Tag Archives: celebrity

From the ‘Who Gives a F**k’ Files

As if we need any more idiots procreating, here comes some disheartening news: Paris Hilton wants to be a mom.  The notorious hotel heiress recently announced – like people really wanted to hear this – that she and her boyfriend, Carter Reum, have begun in vitro fertilization.

Help us, Jesus!  The welfare of civilization is at stake!

Hilton has gone through boyfriends like I’ve gone through bottles of vodka.  And, as a recovering alcoholic, I should know!

Hilton stated she’d like to have twins, a boy and a girl, and that IVF is “the only way” to ensure that happens.  To help her along, Hilton consulted with another longtime friend, an equally disingenuous celebrity famous for nothing else other than being incredibly wealthy – Kim Kardashian.  Kardashian had given birth to twins via IVF, which, Hilton declares is something “I didn’t even know about.”

Living in that billionaire bubble, Hilton doesn’t know how most things work – like when you have to pay for your light bill or shop for food.  And this chick wants to bring more of her kind into the world.  Like I said – civilization is at stake.

I mean, who really gives a fuck?!

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Barring Trump

Donald Trump’s star on Hollywood’s legendary “Walk of Fame” has been vandalized too many times to count in the nearly two years since the cantankerous business tycoon was selected by the former Soviet Union to be our president.  The City of Hollywood – trying to perform its civic duty – has been willing to consider any reasonable idea of how to protect “The Donald’s” star.

A street artist known as “Plastic Jesus” has devised an ingenious idea: put the star behind bars.  Literally!

“There have been calls to jail Trump since the day he was elected, and today he was certainly put behind bars – or at least his now infamous star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was caged,” PJ wrote in a recent email to Artnet News.

The London-born Los Angeles resident has become known for ambushing the public – and specifically, public figures – with graffiti-style street art combining humor and irony to express his criticism of current affairs.  In other words, he’s a true artist who tackles weighty subjects in order to piss off people who believe everything is just fine with the world.  In this case, the pissed off would be Trump supporters, as well as those who merely shrug at the sight of Trump’s star on the “Walk of Fame”.  It’s obvious (to those of us not been enamored with celebrity) that Trump’s placement in the White House is the most blatant act of fraud since Bill Cosby was labeled “America’s Dad”.

“Artists are able to connect and convey opinion in a universal way,” PJ notes.  “So I think it’s important for artists to speak out.  I think art encourages dialogue and debate like no other media.”

My advice?  Keep pissing people off, brother!

Just another typical day on the “Walk of Fame” in Hollywood, California.

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