This Is What I Know

Questions?

Questions?

I’ve learned a few things in the more than half-century I’ve spent on planet Earth.  Actually, more than a few things.  Much of it has been about myself.  I’ve developed my own set of core beliefs.  After years of listening to other people, working in corporate America, reading, writing, eating, drinking and masturbating, I’ve come to realize there are some things that are inherently true and others that are inherently false.

Therefore, I present this random list of things I’ve come to know are factual.  I know plenty of folks – some I actually like – will dispute a few of them.  Oh well… Other people’s rules don’t apply to me.  Deal with it.

 

  • Most animals are cool, but most people are assholes.
  • Women are better at some things than men, such as negotiating and cooperation; and men are better at some things than women, such as planning ahead and taking action.  Neither set of attributes is superior to the other; they’re complementary.
  • Organized religion – especially Judaism, Christianity and Islam – serves no purpose.
  • “Seinfeld” isn’t funny.
  • Not everything wrong in the world is the fault of White males.
  • Children should learn to read and write before they learn to shoot a gun.
  • Politics is intrinsically evil.
  • Lesbians aren’t always hot and sexy.
  • Bill Clinton was the last great president the United States had.
  • Dwight Eisenhower was the last great Republican president.
  • Most Hispanic-Americans are concerned with more than just immigration.
  • AIDS is not the only disease that matters.
  • Fathers serve a purpose beyond financial support.
  • It’s okay for men to be bisexual.
  • Old people aren’t always angry, but they have a right to be pissed off.
  • Jews aren’t the only people on Earth who’ve suffered, nor have they suffered more than anybody else.
  • Real men wear condoms and don’t expect only women to provide birth control.
  • People with British accents aren’t necessarily classy or smart.
  • The biblical story of creationism is just that – a story.  Anyone who believes it is an idiot.
  • It’s alright if you drink alcohol and eat meat.  Don’t get me wrong!  I love vegetarians.  I eat one almost every day.
  • There’s life on other planets – and I don’t mean just single-celled stuff.
  • Writers, painters and other artists are weird – but we serve a greater purpose than professional athletes.
  • Women should register for Selective Service.
  • Going to church every Sunday morning is a waste of a good Sunday morning.
  • Going to a synagogue every Saturday morning is a waste of a good Saturday morning.
  • Julia Roberts is a lousy actress.
  • There are only two genders; female and male.  Transgendered folks don’t comprise a third sex; they’re fucked up.
  • Red hair is beautiful.
  • Some of the most well-educated people I’ve ever met are also some of the stupidest people I’ve ever met.
  • Male circumcision needs to be banned.
  • It’s odd that almost everyone in the Black community has a mother and a pastor, but no one seems to have a father.
  • It’s okay to have brown eyes.
  • Some people are totally worthless pieces of shit and need to be executed.
  • Women should be allowed to go topless in public, just like men.
  • Sex is way overrated.
  • If you wear socks with flip-flops or sandals, you have no idea how stupid you look.
  • Income inequality and climate change ultimately will destroy any society.
  • There’s only one race on Earth – the human race.

4 Comments

Filed under Essays

4 responses to “This Is What I Know

  1. I wish there was a love button, some of these made me laugh. I only disagreed (vehemently) with one of them. Only one. I wonder if you could guess, off the top of your head with which one. Other than that one single one, you and I could walk arm and arm and start our own movement.

    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

  2. Love your list! A few made me laugh. I always spend a lot of time when I read your blog…so many interesting and diverse (and very well-written) entries!

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