Steve Bannon Looks Like…

On Thursday, the 20th, the political world received a shock when Steve Bannon, former campaign manager to Donald Trump, was arrested on tax fraud charges.  Okay, maybe not too many were shocked.  I mean, Bannon is the 10th former Trump official to be indicted on something.  Bannon has been charged with personally using money from a non-profit intended to build a massive wall on the U.S. border with México – you know, the wall for which México was supposed to pay.  Adding to the elitist irony of it all, Bannon was taken into custody aboard a yacht owned by an exiled Chinese billionaire.

But it’s Bannon’s mug shot that has elicited a slew of raucously crass comments.  Any mug shot – which are just one step above driver’s license photos – always makes for a few good laughs.  Looking at Bannon’s pic incurred all sorts of unsavory images in the Chief’s perpetually disturbed mind.

Hence, Steve Bannon’s mug shot makes him look like:

  • The creepy old guy at the end of the bar who keeps winking at you.  (I’ve been on both ends.)
  • A man enduring a midlife crisis stepping into a Ferrari dealership while his wife is at a church retreat.
  • A Walmart greeter.
  • Fellow blogger and my brother in creatively mental instability Art Browne. (Love you, buddy!)
  • A refugee from Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”.
  • Any drunk at a Waffle House between midnight and 4 a.m.
  • A headshot for a reverse mortgage commercial.
  • Jerry Garcia’s missing twin.
  • An NFL referee.
  • Any 1980s-era televangelist.
  • A 1980s-era rock star fresh out of rehab.
  • A 1970s-era porn star fresh out of rehab.
  • Any number of homeless men I used to see on the streets of downtown Dallas – only more pathetic.
  • The old man who asks, “Want some candy?”
  • The Chief at age 70.  Oh God, how terrifying!

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