Age has its ramifications. Earlier today, as I left a store and approached my truck, I tripped on a dead cockroach – the summer Texas is merciless on all of God’ creatures – and slammed head-on into the front of my vehicle. It’s a sturdy, high-level 2006 Dodge Ram. So the damn thing hurt!
A young man rushed over and asked if I was okay.
“Sure”, I told him. “Not baaaaad.”
Filed under Wolf Tales
A close friend of mine came down from Wichita Falls, Texas the other day to spend a few days with me. He brought his new companion: a chocolate brown Chihuahua named Cocoa. Like most small dogs, Cocoa is delectably adorable and innately vicious. Little dogs have always reminded me of little women: small, cute and surprisingly mean. I should know! One of them gave birth to me!
Last night, as Robert and I watched TV, Cocoa curled up in her bed on the floor nearby and – after a while – I could hear her scrounging around. I had noticed she had been chewing on one of her back legs and, concerned for her welfare, peeked over the coffee table – to see her curled up quietly.
I then realized Robert had set down his phone and had his leg hiked up over his head and – and, you know, even as a 50-something-bisexual-recovering alcoholic writer, there are some things I can go my entire life without seeing!
Filed under Wolf Tales
Cop: Do you have any weapons in the house?
Me: You’re looking at him.
Filed under Wolf Tales
What do you call an Einstein donkey perched atop a grassy mound?
A smart ass.
Filed under Wolf Tales
Age is purely mind over matter. If you don’t mind – who gives a shit!
Filed under Wolf Tales
Reading bedtime stories to my aloe vera plant, Paco, is incredibly relaxing and soothing – well, at least for me. And I know what you’re thinking. (Remember, the Chief is cyber-psychic. Who in the hell would name a plant Paco? I mean…that’s so Mexican! Okay, aside from me, Paco is the only other living being inside my house! Even introverts must find a sense of humanity!
“Ghosts” by Marvin Kaye
Filed under Wolf Tales
I always try to practice safe sex – even though I’m usually the only one in the room – but cautious carnality in the midst of a global pandemic hasn’t turned out like I’d hoped.
Filed under Wolf Tales
Taking out some pesky ants is always a great inconvenience. But I don’t particularly like the aroma of insecticide wafting through my house, especially my kitchen, so I had to take a more drastic measure.
Gosh…I guess I should have thought of sledgehammer repercussions.
Filed under Wolf Tales
Counting ice cubes is a good way to pass the time.
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much
tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!
Filed under Wolf Tales
Chief Writing Wolf 