Survivalist Tip: I had to replace a tire on my truck this morning, which reminded me how important a vehicle is – especially a large one. If you have to flee your home when the apocalypse hits, it’s best to be in a sturdy vehicle, such as a big truck, instead of something like a Toyota Camry or a “Smart Car.” I don’t care how environmentally conscious you may be; those puny runts won’t be too efficient when chaos erupts all around you! I have “Hot Wheels” bigger than those things! (No, I don’t play with “Hot Wheels” anymore.) But, I recommend investing in a large truck. You can store your most important survival gear in the bed of it: water, food rations, rope, chocolate and Xanax. Even really big trucks get good gas mileage these days, which will be critical as you traverse the barren wasteland. Besides, if any zombies in a “Smart Car” try to cause trouble, you can run their ass off the road!
Chief Writing Wolf 