Tag Archives: Black Friday

Malicious Mesquite Mall Melee

Here’s yet another reason why “Black Friday” shopping is for the mentally-impaired.  A fight broke out at Town East Mall in Mesquite, Texas this morning.  What some people thought was a gunshot was actually a trash can slamming into the floor.  Stores need to invest in Xanax dispensers.  In fact, I think I just found a great business idea: I’ll drive down to México in mid-November and purchase as much Xanax as I possibly can; then, sell it to people waiting in line for “Black Friday” deals.  Oh my God!  I think I can pay off my student loans in a day!

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Black Friday Ops

I once worked with a woman who was excited at the thought of waking early on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving and going to Wal-Mart.  I told her she needed psychiatric help and lit a candle for her salvation when I got home that evening.

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