For real! Not 50, not 51 – 49! Damnit! I can hardly wait until I turn 50, which is a major milestone in anyone’s life. But, getting to 49 is good enough because it means I’ve made it another year. I’ll do what I do most every birthday: reading, writing, a visit to the gym, a few alcoholic beverages and top it off with a hellacious orgasm. I mean, come on! Every birthday is special! You never know when you’ll have another!