Foreign Born Job Recruiter: I need you to clitify something on your resume.
The Chief: Um…excuse me?
JR: I need you to clitify the period since 2015.
TC: I still don’t understand. What is it about 2015?
JR: Your work history since 2015 needs to be clitified.
TC (thinking salaciously without breathing hard; after all, I’m talking to a woman): Okay, I still don’t…um…I still don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me. Um…clitify? What…what do you mean?
JR: Since 2015 – your work experience needs to be clitified. What were you doing?
TC (beginning to breathe hard – er – heavily): Since 2015? I was working freelance – contract – temporary. I often consulted on writing projects.
JR: Ah! Okay, that’s what I wanted to know. You were a consultant, right?
TC (pausing, breathing slows): Well…yes. (Now I get it!) I consulted on various writing projects. (Brain functioning more thoroughly now; as in 2+2=4.)
JR: It’s just not clitified on your resume.
TC (getting juicy again, but maintaining composure – long pause): Clitified?
TC (still maintaining composure but damn it’s hard! I mean, difficult!): Okay…(brain synapses finally engage). Oh! Clarify!
TC (uttering derogatory comments about trying to communicate with foreign-language speakers): Okay, I see what you’re saying now.
JR: Yes, you need to add that – consultant.
TC (lightheartedly and still annoyed): Okay, I will.
TC (reworking resume to CLARIFY work experience since 2015): Why the fuck can’t they outsource job recruiting to somewhere relatively close to the U.S.?! Like, say, Montana.
NOTE: Yes, I’m usually shirtless when working from home (unless I’m on a video call), but I do make it a point to wear (clean) underwear, which is size extra medium. Not that you needed to know, but my writer’s intuition tells me your filthy mind was curious. Look, people, this is a family blog! Get your minds out of the fucking gutter!