Tag Archives: humanity

Okay, Bye!

Oh, what the hell!  It’s Tuesday afternoon, I have less than an hour on my work clock, and I went to bed before 7 p.m. yesterday.  Why not have some red wine!  My daily commute is about 20 feet (6.1 meters); that is, from the bed to my work laptop in a neighboring room.  That includes a necessary detour to the bathroom.  I try not to look at myself in the bathroom mirror – or any other mirror in the house.  I no longer look like a Greek/Italian/Mexican studburger who rode in on a black stallion.  I kind of look like the dirty old man parents warn their kids about.  Oh well.  I’ve had my fun.

Ever think deeply, while standing alone, and wonder if your body has suddenly decided it wants to lead a life of its own?  Well…I’ve come to the cold, brutal realization that mine has.  And I’m like, ‘Bye bitch!’  Don’t let me hold you back!

‘It’s hell getting old!’ my parents always said.  I’m starting to feel the anxiety.  I watched them struggle with the various pains of aging and could barely see myself in those same situations years from then.  I began to realize that I won’t be so fortunate to have good health as I do now.  Watching my Uncle Wes* deal with his constant physical struggles cemented that reality into my brain.  I’m about to make some modifications to both bathrooms, especially the shower stall, to help him navigate those spaces.  A few weeks ago he expressed concern for my future welfare.

“You might need this, too,” he said, referring to grab bars in the shower.  He’ll be 86 in a few months.

I have no one to care for me, if I ever get to be his age.  I never got married and had children, or just had children.  I never wanted to be a “Baby Daddy”.  I had wanted to be a husband and father.  But just tell the Great Creator your plans for the future and wait for the laughter.

I’ll be 62 in less than a month and hope to retire at age 65.  My mother retired at 70, but I’m certain I can’t make it that long.  I love my job, but I love time and solitude even more.  My ultimate goal was always to be a true writer, with no other necessary career just to help me get by.

A few years ago a close friend posted a picture on Facebook his daughter took of him after a visit to a vintage car show for his birthday.  He was kneeling beside a vehicle.  I congratulated him on making it to another year and then asked, “BTW how long did it take you to get back up from that squatting position?” with an accompanying laugh emoji.

He never answered, but that always comes to mind, whenever I try to get up from the floor after doing some basic calisthenics or squat down for some ungodly reason.  Yes, getting old his hell, but the alternative isn’t too pleasant.

Then again, I’m not “old”!  I’m vintage!  Damnit!

*Name changed

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Indigenous Peoples’ Day 2025

Good Morning

Oh God, help us

To be generous in our opinions of others,

To be considerate of all we meet,

To be patient with those with whom we work,

To be faithful to every trust,

To be courageous in the face of danger,

To be humble in all our living,

To be prayerful every hour of the day,

To be joyous in all life’s experiences,

And to be dependent upon me,

For strength in facing life’s uncertainties.

Inuit Prayer

Indigenous Peoples’ Day

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Indigenous Peoples’ Day 2023

“If we wonder often, the gift of knowledge will come.”

Native American Proverb (Arapaho)

Indigenous Peoples’ Day

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The Heart Has No Wrinkles

This is a simple, yet extraordinary post from fellow blogger Catnip of Life.  Indeed, the heart never gets wrinkled! Thank you, Sharla!

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

Sophia Loren

It is inevitable for the wrinkles of life to show their ‘ugly’ signs throughout the aging process. For some, the signs of aging appear much earlier than others. How soon they appear and the deepness of their appearance depends upon life itself…its ups & downs, as well as detours along the way. 

“Wave the magic wand!” we might say at some point. Ah-h-h-h, if only that would work but then we could find ourselves in the midst of a global storm! Yet, if we were without those wrinkles, what would that say about our lives? Would we have truly lived? Would we have smiled and laughed, as well as frowned and cried? Or, would our faces look pasty without any indications of former emotion?

Reflect back on times in your life perhaps when a wrinkle might have first appeared. What was your reaction? Did signs of any wrinkling change the love and compassion you feel in your heart?  To love and to be loved never ages regardless if wrinkles appear!

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Earth Day 2022

“We are called to assist the Earth to heal her wounds and in the process heal our own.”

Wangari Maathai

Earth Day 2022

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Earth Day 2021

Happy Earth Day!

“The Earth is what we all have in common.”

Wendell Berry

Image: European Economic and Social Committee

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Retro Quote – Isaiah Berlin

“If we are to hope to understand the often violent world in which we live, we cannot confine our attention to the great impersonal forces, natural and man-made, which act upon us.  The goals and motives that guide human action must be looked at in the light of all that we know and understand; their roots and growth, their essence, and above all their validity, must be critically examined with every intellectual resource that we have.”

Isaiah Berlin, The Crooked Timber of Humanity, 1991

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Retro Quote – Sergio Aragonés

“Freedom is not an individual effort.  Yours comes only when you grant others theirs.”

Sergio Aragonés

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Retro Quote – Thomas Merton

“If the you of five years ago doesn’t consider the you of today a heretic, you are not growing spiritually.”

Thomas Merton

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Little Laughter

The new “Joker” movie is a rehash of an old conundrum: middle-aged man tries to remain relevant in a society that views him with mocking contempt, while he seeks true love and cares for his elderly disabled mother.  Said middle-aged man then experiences a cerebral infarction that plunges him into a psychotic pit of hopeless violence.

How the hell did the screenplay writer get hold of one of my journals?!

“Joker” reminds me of a 1950 Mexican film entitled “Los Olvidados” (The Forgotten Ones), directed by Luis Buñuel.  Also known as “The Young and the Damned”, it focuses on a small cadre of teens trying to survive the brutalities of urban life in a México City slum.

By the 1950s, many films began to acquire a more realistic approach to the world’s problems.  While a post-World War II America seemed to relegate itself to colorful musicals and grand westerns with clearly-drawn heroic and villainous figures, filmmakers in other countries expressed a more cynical, jaded view.

In “Los Olvidados”, Buñuel depicts poverty exactly as it is: cold, violent and oppressive.  It’s a birth place for anger and hostility; not ingenuity where people go from victim to survivor through sheer will power and determination.  American movies of the time often showed Mexicans and Negroes as happy and laughing, despite their economic hardships and substandard living conditions.  In “Los Olvidados”, poverty doesn’t hover in the background like trees in a park.  It’s tangible and painful; it’s a source of cruelty and hate – not an inspiration to forge ahead through rocky obstacles and build a better life.

“Joker” is a modification of that, as it highlights the humiliation individuals often experience in their ongoing quest for acceptance.  It also points to the hostile and sometimes violent reaction people have when they don’t gain that acceptance or respect.  It’s why, for example, American society exploded into rage and bloodshed in the mid-1960s; more directly, why many non-Whites exploded.  They’d finally lost their patience.  They’d done everything possible to be part of the American mainstream, and it still wasn’t good enough.  They were still being treated as second-class citizens; intimidated at the voting booth; forced to sit in the back of mass transit vehicles; sequestered into a proverbial closet.  Beat an animal long enough and it’ll eventually bite back.

For me, patience was always a given.  I had a long fuse.  It took a lot to aggravate me to the point of hysteria.  That may seem like a good thing, a positive attribute – and it is.  But like paralyzing fear, it has its drawbacks – namely that I let people take advantage of me.  Then, in the quiet of my home, I’d complain about it – to no one.  When I would finally bite back, I would unleash a barrage of bloody emotions.  And people would have the audacity to be shocked and get upset.  In other words, I’d scare the shit out of them.  But the primary drawback?  It made me look mentally and emotionally unstable.

In “Joker”, Joaquin Phoenix tries to put on a happy face, while mired in emotional pain and confusion.

I can recall a number of examples where I let myself get pushed too far, but here’s one.  July 2000 and I worked as an executive administrative assistant for a large bank in Dallas.  I supported two bank officers, plus the manager to our little group.  That summer our particular division decided it wanted every individual officer to submit letters to every client in their portfolios; personally-signed letters – not electronically stamped.  The letters for each of my two officers arrived later than for those of the others.  They’d been sent to the wrong floor.  One of my officers seemed to get upset that I didn’t get all 800+ of her letters out on the same day she dropped them on my desk.  She’d taken them home and, after two weeks, finally had them all signed.

I reserved a conference room for half a day, just for the sole purpose of folding each and every one of those letters and placing them into respective envelopes with two of the officer’s business cards.  When my manager realized how far behind I was, he enlisted a few others to help me get them done.  One of the helpers was a fellow administrative assistant who loathed the idea of helping anyone do anything.  In between folding and stuffing, that one particular officer I supported kept yelling at me to answer her phone – while she conversed with another associate.  I finally told her to stop yelling at me.  She and that one admin, however, took the time to stand at the desk of the admin to the department supervisor and discuss beauty secrets with his roommate who did drag shows at local queer bars.  The roommate was on speaker phone.

The next day – after all the letters had been dispatched – I confronted my manager to complain about the fiasco.  His dismissive attitude, along with the eye-rolling response from that one officer and that one other assistant, served as the final knife into my back.  To enhance the aggravation, they pointed out that I’d taken the time to talk with my father (when their own family members would call several times a day) and then accused me of “fraternizing” with yet another admin.

Thus, my patience disintegrated faster than tequila at an open bar during a Mexican wedding.  The level of anger that spewed forth from beleaguered soul terrified even me.  My voice rose in such extreme anger that some people on the other side of the floor hear me.  When our department manager threatened to call security if I didn’t “calm down”, I took the liberty of calling them myself.  On speaker phone.  With that supervisor (and my immediate manager) standing beside me.  They were both stunned into silence, as the security official on the phone waited for a response.

“No, it’s okay,” replied the department supervisor.  For once she sounded nervous.

A security official did come into our area; as equally perplexed as he was curious about my call.  By then, however, the department supervisor’s boss – they were all C-level executives – had learned of the situation and consulted with me privately.  He was angered – not with me; but with my colleagues and my direct manager.  When he gathered all of us together, I thought that one officer, the one who’d accused me of “fraternizing”, was going to melt into a puddle of tears and shit.

I didn’t like what happened that day.  I didn’t like that it got so ugly.  Hostility breeds nothing but contempt.  But I had to take a stand.  I had to let people know how exactly I felt and why I was so angry.  I rightfully put the blame back on them; that if they’d shown me the respect I deserved as an adult and a business professional, none of that would have happened.  Then again, if I’d only said or done something earlier; if I’d just reacted sooner, the day would have proceeded more smoothly.

Sometimes, though, we do have to yell; we do have to make a scene.  It should never get to that, but it happens.  Some people just can’t grasp the concept of keeping peace in the neighborhood or maintaining a high degree of business professionalism.  We have to lower our intellect to their level, so they’ll comprehend what we’ve been trying to tell them.  I hate doing that – because it really does make us look emotionally unbalanced.  But occasionally, there’s just no other way.

The title character in “Joker” is embroiled in the same dilemma.  He’s trying desperately to remain relevant and garner respect.  He’s been beaten down and disrespected for far too long.  Then he explodes.  He’s been pushed to the violent breaking point.  And there are literally millions of people like him across the globe.

It all goes back to one of the most human of desires: to be acknowledged and respected.  The lack of respect creates hostility in the workplace, but it also launches wars and civil unrest.  We saw that here in the U.S. with the “Occupy Wall Street” movement.  We saw it with the 2011 “Arab Spring”.  People can only take so much.

Whatever happens, it’s no laughing matter.  Respect will always equal dignity.

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