Tag Archives: apocalypse 2012
Okay, this is it, folks – the last week of the countdown. At this point, there’s no more advice I can give you. Hopefully, you’re fully prepared for the dramatic end of this Baktun and the start of the next one. Just remember it will be simultaneously cataclysmic and horrific. Wind, rain, dust, hail, lightning – all of nature’s elements – will come towards you at once. Promise your soul now to Mother Earth and Father Sky! And, safeguard that water and chocolate!
Survivalist Tip: You must fortify the front door to your home if you want to add an extra measure of security for you and your family. Most people think of locks, chains, burglar alarms and ‘Beware of Demonic Dog’ notices plastered below the peep hole, when they’re asked about the front door. All of these things, however, are merely deterrents. You have to reinforce the door jamb, which is the vertical portion of the frame onto which the door is secured. Of course, if you didn’t know what a door jamb is in the first place, you’re going to have a really tough time when the apocalypse hits anyway. But, here’s how to strengthen the door jamb:
- Pry off the doorstop. This is the trim that the door closes against. Now find where the jamb has been nailed through the shims. Remove each nail and replace with a very long screw (long enough to reach a couple inches into the stud). Once the screws are flush, put the doorstop back and you’re done.
- Reinforce the hinges. Most hinges have short screws that don’t reach very far. Simply replace the short screws with long screws that will reach all the way into the studs. That will secure the door to the jamb and the house frame.
- Reinforce the strike plate. This is the small piece of metal in the jamb that holds the latch or bolt in place. Because the jamb is chiseled out to make room for the keeper, this is a weak spot where the jamb can easily split apart. Once again, you’ll need to replace the short screws with ones that reach through into the stud.
Now, the jamb and both sides of the door are attached to the frame and make a formidable barrier. That way you can enjoy your chocolate and fruit preserves in true comfort. If anyone asks why you’re going to such lengths, just hold up your shotgun and show them the door.