Happy Father’s Day 2020!

“How come my three year old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur and I can’t even remember my home phone number?”

Taye Diggs

“I rescind my early statement, ‘I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants.’ (I hadn’t met my daughter yet).”

Dax Shepard

“The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.”

Tim Russert

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”

Charles Wadsworth

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”

Jerry Seinfeld

“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.”

Rita Rudner

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”

Jon Stewart

“There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.”

Jim Gaffigan

“It is so embarrassing how I went from a person who did not care about anyone’s children.  Then you have them, and you brag about the same stuff that you never cared about.  And you tell people, ‘he’s got four teeth,’ like they care.”

Seth Meyers

“On our 6 am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning.  I let her know it’s in heaven, visiting daddy’s freedom.”

Ryan Reynolds

“Having children is like living in a frat house: nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

Ray Romano

“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug.  So we know she’s sarcastic.”

Bob Odenkirk

“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”

Steve Martin

“Good parenting means investing in your child’s future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.”

Lin-Manuel Miranda

“Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I’ve come across at this point in my life.  It is truly one of life’s most satisfying moments.”

Brad Pitt

“The only way I can describe [fatherhood] – it sounds stupid, but – at the end of ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas,’ you know how his heart grows like five times?  Everything is full; it’s just full all the time.”

Matt Damon

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.”

Dave Attell

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’”

Jerry Lewis

“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.”

Ed Asner

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Cooper á la Trump

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, does that include vocal parodies?  Sarah Cooper certainly thinks so.  The writer, comic and formal Google associate has created a series of brief videos in which she lip syncs to actual recordings of Donald Trump opining on a variety of subjects.  While the verbiage alone is confounding enough, Cooper’s facial expressions are hysterically priceless!

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Retro Quote – Booker T. Washington

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”

– Booker T. Washington

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Video of the Week – June 19, 2020

Here we have foreign-born Abraham “Avrumy” Knofler screaming about a “Black Lives Matter” sign in front of one of the most dangerous establishments in the world – a coffee shop in New York.  “I was making a protest – all lives matter,” he told Gothamist.

Yes, they do, Avrumy.  But assholes don’t matter at all!

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Tweet of the Week – June 19, 2020

Here’s definitive proof that veterinary work is one of the toughest jobs on Earth.  At least this pup was somewhat amiable.  My late schnauzer had to be sedated before his nails could be trimmed; otherwise, he’d go into a snarling frenzy and an “alligator-death-roll”.

Gaml. Y

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Worst Quote of the Week – June 19, 2020

“I did something good: I made Juneteenth very famous.  It’s actually an important event, an important time.  But nobody had ever heard of it.”

– Donald Trump, announcing the “discovery” ahead of this weekend’s visit to Tulsa, Oklahoma, for a campaign rally.

The U.S. Secret Service had to inform our disoriented “leader” that June 19 (“Juneteenth”) is already a well-known date in American civil rights history.

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Best Quote of the Week – June 19, 2020

“In Title VII, Congress adopted broad language making it illegal for an employer to rely on an employee’s sex when deciding to fire that employee.  We do not hesitate to recognize today a necessary consequence of that legislative choice: An employer who fires an individual merely for being gay or transgender defies the law.”

– U.S. Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch, writing for the majority in Bostock v. Clayton County, Georgia, No. 17-1618, which outlaws discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

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Tulsa and June 19th

Page 1 of the Emancipation Proclamation, issued January 1, 1863.

“And so when this terrible thing happened, it really destroyed my faith in humanity.  And it took a good long while for me to get over it.”

– Olivia Hooker, survivor of the 1921 Tulsa Race Riots

It’s a typical story: White woman claims Black man assaulted her; mob of White men become enraged and launch a hunt for said perpetrator; any Negro male is automatically presumed guilty; exact details supposed incident are unknown.  This was the scenario in May of 1921, when a young White female, Sarah Page, in Tulsa allegedly screamed after a young Black man, Dick Rowland, entered the elevator she operated.  Even today the circumstances of the exchange between Page and Rowland remain unclear.  But, in 1921, scores of hate-filled White men didn’t need to know such minutia.  The White woman’s words were the only details they needed.

And thus, commenced what is now known to be the worst race-based riot in U.S. history.  Police found Rowland and charged him sexual assault.  The sheriff had refused to hand Rowland over to bands of outraged Whites.  The throngs of self-proclaimed vigilantes stormed through Tulsa’s Black-dominated Greenwood neighborhood to exact further revenge.  Greenwood featured a district known as “Black Wall Street;” where businesses owned and operated by African-American residents had become an incredibly independent and thriving economy within a city of some 100,000.

When the initial chaos was over, upwards of 300 Greenwood-area residents were dead and thousands left homeless.  Some Black veterans of World War I (then called the “Great War”) had taken up arms in defense of their community, which surely incentivized the angry White men to continue their violent retribution.

The same madness would occur in Rosewood, Florida two years later.  A White woman reported that a Black man had entered her home and attacked her.  The woman’s husband gathered a group of about 500 Ku Klux Klan members and began a hunt through the area for any Black man they could find.  They learned that a Black member of a prison chain gang had escaped and believed Black residents of Rosewood were helping him hide.  The mobs then systematically tore through town, killing whoever they could (mostly Black men) and driving out most of the survivors.  The entire community of Rosewood was decimated.  The story of what happened remained largely unknown until at least the 1980s.

The story of Tulsa still remains largely unknown.  I’d heard of the horror some 30 years ago and wondered why such a calamity would be so obscure.  I now know why.  Like much of Native American history, true aspects of the African-American experience are often overwhelmed by the cult of American greatness; the “Manifest Destiny” myths stained heavily with Eurocentric viewpoints.  The Tulsa Massacre has received greater attention in recent months because of the tragic deaths of several African-Americans.  Its significance has grown even more within the past couple of weeks, as Donald Trump was set to stage a campaign rally in Tulsa today.  But that’s been postponed to tomorrow.

COVID-19 concerns aside, the event would have been held on one of the most historic dates in American history.  On June 19, 1865, news of the Emancipation Proclamation reached the state of Texas – more than two years after then-President Abraham Lincoln had signed it.  The decree established “that all persons held as slaves” within the rebellious states “are, and henceforward shall be free.”

Known as Juneteenth, the event is now celebrated as a turning point in the U.S. Civil War; bringing an end to one of the bloodiest conflicts on American soil.  The Emancipation Proclamation forcibly freed millions of people from the carnage of slavery; granting them the dignity of their humanity; something that had been stolen from their ancestors ensnared in the traps of slave traders on the beaches of West Africa.

That Donald Trump – one of the most cognitively-challenged and covertly racist presidents the U.S. has ever had – would hold a reelection rally on this date and 99 years after one of the single worst racial holocausts in modern American history speaks to an incredible level of ignorance among the historical elite and certainly of its arrogance.  Knowing Trump, this shouldn’t be surprising.  But the partiality of U.S. history also shouldn’t be surprising.

Many factors of our history – some dating back thousands of years – have been absent from the historical account.  For decades, myths persisted that Native Americans willingly bowed down to Christianity and that Blacks lived happily within an enslaved existence.  Even now, for example, many Americans believe most Hispanics are Latin American immigrants; when, in fact, the history of Hispanics in the U.S. goes back further than that of other Europeans and is tied inexorably with Native American history.  In other words, it IS American history.

Anger over Trump’s June 19 convocation forced organizers to reschedule it for the 20th.  But that won’t solve the dilemma of deliberate ignorance – just like civil rights legislation didn’t make all racial transgressions moot.  The 1965 Voting Rights Act eliminated many of the barriers to voting obstruction.  But, since the election of Barack Obama in 2008, we’ve seen Republican-dominated state legislatures try to roll back some of those protections under the guise of preventing voter fraud.

A photographic overview of Tulsa’s Greenwood area after the 1921 race riot and massacre. (Greenwood Cultural Center)

Much of the anger among Whites in 1921 was that Tulsa’s Greenwood section was prosperous and independent.  The same happened with the Tigua community 18 years ago, when the state of Texas shut down their casino under the ruse of combating illegal gambling.  The Tiguas had become wealthy and independent with proceeds from the casino; thus, lifting most out of poverty and off of welfare.  But they hadn’t gotten permission from the conservative, predominantly White state legislature; an affront of unimaginable proportions the latter.  Therefore, then-Governor Rick Perry and then-State Attorney General John Cornyn forced the casino to close.  Many of the Tigua have now slipped back into poverty and back onto state assistance. Even as of last year, Texas is still trying to stop the Tiguas from becoming self-sufficient.

Again, anyone with a clear mind shouldn’t be surprised.  Economic independence and wealth translates into political power.  The voices and experiences of those communities are no longer silenced.  That, in turn, upsets the self-appointed power elite – and the oppression begins.  It used to come at the end of firearms and sticks.  Now it comes with legislation.

It’s too easy to dismiss the ignorance of people like Donald Trump.  But it’s also dangerous.  And it does a disservice to the American conscious.

We can never truly make amends for incidents like Tulsa.  We can, however, honor such brutal transgressions by remembering them; remembering exactly what happened and not deleting any feature of those accounts because some are uncomfortable with it.  Again, that’s a disservice to the American conscious.

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Retro Quote – Emiliano Zapata

“It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees”

– Emiliano Zapata

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Tweet of the Week – June 12, 2020

Donald Trump on renaming U.S. military bases originally named for Confederate military figures.

There’s something inherently un-American about a U.S. military base named after someone who moved Heaven and Earth to fight against the United States.

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