Monthly Archives: April 2012

Survivalist Tip:  Yesterday I mentioned adding wine to your beverage supply, and since wine is made mostly from grapes, I wanted to discuss the value of them.  I know this is going ass backwards, but since I was a breach baby, that explains a lot about me.  Grapes are among the most universally loved fruits.  They grow on most every continent in the world.  They also are among the healthiest of foods you can eat.  Because of their high concentrations of Vitamins A, B6 and C, science has proven grapes possess many health benefits.

• Asthma – Because they increase the moisture present in the lungs, grapes can be used to cure asthma.
• Heart diseases – Grapes increase the nitric oxide levels in the blood, which prevents blood clots, thereby reducing the chances of heart attacks.  The antioxidant present in grapes prevents the formation of LDL cholesterol, which blocks the blood vessels.
• Migraines – Ripe grape juice can help to lessen the severity of migraines.
• Constipation – Grapes are considered a laxative food, since they contain organic acid, sugar and cellulose; therefore, they’re effective in overcoming constipation.  They also relieve chronic constipation by toning up intestine and stomach.  This is especially important, since you’ll have enough shit to deal with in the immediate aftermath of the apocalypse.
• Indigestion – Grapes help cure indigestion and irritation of the stomach.  (Refer to above.)
• Fatigue – Light and white grape juice replenishes the body’s iron content and prevents fatigue.  Grape juice also provides an instant energy boost.  This will be critical if you have to jump on someone trying to steal your firewood or chocolate.  The anti-oxidants present in grapes also provide a necessary boost to the immune system.
• Kidney disorders – Grapes can reduce the acidity of uric acid and helps in its elimination, thereby reducing pressure on the kidneys.
• Blood cholesterol – Grapes contain a compound called pterostilbene, which has the capacity to bring down LDL cholesterol levels.
• Antibacterial activity – Red grapes have strong antibacterial and antiviral properties and can protect you from infections, including poliovirus and herpes simplex virus.  Polio isn’t necessarily a major threat anymore, but herpes could still be present among the hip-hop singers and televangelists who might survive the upheaval.
• Anticancer properties – Grapes are found to have strong anti-cancer properties due to the anti-inflammatory effect of resveratrol.  It is particularly effective in colorectal cancer and breast cancer.  Anthocyanins and proanthocyanidins present in grapes can inhibit the growth of cancer causing agents, such as tobacco and high utility bills.
• Macular degeneration – Grapes can prevent the age related loss of vision or macular degeneration and cataracts.  Three servings of grapes a day can reduce the risks of macular degeneration by over 36%.  Fortunately, they won’t prevent you from noticing the piles of dead bodies you might encounter on your flight to safety.

Grapes actually last a while, even in warm weather.  But, of course, they taste better cold.  This might be challenging, as power is likely to be out for a while at the start of the new Baktun.  But, don’t worry!  Enjoy all the grapes you can tolerate.  Your insides will be grateful.

Survivalist Tip:  Amidst your supply of beverages, add some wine to it.  This may seem counter to the survivalist mentality, but studies in recent years show that wine is actually very healthy.  Of course, anything in excess is bad for you, including (as difficult as it is to believe) chocolate.  Red wine in particular has been proven healthful since it contains procyanidins, which protect against heart disease.  It’s also rich in an antioxidant called polyphenol, which helps prevent damage to blood vessels; that in turn, reduces bad cholesterol and prevents blood clots. 

Here are some estimated benefits to wine consumption: 

• It has been associated with better lung functioning, especially white wine.
• It promotes longevity.  Research has shown wine drinkers have a 34% lower mortality rate than consumers of beer or liquor.  This may be because beer and liquor drinkers are more likely to smoke, which is definitely antithetical to survivalist dogma.
• It reduces risk of Type 2 diabetes.  Moderate wine drinkers have 30% less risk than non-drinkers of developing Type 2 diabetes.  This is because they’re not as fat.  Fat people will have a tough time surviving the apocalypse.
• It lowers the risk of stroke.  Moderate wine consumers have a 50% less chance of having blood clot-related strokes.
• It reduces the risk of cataracts.  Moderate wine drinkers are 32% less likely to develop cataracts.  Dealing with cataracts is the last thing you need as you scavenge the countryside for food and water.
• It cuts the risk of colon cancer.  Moderate wine consumption has shown to reduce the risk of colon cancer by 45%.  Your colon is essential to digestive functioning.  You’ll have a difficult time if you’re always throwing up.
• It slows brain decline.  Moderate wine drinkers show a considerably slower rate of brain function decline than non-wine drinkers.  In the “New Universe,” the Mayan deities will look down upon people who don’t have all their wits about them.

Keep in mind the above point are just estimates.  But, there’s no need to refrain from wine consumption, even in the aftermath of the upheaval.  Besides, not only does wine go great with chocolate, empty wine bottle make good water storage containers and defense weapons.