Tag Archives: moms

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

– Milton Berle

“Our mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met.”

– Marguerite Duras

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality.  It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

– Erma Bombeck

“Mother – that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.”

– Thomas Dewitt Talmage

“My mother had a good deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”

– Mark Twain

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

– Phyllis Diller

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”

– Buddy Hackett

“Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.”

– Dave Barry

“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’.”

– Susan Savannah

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”

– Peter De Vries

 

Image courtesy: Love Statues