“Take photo, film, send it to an NGO (non-government organization), the NGO spreads it out, does a campaign against Brazil, gets in touch with Leonardo DiCaprio and Leonardo DiCaprio donates $500,000 to this NGO. One part went to the people who were setting the fire, right?”
– Brazilian President Jair Bolsarano, blaming environmentalists and U.S. actor Leonardo DiCaprio for the recent rash of wildfires that scorched the Amazon.
Filed under News
“This was a shocking and unprecedented intervention in a low-level review. It was also a reminder that the president has very little understanding of what it means to be in the military, to fight ethically or to be governed by a uniform set of rules and practices.”
– Richard Spencer, former Secretary of the U.S. Navy, regarding President Donald Trump’s decision to intervene in a case involving a Navy SEAL accused of a war crime.
The case involves Navy Chief Petty Officer Edward Gallagher who posed with the corpse of a dead teenaged Islamic State extremist in Iraq. “His values are not those of our military,” Spencer added.
Filed under News
Another week of the latest reality TV show to torture the masses, ‘The Harlequins of Washington’, has thankfully ended. The histrionic personality of Faux-President Donald Trump has yet to abate and find its happy place. Trump is the “Typhoid Mary” of the current political arena: infected, contagious, absurdly disgusting and in obvious denial. Where’s Louis Pasteur when you need him?! Or maybe Jeffrey Dahmer. Oh, Great Candelabra! I guess I shouldn’t be so brutally honest. But the unbridled scribe in me often takes over my brain faster than Germans at a beer festival.
Yet, every day of the week – including weekends and holidays – the U.S. and the world are treated to regular puny-worded rants from the American Putin. Trump is quicker to name-slur his adversaries – “Crooked Hillary”, “Lying Ted”, “Little Marco” – than he is to produce his tax records. Which, by the way, have yet to be removed from whatever subterranean vault they’re being housed in at Trump Tower.
The schizophrenic weather and temperature fluctuations that have traumatized Northeast Texas in recent months have left the Chief and many other locals swaddled in a morass of mucus, madness and melancholia. I dragged my carcass into visit my doctor this morning, hoping for a shot of some life-altering tonic: cortisone, Vitamin B12, hydrocodone, Don Julio tequila.
Afterwards, I realized our ‘Dear Clown Leader’ could use much of the same; just inject a slew of medications into his fat ass – a process that could last for days – in a concerted effort to nourish his pickling cerebral cortex into some semblance of normality and subsequently (hopefully) save the world.
Alas, dreams are always a good thing. Never give up on them! Now, I’ll steer my haggard self from national news broadcasts, partake of some Don Julio, and embed myself into another reality TV show; one with considerably more plausibility – “Ancient Aliens”.
Filed under Wolf Tales
“Life is never easy. There is work to be done and obligations to be met – obligations to truth, to justice, and to liberty.”
Sadly, today marks the 56th anniversary of Kennedy’s assassination here in my beloved home town of Dallas, Texas. I feel that, despite his short life and even shorter presidency, Kennedy helped to cultivate and enhance the concept of a true democratic society and successfully challenged Americans to work hard for those goals and to make their own lives better. We desperately need such leadership and forward-thinking ambitions today.
Filed under History
“Right now I want you to click on that button, and I want you to honor God with his first fruits offering. If God doesn’t divinely step in and intervene, I don’t know what you’re going to face – he does.”
– Paula White, Donald Trump’s “personal pastor”, in an email asking followers to send her a donation of USD 229, they will get “prophetic instruction” on how to attain victory over their “enemies.”
White claims the $229 fee is “in accordance with 1 Chronicles 22:9, and that it is “a specific seed” because “numbers are important to God.” Those who can’t manage the $229 for prophetic visions are encouraged to send $31 – the sum of 22 and 9. Now, isn’t that clever? But she insists the full $229 is needed to “break any chains.”
To the religiously curious, 1 Chronicles 22:9 reads: “But you will have a son who will be a man of peace and rest, and I will give him rest from all his enemies on every side. His name will be Solomon, and I will grant Israel peace and quiet during his reign.”
I don’t see anything in there about giving money to a man who inspired “The Joker” character and his gal-pal who’s in desperate need of a dye job.
Filed under News
“I confess that when I hear some speeches by someone responsible for public order or a government, I am reminded of Hitler’s speeches in 1934 and 1936. They are typical actions of Nazism which with its persecutions of Jews, gypsies, people of homosexual orientation, represent a negative model ‘par excellence’ of a throwaway culture and a culture of hate. That’s what they did then and today these things are resurfacing.
– Pope Francis, expressing concern about modern language he’s heard targeting Jews and the LGBTQ community.
Filed under News
Two of my least favorite things: Spam and pumpkin.
This pumpkin spice craze has gone too far and needs to be stopped! I don’t know what fool created pumpkin spice, but they need to be shipped to a small rocky island in the South Atlantic in June with a box of crackers and a jug of tap water and spend the rest of the winter thinking about the culinary Frankenstein they’ve unleashed upon humanity.
Filed under Curiosities
