Silver Spoons and Golden Butt Plugs

While George W. Bush may have been born with a silver spoon in his mouth – to paraphrase the late great Ann RichardsMitt Romney was born with a golden plug up his ass.  In case you just woke up from a coma or have been spending too much time watching the Kardashian clowns, you know that Romney has been busted disrespecting nearly half the American population.  During a private fund raiser at the home of a wealthy Florida benefactor this past May, Romney said, “There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.”

Someone in the crowd surreptitiously videotaped Romney’s speech, but only now has it come to light.  Gosh, if a rich White guy isn’t safe saying whatever he wants in the home of an affluent supporter, where can he be safe?  I mean, what a cruel world!

In one respect, Romney is correct: some people will vote for Obama no matter what.  And, some people will vote for Romney regardless of what he says or does.  In either case, they have that right.  That’s the beauty of a truly democratic society; people can vote for whichever politician they choose and not feel compelled to explain it to anyone.

But, once again, Romney proves just how far removed he is from American reality.  While he and his family lounge on their luxury yacht that flies the Grand Cayman flag, the average U.S. citizen – that loathsome “47 percent” – continues to struggle with joblessness, low wages and / or high medical costs.  He seems to have the same understanding of what us lowly common folk experience every day as – well – as the Kardashians.  I guess when you live in an ivory tower, everything on the outside looks like a garbage landfill.

That “47 percent” comprises not just nearly half the American population, they include many folks who vote Republican.  They’re retirees who paid plenty of taxes during their working lives and military veterans whose pay is tax exempt.  Since Mitt Romney – like George W. Bush and Dick Cheney – dodged the draft during the Vietnam War and Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life, neither can relate to many souls in that “47 percent.”

But, that “47 percent” includes people like me who have struggled to find work in a fragile economy brought on by conservative Republican financial incompetence and my parents who – between them – have put in a century’s worth of work and rely upon Social Security and Medicare just to stay alive.  None of us has a million dollar trust fund.  We didn’t get a $77,000 tax credit like Ann Romney’s dressage horse.  But, we don’t ask for that either.  We don’t need millions of dollars to be happy.  No one really does.  Anyone who feels they need a million dollar salary just to get by is an idiot.

But, since my parents and I, along with millions of other Americans, have worked hard all our lives and done what was expected of decent, law-abiding citizens, we deserve more respect than Romney seems able – or willing – to dish out.  That he made those comments during a meeting staged by a wealthy donor and where attendees paid $50,000 just to be able to walk in the front door shows where his interests lie.  Of course, big political contests require big monetary donations – both Republican and Democrat.

In 1992, then Governor Bill Clinton appeared at a “town hall” type forum where a woman asked him if he knew the cost of certain basic essentials like a loaf of bread and a gallon of gas.  Clinton answered accurately and without hesitation.  It was clear he could relate to the average American.  But, his prime opponent, President George H.W. Bush, couldn’t.  That seems to be an attribute of most politicians and – from my independent perspective – an affliction of the vast majority of Republican politicians.

So, here’s a piece of uninvited advice to Mitt Romney from a middle class voter and tax-paying citizen: pull that golden plug out of your ass and stick it in your mouth.  Have your wife and her horse help you if it’s wedged in there too tight.  All that shit in unpaid taxes has backed up into your brain and obviously has no place to go.  Now, happy campaigning!

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