Regular Chocolate Eaters Are Thinner

Chocolate lovers can rejoice in their near-vindication.  A study conducted by the Department of Medicine at the University of California, San Diego, alleges that adults who eat chocolate on a regular basis are actually thinner than those who don’t!  Again, this is nothing concrete, but the results dare to suggest that “regular chocolate consumption might be calorie-neutral.”  In other words, it won’t make you the fat-ass that those bitches who founded Jenny Craig say it will.  Scientists already proved that chocolate has some health benefits, mainly because it contains flavonoids, which act as antioxidants.  They, in turn, help prevent damage to various parts of the body.  I’m sure further research will be warranted, especially from the likes of Richard Simmons.  In the meantime, chocolatiers will most certainly have to prepare for a rush on orders.  I mean, why wait for a special occasion?!  This news is special enough!

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