Tag Archives: stupidity

From the ‘Only in Texas’ Files – January 15, 2022

Hey, did you hear the story about the teacher who dumped her sick kid into the trunk of her car so she wouldn’t get infected?

This is true!  And it could only happen in Texas!  Sandra Beam is facing child endangerment charges for placing her 13-year-old son in the trunk of her car, after he tested positive for COVID-19.  Her reasoning?  She didn’t want to get infected herself!

Her decision prompted her suspension from the Cypress-Fairbanks school district and a felony charge of child endangerment.  She was jailed, but managed to post a USD 1,500 bond.  As of now, it’s not known whether or not she has an attorney.

The 41-year-old teacher is highly-regarded among her peers and has received a slew of support from the community where she has been described as kind and genuine.  Think about it though: the witch placed her own son into the trunk of her car so she wouldn’t get sick.

Here’s a bright idea: WHERE A MASK!

Here’s another bright idea: as punishment, dump home-girl into the trunk of that same car with a bottle of water and a cell phone and park it by a sewage plant for 12 hours.

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Worst Quote of the Week – April 3, 2020

“I think we have a responsibility to our students – who paid to be here, who want to be here, who love it here – to give them the ability to be with their friends, to continue their studies, enjoy the room and board they’ve already paid for and to not interrupt their college life.”

Jerry Falwell, Jr., on why he kept Liberty University open, despite the COVID-19 crisis.

As some 5,000 students returned from spring break, Falwell defied the national trend of closing campuses and ordered faculty to return to their offices, even as classes moved to online forums.  Within a week, COVID-19 began showing up among some Liberty students.  In some way, I really don’t have much sympathy for anyone at Liberty.  It’s founder, the late Jerry Falwell, Sr., was one of the worst bigots this country ever produced.  After the 9/11 catastrophe, for example, he blamed the usual cadre of un-wantables: feminists, gays, environmentalists, etc.  He was also among the gang of right-wing assholes who declared that AIDS came directly from the “Hand of God.”  At one time, many years ago, Liberty would not allow interracial “dating” and access to handicapped individuals.  They may have changed their stance on those matters, but their early 1900s, Neanderthal-style reputation speaks for their ignorance.

I keep thinking, if people like those at Liberty refuse to accept the dire warnings associated with the COVID-19 scare and end up getting sick and dying, that’s fine with me.  The fewer morons among us, the better!  As we say in Texas, ‘You can’t fix stupid.’

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As Advertised

Here’s a quiz about possible news headlines:

‘Pigs fly.’

‘August snowstorm hits the American South.’

‘Contraband include items marked ‘Bag Full of Drugs’.’

‘Donald Trump admits he’s not qualified to be president.’

Guess which one of these is real.

I almost know what you’re thinking: it’s the pigs, right?

Wrong!

Law enforcement officials have one of the toughest jobs in the world – especially in the U.S. and especially in Florida.  (Florida has become legendary for its plethora of criminal oddities.)  But a routine traffic stop on February 1 turned into an unexpected bonanza, when a police dog alerted his handler to the possible presence of drugs in the car.  A quick search yielded – hold your breath – 2 small bags marked…‘Bag Full of Drugs’.

If I had read this online, I would have checked the source more than a few times.  But it’s for real.  Inside the bags, police found 75 grams (2.6 ounces) of methamphetamine, more than a kilogram (2.2 pounds) of the date-rape drug GHB, 3.6 grams (0.12 ounces) of fentanyl, plus ecstasy, cocaine and assorted paraphernalia.

The Drug Enforcement Agency could only have dreamed of this good fortune with “El Chapo” Guzman!

And I wish I was making this up because it would prove just how twisted The Chief’s mentality can be on the day before the Saturday after Valentine’s Day!  As if you, dear readers, need anymore proof!

The moral of the story?  Hell if I know!  That’s why I’m telling this story to you people!

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