I’m no fan of politicians in general, but I do make a concerted effort to follow the issues and vote. Whenever I grow pessimistic about the electoral processes, I always think of the millions of people around the world who wish they had the luxury of choosing between the lesser of two evils. All political conventions, however, are show places for the party’s elite insiders; whether they’re actually running for office or just have enough money to be invited. But, they’re also known for both some great speeches and verbal gaffes. I watched much of this madness and couldn’t help but notice the glaring arrogance and hypocrisies of the speakers. Others, such as New México Governor Susana Martinez, actually had some good things to say. In no particular order, here are a handful of the bright – and dimwitted – oratorical moments from this year’s Republican National Convention in Tampa.
“President Obama promised to begin to slow the rise of the oceans. And heal the planet. My promise is to help you and your family.”
“With all their attack ads, the President is just throwing away money…and he’s pretty experienced at that.”
“When somebody does not do the job, we gotta let ‘em go.”
“Self esteem comes from achievements. Not from lax standards and false praise.”
– Condoleezza Rice, former Secretary of State
“Fifty-five years ago, when my dad was a penniless teenager, thank God some well-meaning bureaucrat didn’t put his arm around him and say, ‘Let me take care of you.’”
– Ted Cruz, lawyer and U.S. Senate candidate
“Here is their plan. Whistle a happy tune while driving us off a fiscal cliff as long as they are behind the wheel of power when we fall.”
– Governor Chris Christie, New Jersey
“(Obama) hasn’t been working to earn reelection; he’s been working to earn a spot on the PGA tour!”
– Sen. Mitch McConnell, Kentucky
“I’ve come to realize that Barack Obama is the tattoo president. Like a big tattoo, it seemed cool when you were young. But later on, that decision doesn’t look so good, and you wonder: what was I thinking? But the worst part is you’re still going to have to explain it to your kids.”
– Tim Pawlenty, former Minnesota governor
“My working poor parents told me that I could do better. They taught me that I was as good as anybody else. And it never occurred to them to tell me that I could just rest comfortably and wait for good old Uncle Sugar to feed me, lead me and then bleed me.”
– Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas governor
“When you hear the party that glorified Occupy Wall Street blast success; when you hear them minimize the genius of the men and women who make jobs out of nothing, is that what you teach your children about work?”
– Rep. Artur Davis, Alabama
“Ronald Reagan used to say America was a city on a hill. Under Obama, America is becoming a tent city with people waiting in line for government handouts.”
– Yash Wadhwa, engineer and Wisconsin congressional candidate
“In 1923 there were no government benefits for immigrants except one: Freedom!”
– Rick Santorum, former U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania
“They’ve got a Jobs Council that never meets; a Democratic Senate that doesn’t act; a President who doesn’t believe; and a Vice President who won’t stop talking. They just don’t get it.”
– Tom Stemberg, venture capitalist and founder of Staples
“I read somewhere that Mitt and I have a ‘storybook marriage.’ Well, in the storybooks I read, there were never long, long, rainy winter afternoons in a house with five boys screaming at once. And those storybooks never seemed to have chapters called MS or Breast Cancer. A storybook marriage? No, not at all. What Mitt Romney and I have is a real marriage.”
“The EPA is now the ‘Employment Prevention Agency.’”
– Governor Bob McDonnell, Virginia
“And I know that if President Obama is elected in November, which I hope that he is, that he will be able to come together with all of us and come up with a solution and I believe he will secure our borders and therefore we can resolve all those other issues, it’s a simple matter.”
– Governor Jan Brewer, Arizona
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“He’s going to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N. Then what happens? I’m thinking worst-case scenario – civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe.”
– Judge Tom Head of Lubbock County, Texas, speaking to a local Fox News affiliate about the possible repercussions if President Obama wins another term in office.
He was actually trying to justify a sale tax increase, which would go towards funding local law enforcement, in the event a bunch of renegade Negroes, Indians and Mexicans should forget their place in society and launch an assault. I would support such an insurrection if assholes like Head and the entire Texas GOP could be banished to an island in the Arctic.
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