Chief Writing Wolf

Survivalist Tip:  Yesterday I mentioned the need to maintain the integrity of your vehicle’s battery, even if hope to remain at home during the apocalypse.  But, as a precaution, you also need to have a set of jumper cables on hand.  This assumes, of course, that your vehicle’s battery malfunctions and that another vehicle is nearby.  For the latter, you’ll have to rely upon someone else, such as a friendly neighbor, or a noble stranger.  If you’re lucky, you might encounter an abandoned, but still fully-functioning vehicle during your flight to safety.  All of these scenarios, however, go against the basic creed of survivalism, which is that you depend upon yourself instead of someone else or a government agency.  That can be easily resolved with a battery-operated generator, which I also previously mentioned should be a tool in your gallery of supplies.  Carting such a heavy object along as you evacuate may seem impractical.  But, considering the outrageous alternative scenario: you’ll stumble upon a kindly IRS agent. 

1. You have to familiarize yourself with the positive and negative terminals of the vehicle battery.  This shouldn’t be too difficult, since they’re plainly marked with a + (for positive) and a – (for negative). 
2. If you have to jump-start the battery, clean off any corrosion around the terminals. 
3. Familiarize yourself with the jumper cables themselves.  Usually, the positive cable is red or orange, and the negative one is black. 
4. Connect one end of the positive cable to the dead battery and the other end to the good battery, or better yet, your generator. 
5. Connect one end of the negative cable to the good battery, or the generator, but connect the other end to a metal part of the engine on your vehicle.  Do NOT connect this other end of the negative cable to the dead battery, or it could explode.  And, with all the drama you’ll have to endure from the screaming members of your posse, you don’t need to add to it.  Actually, any metal object will do, such as a metal railing, or a prosthetic leg.  On this step, you’ll generate a normal spark, as you connect to the ground and complete the circuit. 
6. Start the other vehicle, or the generator. 
7. Turn the ignition on your vehicle, while pumping the gas pedal slowly.  At this point, if all turns out well, your vehicle’s engine will come back to life.

Keep in mind this is a worst case scenario.  You have to make certain your vehicle’s battery is in good functioning order in the first place because the last thing you want to do in the chaos of the upheaval is hope someone will help you out.  The Mayan gods don’t look kindly upon people who are too stupid to prepare for things.