“This cat hits its prey, startles it, and then grabs the neck immediately and then holds on for about five minutes. Doesn’t move a muscle, except for right – every energy – every bit of energy’s put right into the choking.”
– Jack Hanna, Director Emeritus of the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium.
“What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country, saying, ‘Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that’s what I’m hearing.’ Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.”
– Hilary Rosen, Democratic strategist criticizing Romney, on CNN’s “Anderson Cooper 360.”
Survivalist Tip: Yesterday I discussed the importance of maintaining the integrity of the tires on your vehicle. In the event you should have to change a tire, of course, you’ll a tire jack. And, just like a vehicle without good tires, a vehicle without a solid car jack is akin to eating pizza with low-fat cheese. Why bother? Your vehicle should come equipped with a tire jack. If it doesn’t, you got jacked (pun intended) and need to buy one. It’s bad enough changing a flat or disintegrated tire; changing one in the midst of the chaos at the start of the new Baktun will be especially hazardous. Regardless, safety is important. So, while a member of your posse stands nearby with a shotgun to fight off any politicians, reality TV show stars, or other lower-than-pond-scum forms of life that might survive, here are some safety tips for operating a basic tire jack.
Most tire jacks are hand-operated, scissor types that fold up and fit neatly beneath the front seat. Others are hydraulic, lever-operated. Although they’re more expensive, I recommend purchasing a hydraulic jack. You don’t want to expend too much energy pumping a hand-operated one. You’ll have enough trouble keeping the kids and pets under control.
Sometime before December 21, do a test run of your jack to make certain that it functions properly and that you know what you’re doing. This includes making certain all of the jack’s parts are thoroughly lubricated. Using your vehicle owner’s manual, learn to identify the crank, ratchet or lever. (If you’re getting sexually aroused at this point, you’re losing focus and probably will die when the apocalypse hits.)
Make certain the vehicle is on a relatively flat surface, away from traffic.
Shift automatic vehicles into park. Shift manual vehicles into reverse or first gear. Engage the emergency brake.
Immobilize the vehicle, either with a brick, a steel wedge, or the head of the most uncooperative member of your group.
Place the jack base flat on firm ground. Find the part of the jack that connects to the vehicle’s frame. This part is flat and usually circular-shaped. The area beneath the vehicle where it fits is often an indentation that is slightly larger than the jack part. In other vehicles, it’s just a large equally flat part of the undercarriage. (If you’re confused, take a deep breath and get hold of yourself.)
After the vehicle is lifted a few inches, remove the wheel cover and loosen the lug nuts. After lifting it a few more inches, remove the bad tire and replace it with the spare. Replace the lug nuts and tighten them securely. Trying to loosen or tighten lug nuts manually is the most strenuous part of changing a tire, so I recommend buying a battery-operated lug nut tool.
Lower the vehicle back to the ground and store the jack properly.
As I’ve stated several times before, your vehicle may be your life line away from danger or greedy in-laws. A tire jack is just one of the many assets to ensure a safe drive. Besides, it makes a great disciplinary tool for anyone in your crew who gets out of line.
1945 – The U.S. Army liberated the Buchenwald concentration camp near Weimar, Germany.
1947 – Jackie Robinson became the first Black player in major-league baseball history when he played in an exhibition game for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
1956 – Elvis Presley reached the top spot on the Billboard music chart with his first double-sided hit: Heartbreak Hotel and I Was the One. The RCA Victor record stayed at number one for eight weeks. Elvis also made the country and R&B charts.
1970 – The third lunar mission, Apollo 13, was launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida. The mission was aborted when an oxygen tank exploded aboard the spacecraft.
1979 – Ugandan dictator Idi Amin fled the capital of Kampala, as forces from Tanzania and the Uganda National Liberation Front approached.
A nomadic herder tussles with a reindeer in Hovsgol, Mongolia. Hovsgol is the northernmost of Mongolia’s 21 provinces, shadowing Russia’s border and sharing the great Siberian taiga (subarctic coniferous forest). Lichens in bright greens and oranges color 10,000-foot passes, while sacred rivers, rumored to never freeze, feed lakes framed by snow-tipped mountains. Photograph by Hamid Sardar, National Geographic.
Visitors at the entrance of the Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose, TX
“Most everyone in Glen Rose that I know believes man and dinosaurs coexisted. The only conflict we have is when people move from metropolitan areas and have different value systems. I think some don’t have a strong [religious] belief system, and they’re more likely to go with science than faith.”
— Alice Lance, a resident of Glen Rose, Texas.
Glen Rose, about 40 miles south of Fort Worth, is home to some of the best-preserved dinosaur tracks in the world. It’s also a heavily Christian community where many locals interpret the book of Genesis literally. Note to self: search for Elvis and Jim Morrison on next visit to Glen Rose; bring Jewish and Muslim friends, too.