Final Thoughts

“Thank you,” muttered the pastor, already looking more tired than when the service started.  “Now, would anyone else like to say a few last words before we proceed to the cemetery?”

I took a deep breath and stood.  “Yes, I would.”

“Very well.”

I looked briefly at the crowd and swallowed hard.  “I have to say my friend was a unique individual.”

Obnoxious little bastard!

“He never seemed to meet a stranger.”

Only made friends if they could do something for him.

“He could be funny and engaging.”

And rude and stupid!

“I always had the best time with him.”

If he didn’t run out on the tab – which he did more than once!

“We even thought of going into business together at one point.”

He had the looks, but I had the brains.

“A graphic arts business.”

Bastard wanted to turn it into a porn thing.

“It was a great idea, and I knew we’d go places with it.”

After a while, I wanted his ass to go straight to hell!

“I think we did our best, but you know how everything looks great on paper!”

He kept screwing up things!

“Still…I was sad when he got sick.”

Payback, bitch!

“I just keep thinking of those better times.”

Good one.

“And wished…in a way, he was still here.”

What?!

“Yeah, I do.”

Okay, now you’ve lost it!

“I know that sounds odd.”

That’s one way of putting it!

Everyone looked at me…confused.

Now you have their attention.

“Yeah…despite everything, I already miss him.”

More quizzical stares.

You know they’re going to talk about you after this is over, don’t you?

“I don’t care.”

Oops!  Didn’t mean to say that out loud!

“Excuse me.”  I couldn’t help but notice the raised brows and twisted mouths.

Might as well keep going.

I turned to the photo beside the coffin.  “Goodbye, my friend.  I hope to see you on the other side.”

And you really mean that?

“I really mean that.”

Several people turned to look at me.  I didn’t care.  As big a pain in the ass as he was…I already miss my friend.