On Thursday, the 20th, the political world received a shock when Steve Bannon, former campaign manager to Donald Trump, was arrested on tax fraud charges. Okay, maybe not too many were shocked. I mean, Bannon is the 10th former Trump official to be indicted on something. Bannon has been charged with personally using money from a non-profit intended to build a massive wall on the U.S. border with México – you know, the wall for which México was supposed to pay. Adding to the elitist irony of it all, Bannon was taken into custody aboard a yacht owned by an exiled Chinese billionaire.
But it’s Bannon’s mug shot that has elicited a slew of raucously crass comments. Any mug shot – which are just one step above driver’s license photos – always makes for a few good laughs. Looking at Bannon’s pic incurred all sorts of unsavory images in the Chief’s perpetually disturbed mind.
Hence, Steve Bannon’s mug shot makes him look like:
- The creepy old guy at the end of the bar who keeps winking at you. (I’ve been on both ends.)
- A man enduring a midlife crisis stepping into a Ferrari dealership while his wife is at a church retreat.
- A Walmart greeter.
- Fellow blogger and my brother in creatively mental instability Art Browne. (Love you, buddy!)
- A refugee from Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”.
- Any drunk at a Waffle House between midnight and 4 a.m.
- A headshot for a reverse mortgage commercial.
- Jerry Garcia’s missing twin.
- An NFL referee.
- Any 1980s-era televangelist.
- A 1980s-era rock star fresh out of rehab.
- A 1970s-era porn star fresh out of rehab.
- Any number of homeless men I used to see on the streets of downtown Dallas – only more pathetic.
- The old man who asks, “Want some candy?”
- The Chief at age 70. Oh God, how terrifying!