Tag Archives: apocalypse 2012

Survivalist Tip: I mentioned previously that you should consider adding rope to your arsenal of survivalist supplies.  But, another type of rigging called paracord can be equally essential.  Also known as parachute cord or 550 cord, paracord is a lightweight nylon rope originally used in the suspension lines of parachutes for the U.S. military during World War II.  Once in the field, however, paratroopers found it useful for many other tasks, such as carrying supplies and strangling the enemy.  Obviously then, it could serve the same purpose in the midst of the chaos during the upheaval on and after December 21.

Paracord has a braided sheath with a high number of interwoven strands, which give it a smooth texture while keeping it fairly elastic.  This allows it to be used as lanyards, belts, dog leashes, kid leashes, whips and key chains.  I have to say, however, if you utilize paracord as belt material, you probably won’t survive the apocalypse anyway.  But, it will be especially useful for those who plan to head out on foot.  Hikers and various outdoor enthusiasts already make use of it.  Even some makers of xylophones and marimbas utilize paracord because of its percussion viability.  And, if it was good enough to strangle Nazis, it’s good enough to strangle people trying to steal your chocolate.

Survivalist Tip: I mentioned in a previous post that you should have hurricane lamps available in the aftermath of the apocalyptic upheaval.  But, you’ll definitely need flashlights, too.  Flashlights have been around for over a century and rank just below air conditioning and telephones as one of the greatest inventions of the past 200 hundred years.  Flashlights, of course, are battery-powered; an essential feature, considering that utility companies will be rendered useless for some time.  A flashlight, therefore, is critical as an alternative light source.  It will help you search for food in the darkness, or surprise a member of your posse as they try to purloin more than their share of chocolate.  Make certain you have more than just one flashlight on hand, along with an ample supply of batteries.  We don’t know how long power companies will be out of commission.  Besides, flashlights aren’t just for illumination; they also make great defense weapons.

As Tropical Storm Isaac bears down on the United States’ Gulf Coast region, I want to remind everyone to compose a comprehensive storm preparation list, especially for those living in coastal areas.  People who have lived through various tropical and arctic storms know very well that these things are unpredictable.  They don’t take anything for granted, but they’re always prepared for the worst.  The U.S. National Hurricane Center advises people to keep the names and phone numbers of various local government agencies, hospitals, police stations and insurance companies.  But, in the New Baktun, government as we know it will be rendered ineffective and therefore, insignificant.  Please review the essential items I’ve posted throughout this section – such as rain gear, bottled water and chocolate – and add whatever you feel is appropriate for your situation.  Remember, the ancient Mayans are the ones who first charted and named tropical storm systems.  Besides, a good survivalist holds no national allegiance in a crisis, but they always know what the hell they’re doing.

In light of recent comments made by elected officials here in the United States, I want to remind everyone to stockpile as many weapons as you can – guns, rifles, knives, meat cleavers, etc. – in preparation for the apocalypse.  This is in case any politicians should survive the upheaval.  Of course, don’t do anything now!  Wait until after December 21, 2012.  Considering that most political figures are too arrogant to prepare for such a catastrophe, there’s not a good chance many of them will make it, especially here in the U.S.  But, you can never be too sure.         

Earlier this year I mentioned hydrogen peroxide and iodine, but I wanted to expand upon antiseptics altogether.  Among your medical supplies you must have sufficient quantities of an antiseptic.  An antiseptic is a substance that inhibits the growth and development of microorganisms.  They’re topical agents, meaning you apply them to skin or mucous membranes, such as the nasal interior.

There are several different types of antiseptics.

Benzalkonium chloride and hexachlorophine are used primarily as hand scrubs or face washes.  Benzalkonium also can act as a disinfecting agent for instruments, such as knives.

Chlorhexidine has a high margin of safety when applied to mucous membranes and has been used in oral rinses and preoperative body washes.

Hydrogen peroxide utilizes oxygen gas.  Although its antibacterial activity is relatively weak, the liberation of oxygen bubbles produces an effervescent action, which is useful for wound cleansing through the removal of tissue debris.  The activity of hydrogen peroxide may be reduced by the presence of blood and pus.  The standard concentration of hydrogen peroxide for antiseptic use is 3%, although higher concentrations are available.

Iodine includes tincture of iodine and povidone iodine compounds.  Iodine has the broadest spectrum of topical antiseptics; they’re effective against bacteria, fungi, viruses, spores, protozoa and yeasts.  Iodine tincture is highly effective, but its alcoholic component is drying and extremely irritating when applied to skin that’s been scraped or rubbed.  Povidone iodine is less irritating and less toxic, but not as effective.  Povidone iodine also has been used for hand scrubs and disinfection of surgical sites.

Thimerosol (or Mersol) is a mercury-based compound that’s effective against bacteria and yeasts.  Prolonged use may result in mercury toxicity.

With chaos surrounding you and the possibility of dead bodies piling up in your neighborhood, deadly microbes will have free reign.  And, I’m not talking about those that cause body odor or gingivitis; although those are bad enough.  Antiseptics will help you deal with the annoyance of cuts and scrapes your hands and arms could get from carving up fish, gathering firewood, or digging holes to bury the bodies of neighbors who whine too loud about not having prepared for the apocalypse.

For those in the Southern Hemisphere who planto leave home in your vehicle when the apocalypse hits, consider taking a portable air conditioner with you.  If you’re on foot, this would be impractical, since you should know to take shelter in a cave or cluster of trees to stay cool.  A portable air conditioner is relatively inexpensive and – as the name implies – easy to transport.  Make certain it’s battery-operated, as there probably won’t be any electrical outlets available, but also make certain it doesn’t require water to function.  Water is too precious a resource to waste on appliances, unless it’s a water purifier.  But, I’ve already covered that topic.

Some portable air conditioners have one hot air exhaust hose, while others have two hoses: one for air intake and one for hot air exhaust.

A single-hose portable air conditioner will take air from the room where it’s located, cool it and then return most of that air back into the room.  During this process, a small amount of that air will be used to cool the unit and will be subsequently blown out of the air conditioner’s exhaust hose.  This creates slightly negative pressure within the room being cooled, as a small amount of air is constantly being removed from the room.  If this negative pressure is anticipated by drawing unconditioned air into the room from adjacent spaces, then the cooling efficiency is slightly affected.

A dual-hose air conditioner pulls in air from outside a structure through one hose and utilizes that air to cool the unit.  The hot exhaust air is then expelled through the second hose.  This process doesn’t create negative pressure inside the room being cooled.  Dual-hose units use warmer, unconditioned air to cool their compressors, which results in slightly less efficiency.  They also employ two internal fans, which can mean slightly higher energy usage.

Portable air conditioners use mineral mica to function.  Mica is a valuable resource because of its chemical and thermal properties, low power loss factor and that it doesn’t need electricity to operate.  Remember, the abrupt shift in the Earth’s axes will render power and utility plants useless, so this particular feature is important.  It also means portable air conditioners aren’t prone to cause fires, even in an enclosed environment, such as a car or truck.  That will make things easier, as you struggle to search for food, water, chocolate and to keep your kids and pets from wandering away.  Air conditioning is one of humanity’s greatest inventions, next to the telephone and dental floss.  Therefore, the ability to rest somewhat comfortably in the heat ultimately will give you more strength to fight off any rap singer or celebrity athletes who survive the upheaval.

For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere planning to leave home in your vehicle, when the apocalypse hits, consider taking a portable heater with you.  If you’re on foot, this would be impractical, since you should learn how to build a fire with tree branches.  A portable heater is relatively inexpensive and – as the name implies – easy to transport.  Make certain it’s battery-operated, as there probably won’t be any electrical outlets available.

Portable heaters use mineral mica as the central element to function.  Mica is invaluable in the electrical industry because of its chemical and thermal properties, low power loss factor and dielectric strength; meaning it doesn’t need electricity to operate.  Remember, the abrupt shift in the Earth’s axes will render power and utility plants useless, so this particular feature is critical.  This also means portable heaters aren’t prone to cause fires, even in an enclosed environment, such as an RV.  That will give you peace of mind, as you struggle to search for food, water, chocolate and to keep your kids from wandering off.  You also won’t have to worry about gathering firewood, which will give you more strength to fend off zombies and any politicians that might survive the upheaval.

I mentioned previously that you should have a water purifier and a generator in your home, as when the apocalypse hits, the electrical grid will most likely collapse.  But, I also recommend getting a battery-operated air purifier.  With the abrupt switch in the Earth’s axes, dirt, pollens and other crap will be hurtled into the air and ultimately pose a threat to everyone’s respiratory systems.  Cleaning up the air within your home will help to prevent such easily-transmittable ailments as tuberculosis, measles, influenza and gingivitis.  It’s a somewhat expensive investment, but critical to your survival.  Besides, an air purifier will help eliminate bad odors from decaying bodies and anyone in the house who suddenly develops gas problems.

Friendships are among the most important commodities in a crisis situation.  Close friends are like chocolate and pets: comforting, soothing and non-judgmental.  Really good friends are with you during the best moments of your life, but also during the worst moments.  It’s pertinent, therefore, to develop and / or retain close friendships.  If you have to evacuate your home during the upheaval, a close friend will take you into their place.  If your close friends are also your neighbors, you can help each other take care of the community; guarding it against looters, zombies and any hip-hop artists who might survive.  In the chaos of the aftermath, there are few better people to have around than a close friend who understands your problems; will care for you if you’re injured; can help you protect your family and pets and won’t criticize you if you have to kill an uncooperative member of your posse.  Besides, a really good friend won’t eat all your chocolate!

I mentioned previously that you should keep pictures of your parents, or parental figures, as you head into the next Baktun.  But, you also should retain some mementoes of all deceased relatives or loved ones – whether they’re photographs, pieces of clothing, or locks of hair.  I emphasize deceased because it’s appropriate to honor the dead, especially those who were close to you.  The Mayan people have a long history of showing respect for their ancestors, but those people you once knew and have since passed away form a significant part of your life.  It’s from these people – relatives and close friends – that you learned some of life’s most valuable lessons, such as being kind to those in need; looking out for the most vulnerable in your community; and beating the crap out of those who try to steal your chocolate, while making it look like they had a bad accident.  Anyone who didn’t learn from those around them will not survive the apocalypse, which would actually be a good thing.  There’s only so much compassion.  Giving reverence to those who’ve gone before you often has mystical connotations, which is so Christian or Jewish.  Among the Mayans and other Indigenous Americans, it’s simply a factor of life.  Maintaining this level of respect will ensure a successful life for you and your family once you enter the next Baktun.  And, you can enjoy all the chocolate and freedom that life has to offer.