Survivalist Tip: If the thought of eating worms to survive is sickening, then you’d better hope you can stay indoors when the apocalypse hits. As strange – even repulsive as it seems – worms are a good source of protein. Ancient peoples all over the world have used them in their diets. The Mayans used to fry them with chili peppers and then take a chocolate enema. Contemporary survivalist courses in the military often talk about living off of various insects, including worms. I’ve actually only consumed a worm once in my life – after almost completely downing a bottle of tequila. My fellow frat brothers saved the worm just for me. I felt special and loved.
Pound for pound, though, worms have higher protein content than most animal products. Mealworms are a great starter worm for the uninitiated. They can be found in any bait and tackle shop, specialty sellers, or garden center. If you choose the latter place to get them, try to buy a plant first, or they’ll call security when they see you crawling around looking for worms. You can even raise them, if you’re so inclined. People all over Latin America and Asia do this; they even sell them to locals and occasionally the adventurous tourist. You can eat them raw, or – as I stated above – cook them somehow with another ingredient. If you feel like getting your protein and caffeine at once, you could even dip them into warm chocolate.
Regardless, don’t turn up your nose at the thought of consuming insect larvae. The Mayan deities strike down anyone who thinks they’re too good to eat something that comes from the blessed Earth. Just remember, though, no matter where or how you’re buried, worms will work their way into your body somehow. You might as well enjoy some while you’re still alive.