Royal Pains

If we Americans think things are tough on the economic front here, we need to consider the plight of Europe’s royal families.  They’re really going through hell!  I mean, I can’t imagine enduring that kind of agony.  Someone light a candle because I hear a violin playing in the distance!

In England, Queen Elizabeth II has opened up parts of Buckingham Palace to tourists, raising money from admission tickets.  Palace officials say they’ve met targets that called for a 25% cut in the royal budget.  Even during her Diamond Jubilee celebration, Elizabeth cut her use of public funds.  That also meant a pay freeze in palace staff.  Fortunately, the staff has managed to keep Elizabeth’s fleet of Bentleys clean and polished for public appearances, so the news isn’t all bad.

Queen Elizabeth II

In Belgium, King Albert II pledged earlier this year to use part of his salary to pay for upkeep on his myriad properties.  He wanted to freeze the €10.8 million ($13.8 million) he gets from the state.  He intends to use an automatic 2012 salary inflation adjustment of some 3% – or roughly €350,000 ($446,000) – to help pay for some of that property maintenance.

King Albert II

In the Netherlands, the budget for Queen Beatrix, Crown Prince Willem Alexander and his wife, Princess Maxima, was reduced last year by €422,000 to €39.2 million.  Most of that came in the form of cuts to the royal family’s private travel expenses.  And, in a gesture of unbelievable austerity, the Beatrix paid €163,000 out of her own pocket for repairs on her private yacht, the Groene Draeck.

Queen Beatrix

In Spain, King Juan Carlos I has cut his own salary, as well as that of his son, Felipe, by 7%.  Juan Carlos will earn only about €272,000 ($334,000), while Felipe will take home about €131,000 ($160,000).  The budget for the entire Spanish royal family is also being trimmed to around 7%, or €292,625.  Royal palace staffers got hit last year, when had to start flying coach.

King Juan Carlos I

The royal families of Denmark, Norway and Sweden have managed to avoid similar financial distress by living within their means.  Their budgets are all in order.  But, they’re still suffering apparently because the overall weakened European market means a sharp reduction in exports from the Scandinavian region.

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August 5, 2012 – 137 Days Until Baktun 12

For those in the Southern Hemisphere who planto leave home in your vehicle when the apocalypse hits, consider taking a portable air conditioner with you.  If you’re on foot, this would be impractical, since you should know to take shelter in a cave or cluster of trees to stay cool.  A portable air conditioner is relatively inexpensive and – as the name implies – easy to transport.  Make certain it’s battery-operated, as there probably won’t be any electrical outlets available, but also make certain it doesn’t require water to function.  Water is too precious a resource to waste on appliances, unless it’s a water purifier.  But, I’ve already covered that topic.

Some portable air conditioners have one hot air exhaust hose, while others have two hoses: one for air intake and one for hot air exhaust.

A single-hose portable air conditioner will take air from the room where it’s located, cool it and then return most of that air back into the room.  During this process, a small amount of that air will be used to cool the unit and will be subsequently blown out of the air conditioner’s exhaust hose.  This creates slightly negative pressure within the room being cooled, as a small amount of air is constantly being removed from the room.  If this negative pressure is anticipated by drawing unconditioned air into the room from adjacent spaces, then the cooling efficiency is slightly affected.

A dual-hose air conditioner pulls in air from outside a structure through one hose and utilizes that air to cool the unit.  The hot exhaust air is then expelled through the second hose.  This process doesn’t create negative pressure inside the room being cooled.  Dual-hose units use warmer, unconditioned air to cool their compressors, which results in slightly less efficiency.  They also employ two internal fans, which can mean slightly higher energy usage.

Portable air conditioners use mineral mica to function.  Mica is a valuable resource because of its chemical and thermal properties, low power loss factor and that it doesn’t need electricity to operate.  Remember, the abrupt shift in the Earth’s axes will render power and utility plants useless, so this particular feature is important.  It also means portable air conditioners aren’t prone to cause fires, even in an enclosed environment, such as a car or truck.  That will make things easier, as you struggle to search for food, water, chocolate and to keep your kids and pets from wandering away.  Air conditioning is one of humanity’s greatest inventions, next to the telephone and dental floss.  Therefore, the ability to rest somewhat comfortably in the heat ultimately will give you more strength to fight off any rap singer or celebrity athletes who survive the upheaval.

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August 5 Notable Birthdays

If today is your birthday, “Happy Birthday!”

 

NASA astronaut Neil Armstrong (command pilot of Gemini 8; performed first successful docking of two vehicles in space; commander of Apollo 11; first man to land a craft on the Moon and first man to step onto its surface) is 82.

Actor John Saxon (Carmen Orrico; Raid on Entebbe, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Beverly Hills Cop 3, The Cardinal, Death of a Gunfighter, The Unforgiven, The Bold Ones) is 77.

Actress Loni Anderson (WKRP in Cincinnati, The Jayne Mansfield Story, Easy Street, Necessity, Nurses) is 67.

Actress Erika Slezak (One Life to Live) is 66.

Singer – songwriter – music producer Rick Derringer (Zehringer; The McCoys) is 65.

Actress Maureen McCormick (The Brady Bunch) is 56.

Actor Jonathan Silverman (At First Sight, Little Big League, Weekend at Bernie’s series, Little Sister, Caddyshack 2, Brighton Beach Memoirs, Gimme a Break) is 46.

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On August 5…

1850 – Author Guy de Maupassant (The Tellier House, Yvette, Toine, The Horla, The Diamond Necklace, The Umbrella, The Piece of String, A Woman’s Life, Bel-Ami, Peter and John) was born in Dieppe, France.

1858 – The first telegraph line was successfully laid across the Atlantic Ocean.

1884 – The cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty was laid at Bedloe’s Island (now called Liberty Island), New York.  The actual statue was accepted as a gift to the United States from the people of France by U.S. President Grover Cleveland on October 28, 1886.

1914 – Euclid Avenue and East 105th Street in Cleveland, Ohio became the first intersection in the U.S. to be equipped with an electric traffic light.

1962 – Actress Marilyn Monroe was found dead from a drug overdose in Los Angeles at the age of 36.

1981 – President Ronald Reagan fired 11,359 air traffic controllers who had gone on strike over pay and work conditions.  The mass terminations slowed air travel significantly.

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Grinding

As I enter my first full month at my new contract technical writing job, I can’t help but reflect on the way things used to be in the work place.  As I fast approach 50, I find that a common occurrence.  Now, I know why my parents and former coworkers were so bitter all those years ago.  You give your life to a company and often have little to show for it – although through no fault of your own.  People in the 50 and over category have had the toughest time in this dismal economy.  Thanks to Bush’s trickle-down economics on steroids and two unplanned, unfunded wars, we’re still mired in the worst financial crises in almost 90 years.  Somehow the clowns in both houses of Congress don’t really get it.  President Obama inherited this mess and has had a rough time straightening it out.  But, he’s just one person; he can’t do it alone.  Yet, while our elected officials try to upstage one another, real Americans continue struggling.

When I landed this job last month, the recruiter was kind of surprised I didn’t react with more glee.  “I’ll believe it when I start,” I told him jokingly – but, deep down inside, not at all joking.  Last summer I landed a 90-day contract technical writing job that the client pulled after only three weeks because their vendor wasn’t producing the work as anticipated.  And, I never heard from the recruiter again.  So, I went back on unemployment and revamped my resume to make it look as good as it can with all these gaps.  Explaining those three-weeks-on-90-days mess was especially challenging.  Fortunately, most people seemed to understand, given the current economic climate.  Or, at least they give that impression.

I kept in contact with that recruiter; emailing him weekly letting him know, ‘Hey, I’m still here!  I’m still available!  I’m free!  No plans yet!’  And, I never heard from him again.  He must have set my email address to spam.  He was young, probably no more than 30.  I hope he has erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life.

I also did the obligatory 5 contacts per week to maintain my unemployment benefits.  Each time I filed a claim, I wondered when Congress would start proceedings to find out how the big banks and other financial monstrosities were able to destroy our economy in less than a decade.  Seriously!  Herbert Hoover and Andrew Mellon would be impressed.  But, Congress was more concerned about what professional baseball players were using steroids.  Kind of like how the Southern Baptist Convention is more concerned about gay marriage than real problems such as poverty and child malnutrition.

Occasionally, my parents still have bad dreams about their working days.  I don’t want to imitate that part of their lives.  I’ve only had a handful of dreams about work.  I can recall two in the months after I lost my job at an engineering company in October 2010.  In the first one, I was at corporate headquarters in San Diego with the project manager who had hired me in 2002.  The building sat right along the coast, and the entire area was on edge because a tsunami was approaching.  We only had a few more minutes before we had to evacuate to the upper levels, or try to flee inland.  But, because we had so much work to do, that project manager told me we had to remain in the building.  Besides, he said in his usual dull, nonchalant tone of voice, he would stay with me.  Then, as the sirens went off and people began marching up the stairs, he disappeared.  I looked around the suddenly vacant offices, but he was gone.  ‘Fuck him!’ I said aloud and headed up a stairwell alone.  I didn’t need his help.

In the second dream, I was back in downtown Dallas, at the regional headquarters of the federal agency where I’d worked for the better part of my career with the engineering company; laboring on a government contract.  We had a meeting with some federal officials.  I got caught up on a task and left late for the meeting.  But, I couldn’t find where everyone was.  I wondered all over the damn building, it seemed, before I ended up in the break room – tired and butt naked!  Yes, naked.  Somehow, my clothes had fallen off.  I know a lot of married people say that, when they get caught screwing around.  But, there I was – butt- ass naked in a break room with a bunch of equally tired government employees.  And, no one seemed to care.

I could get all philosophical about those two dreams and reveal exactly what I think they mean.  But, I know the inherent theme is that, in today’s business world, you’re pretty much on your own.  Human resources isn’t your friend; your boss isn’t your friend; your coworkers aren’t your friends; and your elected officials aren’t your friends.  You’re like a wild dog; just left to your own devices.

No worries.  I can handle that.  Twenty-plus years ago, people were still going to work for a company and staying there with decent pay and benefits.  That’s about the time things started to change – for better or worse is up to personal opinions.  Now, people work contract and buy their own insurance.  They move from job to job.  They take care of and keep to themselves.  It’s ironic in that it’s how this country was built – people minding their own business and not expecting others to care for them.

No worries.  I can handle that, too.  And, run from a tsunami just as well!

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August 4 Notable Birthdays

If today is your birthday, “Happy Birthday!”

 

Actor – comedian Richard Belzer (Mad Dog and Glory, Homicide: Life on the Street, The Big Picture, The Groove Tube) is 68.

Actor Kristoffer Tabori (Christopher Donald Siegel; Chicago Story, Seventh Avenue) is 60.

Actor – director – screenwriter Billy Bob Thornton (One False Move, Tombstone, On Deadly Ground, Primary Colors, Armageddon, Pushing Tin, Franky Goes to Hollywood) is 57.

President Barack Obama is 51.

Actress Lauren Tom (The Joy Luck Club, When a Man Loves a Woman, Grace Under Fire, DAG, Max Steel) is 51.

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On August 4…

1792 – Poet Percy Bysshe Shelley (Prometheus Unbound, Epipsychidion, The Witch of Atlas, Hellas, Adonais, A Defence of Poetry, Ode to the West Wind) was born in Sussex, England.

1821 – The Saturday Evening Post was published as a weekly for the first time.

1927 – Radio station 2XAG, later named WGY, the General Electric station in Schenectady, NY, began experimental operations from a 100,000-watt transmitter.

1964 – The bodies of 3 missing civil rights workers were found buried in an earthen dam near Philadelphia, Mississippi.  Michael Schwerner, Andrew Goodman and James Chaney had been missing since June 21.

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Cartoon of the Day

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Quote of the Day

“This is the most important election since 1860.  The future of American depends on what God’s people do.  If America dies, it will be from self-inflicted wounds.”

– Richard Land, president of the Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, during Glenn Beck’s three-day Restoring Love event in Arlington, Texas.

Now, we know what happened to at least one of the writers from As the World Turns.

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Where Have All the Chest Hairs Gone?

The Chief in a moment of self-adulation, c. 2006.

The Chief in a moment of self-adulation, c. 2006.

While taking classes at a community college several years ago, I met a guy who – when asked why he had such a smooth chest – would respond that “hair doesn’t grow on steel.”  In their youth, every male can hardly wait for at least two things: facial hair and chest hair.  It’s a man thing, so you ladies just have to shrug and roll your eyes.  But, in looking at shirtless men on television, in the movies and on fitness magazine covers, you’d think a chest made of steel is the norm.  It’s as if that part of the Y chromosome didn’t quite take hold when they reached puberty.  I mean, seriously!  What’s that all about?

Admittedly, not all men are hirsute.  But, it’s just one of the many attributes of the human male species – along with a unibrow, a fetish for cars and constantly reaching for a ruler when he gets an erection.  (This latter fact is something no man would confess to publicly.)  So, this trend of men with clean-slate torsos is confounding.

I know that most male bodybuilders shave or wax their physiques to enhance the lines in their muscles, especially their chests and stomachs.  I suppose the hair wouldn’t mix well with the baby oil and spray-on tan mist.  But, even some male strippers wipe their torsos clean.  Check out the latest Matthew McConaughey movie, Magic Mike, and you’ll see.

Matthew McConaughey

It wasn’t always that way.  Even as recently as the 1980’s, men on TV and in the movies still had chest hair.  But then, came the 1990’s and a growing antagonism towards anything and everything male.  We can thank the likes of Geraldo Rivera and Bill “Puff Daddy” Clinton for that.  Suddenly actors and male models were shoved through the pre-pubescent car wash where their bodies were rendered as close to looking female without being castrated.  If it wasn’t for their deep voices, you’d think these guys still ride bikes with training wheels.  The American male has been feminized to the point of androgynous stupidity.

From the Spring 1977 JC Penney Catalogue

I recall reading an Ann Landers column where a woman stated that she made her husband shave his body because she didn’t find it attractive – and the poor sap apparently felt desperate enough to do it!  The letter writer was now worried that he’d start letting it grow back because their young son might ask him questions about it.  Landers – an older version of Gloria Allred, but not as bitchy – told her just to explain gently to her son that his father shaved his body because he loved her.  I thought the man should just tell his wife to fuck off, grow the chest hair back, grab his son and leave her ass.  It’s interesting that women don’t like men telling them what to do with their bodies, yet somehow, many feel they have that prerogative when things are turned around.

1970’s Winston Cigarette Ad

I find it equally curious to note that, among gay men, body hair is not just appreciated, it’s celebrated.  Here, political correctness is tossed into the trash like a used Trojan, and Gloria Allred’s face forms the backdrop of a dart board.  I think it’s this crowd that made shaved heads and goatees fashionable.  Just don’t tell that to the NFL!  But for once, I’d still like to see a hairy-chested male on TV who isn’t a child molester or a serial killer.  In other words, I’d like to see an adult male who looks a little like me and not a store mannequin – steel-plated chest and all!

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