“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”
“Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.”
“It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales.”
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”
“The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
“It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.”
“It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer; we smile a little easier; we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.”
“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.”
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”
Chief Writing Wolf 