Category Archives: News
Tweet of the Week – May 29, 2020
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Worst Quote of the Week – May 29, 2020
“Well I did wear – I had one on before. I wore one in this back area. But I didn’t want to give the press the pleasure of seeing it.”
– President Donald Trump, in response to a reporter on why he didn’t wear a mask while touring a Ford plant.
Writer, artist and fellow blogger Art Browne (my kindred brother in weirdness) proposed this alternative:
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Best Quote of the Week – May 29, 2020
“Much as he might wish otherwise, Donald Trump is not the president of Twitter. This order, if issued, would be a blatant and unconstitutional threat to punish social media companies that displease the president.”
– American Civil Liberties Union, in response to Trump’s executive order that could weaken legal protections for social media outlets.
“The president has no authority to rewrite a congressional statute with an executive order imposing a flawed interpretation of Section 230,” the ACLU continued, referring to the section of the Communications Decency Act that shields platforms from being held liable for what users publish on them.
Trump had issued the order in a toddler-esque tirade against Twitter for having the audacity to fact-check two of his posts; one claiming that mail-in ballots will lead to voter fraud (a long-standing conservative mantra used to thwart voting rights) and the other that the state of California will send mail-in ballots to “anyone living in the state, no matter who they are or how they got there.”
Twitter is based in San Francisco, a city with a notorious reputation for having a leftist political and social bent. California Governor Gavin Newsom, an arch foe of Trump, recently issued an order to protect public health in relation to the COVID-19 pandemic while casting their votes in this year’s presidential election.
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Worst Quote of the Week – May 22, 2020
“If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.”
– Joe Biden, former U.S. Vice President and presumptive 2020 Democratic presidential nominee, in an interview on the syndicated radio show “The Breakfast Club”. Biden later apologized for the statement.
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Best Quote of the Week – May 22, 2020
“Now is the time, depending upon where you are or what your situation is, is to begin seriously looking at reopening the economy – reopening the country – to try to get back to some degree of normal. I’m totally in favor of that if done in the proper way and appropriate setting.”
– Dr. Anthony Fauci, conceding that a prolonged national lockdown over the COVID19 crisis is unhealthy for the nation, but emphasizes a “prudent” reopening.
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Tweet of the Week – May 15, 2020
“This man jogged 2 miles through his neighborhood carrying a TV in his hands to prove that “looking like a suspect” who committed a robbery isn’t a good enough excuse for the murder of Ahmaud Arbery.”
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Most Unhinged Moment of the Week – May 15, 2020
“Texas’ Governor says you don’t need (expletive)!”
– An unidentified man at a 99 Cent Only store in San Antonio, Texas, after an employee told him to wear a mask as part of company policy to prevent spread of COVID-19.
The belligerent, maskless man had charged at other customers who were recording him and even shouted at one, “Don’t record me! That’s an invasion of my personal privacy!”
I have to make three points regarding this particular incident. For one thing, while Texas Governor Greg Abbott hasn’t made it mandatory for people wear masks in public, he has encouraged the practice. Also, when someone is in public – angry or not – they should have no expectation of privacy. Finally, if you’ve ever been to a 99 Cent Only store, you should understand that the COVID-19 virus is the least potential health hazard you’ll face.
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Worst Quote of the Week – May 15, 2020
“I’m in complete confidence that if I’m exposed to the coronavirus that either I won’t get it, or if I do get it, that, hey, it will be a few days and I’ll be fine afterwards. Because when your immune system is strong – God designed our bodies to fight viruses. And that’s the thing: For me, it’s an attitude and mentality of faith over fear.”
– Gabe Lyons, co-founder of Q, a Christian organization, in a recent COVID-19 discussion with followers.
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Best Quote of the Week – May 15, 2020
“Mail-in ballots aren’t where the election fraud is happening. It’s happening in the office of our indicted attorney general.”
– Kendall Scudder, a Dallas County businessman who – along with another man – filed a formal complaint against Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, alleging the latter committed voter fraud in each of the state’s 254 counties by contradicting a judge’s order expanding the availability of mail-in voting during the COVID-19 pandemic.
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Happy Mother’s Day 2020!
“There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart.”
“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.”
“Every day when you’re raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and just scream, ‘This is ridiculous!’ because there’s so much nonsense, whether it’s what they’re saying to you or the fact that there’s avocado or poop on every surface.”
“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.”
“After we got home from the hospital, I didn’t shower for a week, and then John and I were like, ‘Let’s go out for dinner.’ I could last only about an hour because my boobs were exploding. When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami. But we went, just to prove to ourselves that we could feel normal for a second.”
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
“Sometimes I stand there going, ‘I’m not doing any of this right!’ And then I get this big man belch of her and I go, ‘Ah, we accomplished this together.’”
“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”
“Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.”
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
“[Having four kids is] endless stuff. It’s endless entertainment, it’s endless stress, endless responsibility. Everyone’s at different ages and levels, everyone’s into different stuff. But everyone is into slime.”
“I’ve learned that it’s way harder to be a baby. For instance, I haven’t thrown up since the ‘90s and she’s thrown up twice since we started this interview.”
“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.”
“Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?”
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”
“You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.”
“If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man – and by ‘party’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’.”
“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”
“Stop saying, ‘We’re pregnant.’ You’re not pregnant. Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole? No.”
“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”
“I’ve conquered a lot of things … blood clots in my lungs – twice … knee and foot surgeries … winning Grand Slams being down match point … to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!”
“Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”
“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.”
“Happy is the son whose faith in his mother remains unchallenged.”
“A mother’s love doesn’t make her son more dependent and timid; it actually makes him stronger and more independent.”
“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.”
Irish Proverb
Image: Wisconsin Historical Society
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