Survivalist Tip: In the upheaval of the apocalypse, many people probably will have guns, or at least slingshots. Regardless, you should have body armor in your cache of survivalist gear in the event you encounter a gun battle with your foes; meaning any politicians or celebrities who manage to survive the fury. Body armor is classified into Levels I, II, or III. This means: okay, good, or invincible. Obviously, you need to buy Level III body armor. What?! Did you think I’d say just pick one?! Level III body armor is 100% stab proof, almost 100% bullet proof and about 82.5% odor proof. (The latter figure refers to the ability of the armor to protect your skin from the foul smell of rotting carcasses.) For the fashion-conscious, it also comes in 3 colors: black, ebony and onyx. Not that you should care! But, I’m sure amidst the tumult, some women or nelly gay men will make that an issue. Black is my favorite color anyway, so I’ll be happy no matter what. As with anything, you never know what the apocalyptic aftermath may bring. It won’t necessarily bring any law and order, but it will definitely bring tax relief.
Chief Writing Wolf 