Survivalist Tip: Your home may have a basement. In upper class neighborhoods, they’re called wine cellars; in middle class, they’re basements; and in lower class, they’re called tubs. Regardless, a basement is a great place to flee in the event of a natural calamity such as a tornado or IRS audit. But, after the Mayan apocalypse, a basement won’t necessarily protect from all the miscreants roaming the barren terrain searching for food, medicine and a working telephone. For that reason, you’ll need to construct a bunker in your back yard. Don’t worry about code violations or neighbors’ complaints. They won’t matter when the Mayan gods return to Earth to slay the remnants of a world gone awry. A bunker should be completely encased in steel and / or concrete and have enough room for you, your family, your pets, clothing, food rations, water and several vials of Xanax. (You may be enclosed for a while, so someone in your party is bound to panic, and killing them is not an option is such a confined environment.) A well-fortified bunker will guard against such catastrophes as a nuclear attack and, of course, the Mayan siege. You can build it yourself, or you can contract a reputable right-wing firm to build it for you. Either way, just build one!
Chief Writing Wolf 