It’s true! Everything’s bigger in Texas!
Category Archives: Curiosities
“Big Tex” Lives!
“Big Tex” isn’t dead after all! He’s found a much more lucrative, yet less stressful job as a marquee on a South Dallas liquor store! Praise the Lord and pass the 6-pack!
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More Columbus Crap
Following up on my Columbus Day rant, I happened upon this video on Facebook, “Christian the Bible Cat’s Happy Columbus Day Celebration.” Just like Columbus Day celebrations perpetuate the myth that Columbus discovered America, this dumpy little cartoon accentuates the fallacy that the United States was built on Judeo-Christian principles. Damn! When will the madness stop?! Don’t expect much – this isn’t exactly Japanimation.
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A Record to Make Texas Proud!
The annual State Fair of Texas is known for two things: the giant “Big Tex” figure and the plethora of fried foods. Every year culinary extremists try to outdo one another by finding something to fry. Ice cream, Snickers bars, bubble gum and margaritas have all fallen victim to vats of boiling lard. (I’m not kidding! They’ve actually fried these things!) This year, however, some lunatic produced a new acid reflux – laden feast: the world’s largest Frito pie. Last week a crew from Frito-Lay combined 635 bags of chips, 660 cans of chili and 580 bags of shredded cheddar cheese to create the 1,325 pound gastronomical monstrosity. It all came together in what can only be described as a trough. Somehow, in present-day America, that actually seems appropriate.
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Full Frontal Disclosure
If you’re offended by handsome young men gyrating while wearing bathing suits – get over it! It’s just a parody!
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Ingenuity at Work
While this may have redneck written all over it, it actually looks like a pretty good idea.
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Exit Stage Right!
Bishop E.W. Jackson of Norfolk, Virginia, has called for a mass exodus of Christians and Jews from the Democratic Party. President of a group called STAND (Staying True to America’s National Destiny), Jackson apparently was incensed when the Democratic National Party initially refused to add “God” to its party platform and declare that Jerusalem is the true capital of Israel. The DNC finally relented last week, adding “God” to its formal agenda and, of course, declaring Jerusalem the capital of Israel.
But, Jackson was not impressed. “The real Democrat Party was revealed when they took God and Jerusalem out of the Platform,” he said. “They rescinded those changes only because of concern about the outcome of the election.”
I know how he feels. I get a little pissed off, too, when politicians suddenly change their minds. But, as a recovering Catholic, I’ll feel much better in the arms of the Democratic Party without all those pesky Christians and Jews!
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Proceed with Caution
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Royal Pains
If we Americans think things are tough on the economic front here, we need to consider the plight of Europe’s royal families. They’re really going through hell! I mean, I can’t imagine enduring that kind of agony. Someone light a candle because I hear a violin playing in the distance!
In England, Queen Elizabeth II has opened up parts of Buckingham Palace to tourists, raising money from admission tickets. Palace officials say they’ve met targets that called for a 25% cut in the royal budget. Even during her Diamond Jubilee celebration, Elizabeth cut her use of public funds. That also meant a pay freeze in palace staff. Fortunately, the staff has managed to keep Elizabeth’s fleet of Bentleys clean and polished for public appearances, so the news isn’t all bad.
Queen Elizabeth II
In Belgium, King Albert II pledged earlier this year to use part of his salary to pay for upkeep on his myriad properties. He wanted to freeze the €10.8 million ($13.8 million) he gets from the state. He intends to use an automatic 2012 salary inflation adjustment of some 3% – or roughly €350,000 ($446,000) – to help pay for some of that property maintenance.
King Albert II
In the Netherlands, the budget for Queen Beatrix, Crown Prince Willem Alexander and his wife, Princess Maxima, was reduced last year by €422,000 to €39.2 million. Most of that came in the form of cuts to the royal family’s private travel expenses. And, in a gesture of unbelievable austerity, the Beatrix paid €163,000 out of her own pocket for repairs on her private yacht, the Groene Draeck.
Queen Beatrix
In Spain, King Juan Carlos I has cut his own salary, as well as that of his son, Felipe, by 7%. Juan Carlos will earn only about €272,000 ($334,000), while Felipe will take home about €131,000 ($160,000). The budget for the entire Spanish royal family is also being trimmed to around 7%, or €292,625. Royal palace staffers got hit last year, when had to start flying coach.
King Juan Carlos I
The royal families of Denmark, Norway and Sweden have managed to avoid similar financial distress by living within their means. Their budgets are all in order. But, they’re still suffering apparently because the overall weakened European market means a sharp reduction in exports from the Scandinavian region.
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Chief Writing Wolf 