Just when you think something is new, researchers prove you wrong. For example, I thought American cowboys invented the ‘F’ word. Then I heard rumors someone in my family came up with it during a baptism, but that’s another story. A British historian, however, has found the earliest written record of this vocabulary gem in a court document – from 1310.
The item refers to a man named “Roger Fuckebythenavele,” and was discovered accidentally by Dr. Paul Booth, a historian at England’s Keele University. Booth was examining medieval court cases, when he stumbled upon the unfortunate moniker. Roger wasn’t actually born into a family called “Fuckebythenavele.” He was branded as such because he was an incompetent copulator. Usually that refers to most politicians, but Booth informed the local press, “Either it refers to an inexperienced copulator, referring to someone trying to have sex with the navel, or it’s a rather extravagant explanation for a dimwit, someone so stupid they think that this is the way to have sex.”
Apparently Roger was so bad at sex he was considered an outlaw and would be tried under judiciary circumstances. Before Booth’s discovery, the earliest documented example of “fuck” was in a 1475 poem titled “Flen fyys.” The line in question reads, ““fvccant vvivys of heli,” which can be translated to “they fuck the wives of Ely.”
Booth has contacted the Oxford English dictionary people to advise them of his discovery; whereupon they should then make the appropriate updates to the historical etymology of the “F” word. As of now, Booth hasn’t received a reply. In that case, just tell them to…have a nice day. Dagnabbit!
Just as the long Thanksgiving holiday comes to a close here in the U.S., I present this list 10 words to describe bodily functions. As a writer, I’m always perusing the dictionary and thesaurus for new terms. I used to go overboard, just for the sake of being unique and colorful. But, any creative writing instructor will advise the opposite – choose the simplest, most easily recognizable words for your story. Not everyone loves reaching for the dictionary like we do. But, I challenge my fellow writers to interject these linguistic mouthfuls into a sentence somewhere. Go ahead. It’ll be deliciously fun!
1. Borborygmus – rumbling: “What I thought was the rumbling of a truck was only a bout of borborygmus in my stomach.”
2. Emesis – vomiting: “I turned away in disgust from the vile rhetorical emesis of the racist orator.”
3. Eructation – belching: “The smokestacks engaged in endless eructation.”
4. Ingurgitation – guzzling: “We gazed in disbelief at the rampant ingurgitation occurring among the frat boys arrayed around the keg.”
5. Mastication – chewing: “The students, engrossed in the mental mastication required of the assignment, failed to notice my entrance.”
6. Micturation – urinating: “They’re micturating over all that we honor and respect.”
7. Osculation – kissing: “The odious osculation that takes place between politics and big business will never cease.”
8. Peristalsis – swallowing: “They accepted the lies with peristaltic enthusiasm — hook, line, and sinker.”
9. Sternutation – sneezing: “His incessant explosions of sternutation were unsettling.”
10. Tussis – coughing: “John produced gratuitous tussis to signal his extreme skepticism.”
Courtesy of Daily Writing Tips.