“Help, reproductive instinct, loneliness and quiet revenge on the church. I cannot be a priest as a gay man, but I can reproduce myself as often as I want.”
– Markus K, a prolific German sperm donor, trying to explain himself.
The story broke recently in Munich’s “Abendzeitung,” or “Evening News.” Markus K apparently has fathered 22 children with 17 lesbian women. Two more of his children are supposedly due this summer. I wish I could get paid for producing awesome sperm samples. I mean, I know I’d make a butt-load of money. Who would think manual labor could pay so well! But, alas, I have a greater responsibility to society, as a whole, than to believe my sperm cells must be preserved like seeds in the “Doomsday Seed Vault.” I also don’t think a porn career would sit well with my family. So, I’ll just have to stick with my homemade videos. Just so Markus and his overactive hands will know – YOU’RE NOT THAT SPECIAL! Bringing children into the world is no way to wreak revenge on a church, you dumb ass!
Chief Writing Wolf 
Most Convoluted Quote of the Week
“[Texas Gov. Sam Houston] made a powerful decision that cost him his governorship. He was against slavery, and he stood up and very passionately said, ‘Texas does not need to leave the union over this issue of slavery.’ But, that’s the type of principled leadership, that’s the type of courage that I hope people across the country [will show] on this issue of scouts and keeping the Boy Scouts the organization that it is today.”
– Texas Governor Rick Perry, equating the Boy Scouts’ anti-gay policies to the stand against slavery.
The list of idiotic statements from Perry’s mouth keeps getting longer and longer. I cringe every time he speaks because – like Ted Nugent – I know it’s not going to make sense. Lord, please deliver us from such madness! Lord? Are you listening? Goddamnit!
Leave a comment
Filed under News
Tagged as Boy Scouts, rick perry, stupid comments