Category Archives: News

No, It’s the Damn Evolutionists!

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“We get all up in arms about 20 children being shot in a day care but we don’t give one good-glory rip about the 4,000 that were removed violently from the wombs of their mothers [in abortion procedures] the same day.  I believe they use children and Christmas and all that to pull on our heart strings about gun control.  That’s what it’s all about.”

– Pastor Sam Morris, of Old Paths Baptist Church in Fayetteville, Tennessee, about the Connecticut massacre.

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It’s the Damn Queers and Abortionists, I Tell You!

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“Our country really does seem in complete disarray.  I’m not talking politically, I’m not talking about the result of the November 6th election.  I am saying that something has gone wrong in America and that we have turned our back on God.  I mean millions of people have decided that God doesn’t exist, or he’s irrelevant to me and we have killed fifty-four million babies and the institution of marriage is right on the verge of a complete redefinition.  Believe me, that is going to have consequences too.  And a lot of these things are happening around us, and somebody is going to get mad at me for saying what I am about to say right now, but I am going to give you my honest opinion: I think we have turned our back on the Scripture and on God Almighty and I think he has allowed judgment to fall upon us.  I think that’s what’s going on.”

– James Dobson, founder of the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, opining on the Connecticut school shootings.

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Finish that Spelling Test, or I’ll Shoot Your Ass!

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“You should be able to carry your weapon anywhere in this state.”

– Texas Governor Rick Perry, speaking at a Northeast Tarrant County Tea Party meeting Monday night, the 17th, adding that even teachers and school administrators should be allowed to carry guns in schools, which drew loud applause from the crowd.  He made the comment in response to a question about the Connecticut school shootings.  To his credit, Perry urged all Texas school districts to review their emergency response plans and emphasized that lawmakers should “consider mental health issues” to make schools safer.

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After the Carnage

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December 17, 2012 · 10:33 PM

Free Speech – Not Free Guns!

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“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

– 1st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

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December 17, 2012 · 8:13 PM

Kirk Cameron’s Guide to Manhood

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Still trying to stay relevant in post-1980s America, former child star-turned-religious zealot Kirk Cameron has produced a comprehensive guide to helping boys become proper men.  This might mean proselytizing about creationism and how women were made from Adam’s rib (e.g. a cheaper cut).

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Westboro Scumbags to Picket Sandy Hook

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Adding egregious insults to the devastation in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, the assholes from the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas announced they will stage a protest this week during a vigil or victims of the massacre.  You know, guns can be used to shoot adults, too.

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It Accepts Debit Cards and Gold Doubloons, Too

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And, the best part is that you don’t have to think before you buy!

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More Great Testicular-Based Rape Advice

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“I’m not a gynecologist, but I can tell you something: If someone doesn’t want to have sexual intercourse, the body shuts down.  The body will not permit that to happen unless a lot of damage is inflicted, and we heard nothing about that in this case.”

– California Superior Court Judge Derek Johnson, after saying that a sexual assault victim “didn’t put up a fight.”

There’s nothing like an asshole wrapped up in the robes of a judge to make you question the validity of our judicial system.  Fortunately, the California Commission on Judicial Performance has voted 10 – 0 to admonish Johnson publicly.

Hey, has anyone else noticed people who preside over courtrooms and satanic masses both wear black robes?

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Separatist Dilemma

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December 15, 2012 · 9:13 PM