“If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.”
“There’s no formula. Keep busy with your work and your life. You can’t become a professional mourner. It doesn’t help you or others. Replay the good times. Be grateful for the years you had.”
“Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.”
“I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing. If I sound old-fashioned, it’s because I’m as old as I am! But it’s just polite.”
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
“Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.”
“Friendship takes time and energy if it’s going to work. You can luck into something great, but it doesn’t last if you don’t give it proper appreciation.”
“I have no regrets at all. None. I consider myself to be the luckiest old broad on two feet.”
“It is important that you not believe your own publicity. Be grateful for whatever praise you receive, but take it with a grain of salt.”
“You can always tell somebody by the way they put their hands on an animal.”
“I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.”
“I’ve always liked older men. They’re just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age, there aren’t that many left!”
“Does desire melt away with age? I’m waiting for that day to come.”
“I’m a health nut. My favorite food is hot dogs with French fries. And my exercise: I have a two-story house and a very bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs.”
“Everybody needs a passion. That’s what keeps life interesting. If you live without passion, you can go through life without leaving any footprints.”
“Laughter keeps everyone feeling wonderful.”
“Best thing about being in your 90s is you’re spoiled rotten. Everybody spoils you like mad and they treat you with such respect because you’re old. Little do they know, you haven’t changed. You haven’t changed [in the brain]. You’re just 90 every place else. Now that I’m 91, as opposed to being 90, I’m much wiser. I’m much more aware, and I’m much sexier.”
“In my head, I’m the ultimate cougar. Animal lover that I am.”
“My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’”
“Butterflies are like women — we may look pretty and delicate, but baby, we can fly through a hurricane.”
“I’m a big cockeyed optimist. I try to accentuate the positive as opposed to the negative.”
“Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.”
Betty White
Chief Writing Wolf 