Tag Archives: mothers

Happy Mother’s Day 2020!

“There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart.”

Washington Irving

“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.”

Carrie Underwood

“Every day when you’re raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and just scream, ‘This is ridiculous!’ because there’s so much nonsense, whether it’s what they’re saying to you or the fact that there’s avocado or poop on every surface.”

Kristen Bell

“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.”

Amy Poehler

“After we got home from the hospital, I didn’t shower for a week, and then John and I were like, ‘Let’s go out for dinner.’  I could last only about an hour because my boobs were exploding. When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami.  But we went, just to prove to ourselves that we could feel normal for a second.”

Emily Blunt

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

Nora Ephron

“Sometimes I stand there going, ‘I’m not doing any of this right!’  And then I get this big man belch of her and I go, ‘Ah, we accomplished this together.’”

Christina Applegate

“All women become like their mothers.  That is their tragedy.  No man does.  That’s his.”

Oscar Wilde

“Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit.  You want to torture someone?  Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.”

Shonda Rhimes

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

Phyllis Diller

“[Having four kids is] endless stuff.  It’s endless entertainment, it’s endless stress, endless responsibility.  Everyone’s at different ages and levels, everyone’s into different stuff. But everyone is into slime.”

Maya Rudolph

“I’ve learned that it’s way harder to be a baby.  For instance, I haven’t thrown up since the ‘90s and she’s thrown up twice since we started this interview.”

Eva Mendes

“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.”

Chrissy Teigen

“Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?”

Alyson Hannigan

“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”

Michelle Pfeiffer

“You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again?  At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.”

Jennifer Garner

“If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man – and by ‘party’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’.”

Olivia Wilde

“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”

Reese Witherspoon

“Stop saying, ‘We’re pregnant.’  You’re not pregnant.  Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole?  No.”

Mila Kunis

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”

Honore de Balzac

“I’ve conquered a lot of things … blood clots in my lungs – twice … knee and foot surgeries … winning Grand Slams being down match point … to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!”

Serena Williams

“Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”

Nia Vardalos

“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.”

Julie Bowen

“Happy is the son whose faith in his mother remains unchallenged.”

Louisa May Alcott

“A mother’s love doesn’t make her son more dependent and timid; it actually makes him stronger and more independent.”

Cheri Fuller

“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.”

Irish Proverb

Image: Wisconsin Historical Society

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Happy Mother’s Day 2016!

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“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

Milton Berle

“Our mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met.”

Marguerite Duras

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality.  It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

Erma Bombeck

“Mother – that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.”

Thomas Dewitt Talmage

“My mother had a good deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”

Mark Twain

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

Phyllis Diller

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”

Buddy Hackett

“Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.”

Dave Barry

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’.”

Susan Savannah

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”

Peter De Vries

 

Image courtesy: Love Statues

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