“What’s Giuliani doing? Wandering around like a lost relative in the attic.”
Tag Archives: U.S. presidency
“Don’t worry, Mr. President. I’ll see you at your trial.”
– Sen. Kamala Harris, responding to Donald Trump’s tweet wishing her well after ending her presidential bid and referencing the U.S. House’s impeachment investigation into Trump’s dealings with Ukraine.
“There’s no good that can come out of secrecy.”
– John Dean, former White House counsel to President Richard Nixon
Another week of the latest reality TV show to torture the masses, ‘The Harlequins of Washington’, has thankfully ended. The histrionic personality of Faux-President Donald Trump has yet to abate and find its happy place. Trump is the “Typhoid Mary” of the current political arena: infected, contagious, absurdly disgusting and in obvious denial. Where’s Louis Pasteur when you need him?! Or maybe Jeffrey Dahmer. Oh, Great Candelabra! I guess I shouldn’t be so brutally honest. But the unbridled scribe in me often takes over my brain faster than Germans at a beer festival.
Yet, every day of the week – including weekends and holidays – the U.S. and the world are treated to regular puny-worded rants from the American Putin. Trump is quicker to name-slur his adversaries – “Crooked Hillary”, “Lying Ted”, “Little Marco” – than he is to produce his tax records. Which, by the way, have yet to be removed from whatever subterranean vault they’re being housed in at Trump Tower.
The schizophrenic weather and temperature fluctuations that have traumatized Northeast Texas in recent months have left the Chief and many other locals swaddled in a morass of mucus, madness and melancholia. I dragged my carcass into visit my doctor this morning, hoping for a shot of some life-altering tonic: cortisone, Vitamin B12, hydrocodone, Don Julio tequila.
Afterwards, I realized our ‘Dear Clown Leader’ could use much of the same; just inject a slew of medications into his fat ass – a process that could last for days – in a concerted effort to nourish his pickling cerebral cortex into some semblance of normality and subsequently (hopefully) save the world.
Alas, dreams are always a good thing. Never give up on them! Now, I’ll steer my haggard self from national news broadcasts, partake of some Don Julio, and embed myself into another reality TV show; one with considerably more plausibility – “Ancient Aliens”.
“If the society today allows wrongs to go unchallenged, the impression is created that those wrongs have the approval of the majority.”
“I don’t know why the Republicans are afraid of the truth. What are we fighting for? Defending our democracy for the people.”
– Nancy Pelosi, about the Democratic Party’s formal impeachment inquiry into Faux-President Donald Trump
“I would think that if they were honest about it, they’d start a major investigation into the Bidens. It’s a very simple answer. They should investigate the Bidens because how does a company that’s newly-formed and all these companies, if you look at – and by the way, likewise, China should start an investigation into the Bidens. Because what happened in China is just about as bad as what happened with – uh – with Ukraine.”
– Faux President Donald Trump, in response to a reporter’s question about the Ukraine and former Vice-President Joe Biden.