Spiced Wrong

Two of my least favorite things: Spam and pumpkin.

This pumpkin spice craze has gone too far and needs to be stopped! I don’t know what fool created pumpkin spice, but they need to be shipped to a small rocky island in the South Atlantic in June with a box of crackers and a jug of tap water and spend the rest of the winter thinking about the culinary Frankenstein they’ve unleashed upon humanity.

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Knowing You…Sooner Than You Realize!

If you want to know for certain that someone’s response to your Facebook friend request is sincere, just reply: ‘Great! Coming over this evening! Already have yr address. Bringing nachos, wine coolers, Hydrocodone & baby oil. Can’t wait! See u tonight!’

Don’t doubt me on this one! It’s saved me from countless fake friendships and wasting too much time preparing nachos for the lactose-intolerant!

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Dictum One

As I gaze at my bibliophilic mass and scour through various references and guides, I’ve come upon a conundrum; a problem that supersedes the complexities of literary and moral universes; a quandary that has amazingly bypassed the slew of great minds that have slaved over hot pens, pencils and keyboards in the centuries before us.

How the hell did the people who composed the very first dictionary know they had it right the first time?!

That’s not a rhetorical question, dear readers! I need an answer! Our verbose lives depend on it!

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Retro Quote – Barbara Jordan

“If the society today allows wrongs to go unchallenged, the impression is created that those wrongs have the approval of the majority.”

Barbara Jordan

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Worst Quote of the Week – November 15, 2019

“Get a rope.”

– Sid Miller, Texas Agriculture Commissioner, responding to the refusal by organizers of a Veterans Day parade in his hometown of Stephenville, Texas, to allow a Confederate group to participate.

Miller was upset the group wasn’t granted requested permission to march in the parade and later said he borrowed the comment from a 1992 Pace Picante sauce commercial. People were equally – and justifiably – upset Miller didn’t seem to graph the legacy of lynching in the U.S. and how the comment, ‘get a rope’, is linked to it.

Then again, Miller is a right-wing Republican conservative; so while people are upset with him, they shouldn’t be surprised. And, while I’ll never apologize for my Texas heritage, I’m always embarrassed that the majority of voters in this state continually put these Civil War relics into office.

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Best Quote of the Week – November 15, 2019

“I do not believe the United States should ask other countries to engage in selective, politically associated investigations or prosecutions against opponents of those in power, because such selective actions undermine the rule of law regardless of the country.”

– William Taylor, top U.S. diplomat to the Ukraine, testifying before the House Intelligence Committee on Wednesday, November 13, as part of initial impeachment hearings against Faux-President Donald Trump

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Boatscapes

All aboard!

The threat of climate change – and the forecasted rising sea levels – prompts a variety of responses from people: anger, frustration, denial and new ideas.  The latter is often a matter of subjective interpretation.  Many think of converting human waste to biofuel.  Others, like Wojciech Morsztyn, design new structures to accommodate the changes.

Morsztyn, a creator with Yanko Design, recently unveiled plans for massive house boats called ‘Ocean Communities’ where people could escape, as sea levels increase.  Some coastal and island communities are watching as seawaters encroach more and more upon them.  In the U.S., residents of some coastal small towns are being relocated further inland.  Dykes and levees just aren’t functioning properly in the face of such slow-moving catastrophes.

It’s inevitable, though, that some people will flee to the water itself and relocate their lives to an aquatic existence entombed in a boat.  Ocean Community doesn’t offer a monetary figure for such an abode, but I’m certain those of us in, say, the lower 95% economic range won’t be able to afford one.  That’s inevitable, too.  Most of the aforementioned communities being relocated are of the indigenous persuasion, such as the Alaskan Inuit.

I imagine, however, that the boating life is for those who don’t amass much in the form of material possessions.  I mean, if I was forced onto a luxury barge, would I have enough room for my collection of books, National Geographic magazines and porn DVDs?  Could I even bring my truck?  Yes, it’s getting old like me and this house.  But I’ve kind of endeared myself to the big black bastard.  Okay, that may be a man/Texas thing.  Yet, how much could one bring aboard a house boat to make their life as easy as on land?

More importantly, is this the real solution to dealing with climate change?  Aren’t house boats an admission of defeat?  Regardless, this video may be appealing, but I have to wonder if it’s the right answer to the pending chaos.

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