“Help, reproductive instinct, loneliness and quiet revenge on the church. I cannot be a priest as a gay man, but I can reproduce myself as often as I want.”
– Markus K, a prolific German sperm donor, trying to explain himself.
The story broke recently in Munich’s “Abendzeitung,” or “Evening News.” Markus K apparently has fathered 22 children with 17 lesbian women. Two more of his children are supposedly due this summer. I wish I could get paid for producing awesome sperm samples. I mean, I know I’d make a butt-load of money. Who would think manual labor could pay so well! But, alas, I have a greater responsibility to society, as a whole, than to believe my sperm cells must be preserved like seeds in the “Doomsday Seed Vault.” I also don’t think a porn career would sit well with my family. So, I’ll just have to stick with my homemade videos. Just so Markus and his overactive hands will know – YOU’RE NOT THAT SPECIAL! Bringing children into the world is no way to wreak revenge on a church, you dumb ass!