Tag Archives: kids

Happy Mother’s Day 2024!

“All mothers are working mothers.”

Phyllis Diller

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Creepy Easter Photos 2024

In case you hadn’t realized it, Dear Readers, Santa Claus and Halloween clowns aren’t the only holiday figures that can boast unnerving images.  Easter bunnies hold a considerable share of macabre visages.  After all, what mammal besides a platypus do you know lays eggs?  Of course, the platypus is trying to procreate.  The Easter bunny seems to have more nefarious intentions – they hide their eggs and convince innocent little kids to look for them.  Who does that?!

And, if you aren’t sufficiently alarmed by these photos, here’s Liam Neeson adding to the trauma:

Top image: Dave Whamond

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Happy Mother’s Day 2023!

“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and pulling it up over your head.”

Carol Burnett

Image: Morgan Johnson

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Happy Mother’s Day 2022

“They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons – because they installed them.”

Robin Williams

Image: Business Today

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Father’s Day 2021

The Gift

By Li-Young Lee

To pull the metal splinter from my palm

my father recited a story in a low voice.

I watched his lovely face and not the blade.

Before the story ended, he’d removed

the iron sliver I thought I’d die from.

I can’t remember the tale,

but hear his voice still, a well

of dark water, a prayer.

And I recall his hands,

two measures of tenderness

he laid against my face,

the flames of discipline

he raised above my head.

Had you entered that afternoon

you would have thought you saw a man

planting something in a boy’s palm,

a silver tear, a tiny flame.

Had you followed that boy

you would have arrived here,

where I bend over my wife’s right hand.

Look how I shave her thumbnail down

so carefully she feels no pain.

Watch as I lift the splinter out.

I was seven when my father

took my hand like this,

and I did not hold that shard

between my fingers and think,

Metal that will bury me,

christen it Little Assassin,

Ore Going Deep for My Heart.

And I did not lift up my wound and cry,

Death visited here!

I did what a child does

when he’s given something to keep.

I kissed my father.

Li-Young Lee, “The Gift” from Rose. Copyright ©1986 by Li-Young Lee

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Better Not Cry! Better Just Shut the Hell Up!

Nothing says Christmas like evergreen trees, candy canes, strings of colorful lights, ginger bread-spiced Xanax and kids screaming in terror while perched on Santa’s lap.  The latter is particularly reminiscent of those times when you feel the yuletide holiday brings out the best in people.  As these photos indicate, that’s just not true.  Yes, it’s that glorious time of the year.  Merry Christmas, all you little fuckers!

 

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