous dreams…then are horrified when the truth comes out.

Sometimes it appears humanity will never learn.  I feel that way now about the United States.  In 2000 we all stood on the precipice of a new century and a new millennium.  The future was ours.  Then, here in the U.S., we regressed and inadvertently chose a leader who turned out to be ill-equipped for the role of “Leader of the Free World”.  And the first decade of the 21st century – C.E. – became lost to war and the morass of class divisions.  We should have been preparing to build a colony on the moon and sending humans to Mars.  Instead Americans were trying to figure out whether to pay for utilities or buy groceries.

And we’ve reached that point again.

In June of 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the right to abortion in this country.  It accompanied ongoing attacks on our literary culture, as book bans rampaged across the land.  Looking at all of it, I wondered how and why we were moving backwards.  Societies, in general theory, are supposed to move forward – much like time.  Conservatism may sound like a grand ideology, but it can be detrimental.

In November of 1979, I was a high school student and in San Antonio, Texas for a speech and drama contest, when we heard news that a band of rebels had stormed the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran.  Some of my fellow students had no idea where Iran was, much less why it had become a target for protesters.  But we’d soon learn exactly why.  From then until January of 1981, a number of Americans were held hostage in Tehran as retribution for the U.S. support of their former national leader, Reza Shah Pahlavi.  Pahlavi had been forced from power earlier in 1979 by a populace who had grown weary of his tortuous rule.  Now Iran is in the grips of social unrest once more, and ironically, Pahlavi’s son is seeking to return to his homeland and lead his people into a new universe.

Again, the world has seen this happen before: Russia, China, France…the list is almost endless.  The citizenry gets tired of how their universe is functioning and decides to take action.  The result is often violent.

This year, 2026, officially marks the semiquincentennial of the United States – our 250th anniversary of existence.  I was twelve years old in the summer of 1976, when we marked our bicentennial, and I felt an extraordinary sense of pride and excitement.  The nation was still recovering from the brutal cultural upheaval of the 1960s, but at that moment, we all seemed to bond and become – as our founders intended – a truly united people.  I’m certain I’ll never live to see our tricenntenial, but it’s a pleasant dream.

It’s even more inspirational to know our nation will move beyond the likes of our current leaders who have no real sense of a future.  We’ll never be a utopia.  No community can ever achieve that.

Denounce me as naïve, if you want – I’ve often called myself cynical at this point in my life.  but I still hope for the best.

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How Are You Still Alive?

I asked myself that question a few months ago, as I looked at my reflection in a bathroom mirror.  It was almost a random inquiry; a sudden revelation after years of suffering with depression and alcoholism.  I’ve contemplated suicide more times than I can recount and have actually come very close to ending my own life on a few occasions.

How is it that I’m still here?

Recently I conversed with a younger friend who had turned 40 last year and is at a tough point in his life.  He had spent nearly a decade in education before joining an alleged friend to start a business.  This “friend” took the money he’d invested and abandoned the project.  So now my pal is nearly bankrupt and has to resort to an Uber-type job to earn a living.  We conversed between rides.  The gig economy emerged after the “Great Recession”.  I fell victim to it after losing my job with an engineering firm in 2010.  It can be humiliating, as people struggle to find work.

As I described in a previous essay, I began fighting alcoholism in the mid-1980s.  I still haven’t won – and I know I never really will – but I’ve succeeded in controlling it.  Equally wicked and unrelenting, depression and alcoholism are perfect companions – global serial killers.  I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been impacted by either of these afflictions.

But people don’t always tell the truth about their lives.

Regardless, I still wonder how I’ve come this far.  I’m certainly glad that I have.  Between October 2024 and January 2025 I lost three of my closest friends.  I’m at the point in time where I don’t count the number of likes I get on Facebook or Instagram.  I count the number of people I’ve outlived.  Then again, one doesn’t get to this point in life without going through a few bumps and bruises.  And that means losing people we know and love.

How are you still alive?

I don’t know.  Honestly…I have no idea.  But I’m here – and I’ll just keep moving forward.

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Absolutely No One!

Revelers at Trump’s “Gatsby” gala at his Mar-a-Lago estate

“Wait…why are over 40 million people on SNAP? It’s not the 1930s.  We’re not in a depression.  I have a hard time believing that many people actually need food assistance in America.”

Glenn Beck, commenting about food benefits amid the government shutdown

Nothing says classy like helping a disabled person navigating a grocery store aisle.  Nothing says trashy like one of the wealthiest people in the country throwing a lavish party while others are struggling to pay for food.

That’s the message inherent in Donald Trump’s recent Halloween bash at his Mar-a-Lago estate.  In the richest nation on Earth, the president of the United States is wallowing in his own ego and greed, as literally millions of average citizens wonder how they’re going to pay their bills and provide for their families.

As of this writing, the ongoing government shutdown has become the longest in U.S. history.  The chaos hasn’t affected me personally yet, but I remain leery and concerned.  The last shutdown in 2018 did impact the government agency for which my company does a great deal of contract work.  The present mess, though, is already upset the livelihoods of millions of people who have been furloughed from their jobs and others – such as air traffic controllers – who have been forced to work without pay. 

The latter is an obscene contradiction in that members of Congress are still getting paid.  Yes, the political elite are receiving their salaries, while doing no work.  Some federal employees are working, but not receiving their pay.  Please tell me I’m not the only one realizes how screwed up this is.

Trump’s “Gatsby” festival is not just a true indication of the President’s own arrogance and disrespect for humanity, but the growing economic disparities in the U.S.  This is a nation that boasts that someone like Jeff Bezos can grow a business from a garage operation into multi-billion dollar conglomerate; yet allows a foreign-born oligarch like Elon Musk to dictate how the U.S. government should function.

Glenn Beck’s comment regarding the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), or food benefits, is yet another hallmark of how disconnected the self-appointed elite – left or right – is with reality.  Conservative extremists like Beck are quick to condemn those who reach out for public assistance, but ignore the systems that create those needs.  Meanwhile radical liberals denounce corporations and business leaders, but don’t seem to understand personal responsibility is more than a Republican catchphrase.

I had to go on food and energy assistance a few years ago.  The COVID-19 pandemic wiped out what money I’d earned over nearly a decade of freelance and contract work.  I’d been on unemployment insurance before, but I knew I’d paid into that.  Help to buy food and pay my energy bills was a different creature.  I’m gainfully employed now, with full health benefits and a retirement plan.  I’m making a good living and satisfied with how my life is going.

But I understand completely how upset millions of Americans are with none of those things.  As the current morass continues, I wonder how this is happening.  How is the wealthiest country on Earth mired in such a serious financial crisis?  How is it that so many people – literally millions – are struggling just to live?  While Trump and his family and their minions party like the world is theirs and only theirs.

If this is such an affluent nation, absolutely no one should have to rely upon food, housing and energy assistance!  Not everyone needs to earn a six- or seven-figure salary or live in a multi-room mansion in a gated community.  Indeed, able-bodied and able-minded people should be accountable for their own actions.  But why do some people have to decide whether to pay the light bill or buy food?

Shortly after the turn of the century I joined a Dallas-area Toastmasters group.  I had met one of the co-founders, and he convinced me at least to visit.  I did and instantly felt a connection to this group of intellectuals who, like me, had something important to say.  Sadly, I became disillusioned with the group and left in the spring of 2004.  But, before I found a position with an engineering company in November 2002, that cofounder and I engaged in a rather tense discussion about economics and self-reliance.  Even though I definitely don’t consider myself conservative, that man insisted I belonged on the Republican side of things.  He was a devoted acolyte of Ronald Reagan and strongly supported then-President George W. Bush.  He was a small business owner, Jewish and openly queer.  He shocked me one time, however, when he said he didn’t really care what his fellow conservatives thought about either his ethnicity or his sexuality.  He was more concerned about the overall welfare of society.

A few months before I found that full-time job, he remarked that I “only represent a small percentage” of people across the country – in a sense mocking my lack of full employment.  Later he had commented that business owners should be allowed to discriminate against people strictly on the basis of race or gender; that anyone on the wrong end of that bigotry can just find another place to give their business. 

“Yeah,” I responded, “just like Hitler did.”

Ever see someone’s face overwhelmed with that proverbial deer-in-the-headlights expression?  His consternation was obvious enough for the blind to see.

But that, in essence, is the problem with our political leaders.  Remember they’re still earning their salaries – while doing no work.  When does the madness end?  And where’s the justice?

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