April 23, 2012 – 241 days Until Baktun 12

Survivalist Tip:  Yesterday’s “Earth Day” celebrations reminded me of the need to recycle and compost certain materials.  But, equally important is what to do with trash you can’t recycle or compost, such as used napkins, 8-track tape players or politicians.  Dealing with trash is as old humanity itself.  Eons ago, of course, when the Earth wasn’t so crowded, people just tossed their trash aside.  Now, because religious practices demand people procreate like rabbits on Viagra (and those same people don’t realize how stupid that is), there are millions upon millions of us on Earth.  More advanced ancient societies, like the Mayans and the Romans, dealt with their refuse in practical, constructive ways.  Both had complex sewer systems, for example, made with and covered by stones.

Whether you plan to stay at home or head out on foot when the apocalypse hits, you need to be conscious of the trash you generate and leave behind.  Here are just some examples.

  1. Hopefully, you won’t have any leftover food, since that would be wasteful, and the Mayan deities will frown upon you.  If by chance you do, try to use it as compost or fertilizer.  Orange rinds and apple cores are particularly suited for this type of disposal.
  2. Baby wipe containers can be used to store and organize things like pens, knives and .45 bullets.
  3. Plastic bags can be used to pick up dog waste; toss whatever food you don’t eat into one and stuff it in the freezer; wrap one around the head of the most uncooperative member of your crew.
  4. Glass bottles and jars can be used to store water or other beverages for emergencies, or as defense weapons.
  5. Metal cans could be used in pretty much the same way as glass bottles and jars.  But, they can also be used to scoop up water from a creek, or as a substitute for a shovel if you have to kill a bitchy in-law.
  6. Plastic milk jugs can also be used for holding water and other beverages, but also to keep Xanax and chocolate pieces.
  7. Cardboard like that from cereal or cracker boxes can be used as kindling, or for a last will and testament.
  8. Fabric softener sheets can be used as air fresheners in your clothes drawers, or as last resort toilet paper.
  9. Foil can be reused in baking, or to blind vultures circling above your camp site.
  10. Newspapers can be used as fire kindling, or to wrap up whatever items you can’t recycle before burying deep underground.  (Note: this won’t work with relatives.)

Everyone has to be conscious of the trash they create.  Do what you can to preserve the Earth in the “New Universe.”  Otherwise, the Mayan gods will see to it you get buried with those bitchy in-laws.

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Today’s Notable Birthdays

If your birthday is today, “Happy Birthday!”

 

Shirley Temple Black, child actress and U.S. delegate to the United Nations, is 84.

 

Actor Alan Oppenheimer (Murphy Brown, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Legend of Prince Valiant) is 82.

 

Actor David Birney (St. Elsewhere, Bridget Loves Bernie) is 73.

 

Actor Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man, Big Valley) is 73.

 

Actress Joyce DeWitt (Three’s Company) is 63.

 

Drummer – singer – record producer Narada Michael Walden is 60.

 

Actress Jan Hooks (Designing Women, Saturday Night Live, The Martin Short Show) is 55.

 

Actress Valerie Bertinelli (One Day at a Time, Silent Witness, Ordinary Heroes) is 52.

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On April 23…

1564 – Poet and playwright William Shakespeare was born in Stratford-upon-Avon, England.  He allegedly died on the same day 52 years later.

 

1791 – James Buchanan, 15th President of the United States, was born in Franklin County, PA.

 

1872 – Charlotte E. Ray became the first black woman lawyer in ceremonies held in Washington, D.C.

1891 – Pianist – composer Sergei Prokofiev (Peter and the Wolf, The Love for Three Oranges, The Fiery Angel, War and Peace) was born in Krasne, Ukraine.

 

1969 – Sirhan Sirhan was sentenced to death for assassinating Sen. Robert F. Kennedy the year before.

1985 – Coca-Cola announced it was changing its 99-year-old secret formula.  “New Coke” was called “the most significant soft drink development” in the company’s history.  But, original Coke fans weren’t enthusiastic and just didn’t buy the new Coke.  It turned out to be one of the biggest corporate flops ever.

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Cartoon of the Day

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Picture of the Day

Dusk falls on Iceland’s Snæfellsnes Peninsula.  A final relic from the world’s last ice age, this North Atlantic island nation is a world of knife-cut valleys, gargantuan fjords, monumental cliffs, black-sand beaches, thundering waterfalls and silent glaciers.  Volcanic eruptions remind its residents that Iceland is still a country in the making, with changed landscapes that even Icelanders continue to discover.  Photograph by Johnathan A. Esper, Getty Images.

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E-mail of the Day

“Fellow Conservative, With only a short time before the June 5th recall election, the mudslinging from the Left has begun.  Big-government union bosses and Washington insider special interests have started pouring money into Wisconsin in an attempt to push me out of office and reclaim their stranglehold on Wisconsin’s tax dollars.  A win on June 5th will be a referendum on those trying to stifle the voice of the people and hand power back to the big-government public union bosses that want nothing more than complete control of a state’s budget.  We must defeat this baseless recall.  We must defeat the liberal left that is trying to silence the majority of hard working taxpayers and further raid their wallets to keep their bloated bureaucracies afloat.” 

– Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker in an email to supporters asking help to stop recall efforts.

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Second Quote of the Day

“He’s like a bad TV sitcom that’s just run too long.”

Glenn Smith, a Democratic operative who was an adviser to Gov. Ann Richards, on the speculation that Gov. Rick Perry is laying the groundwork to run for another term as Texas governor.

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First Quote of the Day

“These principles represent a vow to the people of Texas, a pledge that each and every member of our Legislature – or anyone aspiring to become a member of our Legislature – should sign on to.”

Gov. Rick Perry, announcing his no-new-taxes, limited-spending “Texas Budget Compact.”

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Why Clichés About Translations Hurt Books

Back in February, I wrote about the challenge of translating German-language literature into English.  There are a couple of reasons why foreign language literature has to be treated with caution: translating something doesn’t necessarily mean success in the receiving market, and not every colloquialism and verbal nuance translates perfectly.  It’s bad enough some Americans are too arrogant to even attempt to learn a foreign language, and that only about 3% of foreign language books are translated into English for their convenience.  But, there seems to be a general belief among average readers that a book translated into their native language must be worth the effort since it takes a great deal of time and energy to complete the translation.  Journalist Michael Stein dubs this “literary broccoli.”  Yes, broccoli may be good for you, but not everyone wants it, much less likes it.

Stein divides the clichés about translations into 2 groups:

1. It’s always good for you.

He mentions a debate that arose last year among New York Times film critics (so you know it was serious) about the “merits of watching long, self-styled art films.”  One critic supposedly affirmed that he was no longer willing to eat his “cultural vegetables.”  I feel this is in line with the claim by some that foreign-language or art house movies are always good because they have some underlying message of Earth-shattering significance.  The same, therefore, can be applied to literature.  As with cinema, why can’t we just read a book – even if it’s a translation – just for the fun of it?  Why does a warning for all humanity have to lie within its pages to be worth the time?  Surely, African and Latin American writers, for example, don’t all bemoan the plight of their respective war-torn nations and loathe their European colonial pasts.  Doesn’t Nigeria or Uruguay have a Maeve Binchy or Anne Rice in their midst?  Stein points to the works of William Shakespeare and how his dramas “take on the effect of tranquilizers in the mouths of uninspired high school teachers.”  I can vouch for that phenomenon. 

2. Reading a translated work is one way of experiencing another country.

This is like saying that watching a Mexican telenovela is the best way to learn all about México’s culture.  Stein highlights the late Swedish writer Stieg Larsson whose Millennium series have turned into literal blockbusters, both in book and movie form.  If you’ve visited Sweden, were you “attacked by rightwing lunatics and tortured?  Did you get caught up in tangled, historical conspiracies and eat immense amounts of fast food while sitting on IKEA furniture?”  If you did, then you have your own true-life story to tell and could become even more famous.  You can’t learn everything about another culture just by reading a travel brochure or watching the National Geographic Channel, although no one will blame you for trying.  Ernest Hemingway, for example, wrote about foreign places because he lived there and understood the local cultures.  That’s why writing instructors advise people to write only what they know.  Although California is on my list of places to visit before I die, and I have friends who live out there, I wouldn’t dare to write a novel based in the Golden State because I’m not personally familiar with it.  Don’t look at a novel as emblematic of the location where it takes place.  It’s one thing not to visit México because of U.S. State Department travel advisories.  It’s another not to visit because you learned everything about the place from watching “Born in East L.A.”

Reading a foreign novel is one way to become familiar with another culture, which in turn, is a good thing.  People – Americans in particular – need to realize there’s a whole wide world of extraordinary individuals out there.  We all can learn from meeting new people and experiencing different cultures.  Whether a novel is about internal political strife, or a wedding gone awry, I think we’ll all find that people across the globe have much in common.

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April 22, 2012 – 242 days Until Baktun 12

Survivalist Tip:  Since today is Earth Day, I wanted to remind everyone that the ancient Mayans and other indigenous peoples of the Americas considered their environment sacred.  Most Indian nations believed in a “Mother Earth” and “Father Sun” type of ideology; that is, humanity was born of a union between the Earth and the Sun.  And, therefore, Native Americans respected and honored them as their parents.  It’s a great philosophy to have and practice each day.  So, as this Earth Day comes to a close, just remember how our ancestors revered the natural elements of their world.  It’ll be good for you – the Mayan deities won’t sling you into the muddy underworld come the apocalypse!

 

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