“Over the last week, the Democrats held the darkest and angriest and gloomiest convention in American history.”
– Donald Trump, in his overall assessment of the Democratic National Convention.
Tag Archives: Donald Trump
Second Best Quote of the Week – August 22, 2020
“Donald Trump hasn’t grown into the job because he can’t. And the consequences of that failure are severe. 170,000 Americans dead. Millions of jobs gone while those at the top take in more than ever. Our worst impulses unleashed, our proud reputation around the world badly diminished, and our democratic institutions threatened like never before.”
– Former (and real) President Barack Obama, in his speech at the Democratic National Convention.
Filed under News
Best Quote of the Week – August 22, 2020
“Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country. He has had more than enough time to prove that he can do the job, but he is clearly in over his head. He cannot meet this moment. He simply cannot be who we need him to be for us. It is what it is.”
– Former First Lady Michelle Obama, in a pre-recorded speech for the 2020 Democratic National Convention
Filed under News
Steve Bannon Looks Like…
On Thursday, the 20th, the political world received a shock when Steve Bannon, former campaign manager to Donald Trump, was arrested on tax fraud charges. Okay, maybe not too many were shocked. I mean, Bannon is the 10th former Trump official to be indicted on something. Bannon has been charged with personally using money from a non-profit intended to build a massive wall on the U.S. border with México – you know, the wall for which México was supposed to pay. Adding to the elitist irony of it all, Bannon was taken into custody aboard a yacht owned by an exiled Chinese billionaire.
But it’s Bannon’s mug shot that has elicited a slew of raucously crass comments. Any mug shot – which are just one step above driver’s license photos – always makes for a few good laughs. Looking at Bannon’s pic incurred all sorts of unsavory images in the Chief’s perpetually disturbed mind.
Hence, Steve Bannon’s mug shot makes him look like:
- The creepy old guy at the end of the bar who keeps winking at you. (I’ve been on both ends.)
- A man enduring a midlife crisis stepping into a Ferrari dealership while his wife is at a church retreat.
- A Walmart greeter.
- Fellow blogger and my brother in creatively mental instability Art Browne. (Love you, buddy!)
- A refugee from Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”.
- Any drunk at a Waffle House between midnight and 4 a.m.
- A headshot for a reverse mortgage commercial.
- Jerry Garcia’s missing twin.
- An NFL referee.
- Any 1980s-era televangelist.
- A 1980s-era rock star fresh out of rehab.
- A 1970s-era porn star fresh out of rehab.
- Any number of homeless men I used to see on the streets of downtown Dallas – only more pathetic.
- The old man who asks, “Want some candy?”
- The Chief at age 70. Oh God, how terrifying!
Filed under Wolf Tales
Yeah, You! The Semite One!
Some gifts are best presented as is. With a verbally-challenged President like Donald Trump, those gifts can be unexpected. At least that’s what the National Museum of American Jewish History has realized, following yet another gaff by our faux Commander-in-Chief. In a speech about the beauty of America’s national parks, Trump had trouble pronouncing the Yosemite in Yosemite National Park; a 1200 sqm. (310,798 h) gem in California, perhaps most famous for its astounding giant sequoia trees.
In response, the NMAJ has produced a tee shirt to honor the moment and has already sold 1,500. Amidst the humor, there is irony. Untold numbers of die-hard Trump supporters with White supremacist leanings will undoubtedly be horrified to learn their man has created profits for a Jewish institution.
Filed under Curiosities
Dumbest Quote of the Week – August 15, 2020
“The closest thing is in 1917, they say, the great pandemic. It certainly was a terrible thing where they lost anywhere from 50 to 100 million people, probably ended the Second World War. All the soldiers were sick. That was a terrible situation.”
– President Donald Trump, incorrectly stating that the 1918-20 Spanish Flu pandemic brought an end to World War II.
Quick world history lesson: World War I ended in November of 1918 with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. World War II began with Germany’s invasion of Poland in 1939 and ended with both the collapse of the Nazi regime and the bombing of Japan in 1945.
Filed under News
Worst Quote of the Week – August 15, 2020
“She was probably nastier than even Pocahontas to Joe Biden. She was very disrespectful to Joe Biden. And it’s hard to pick somebody that’s that disrespectful.”
– President Donald Trump, reacting to Joe Biden’s selection of Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate by highlighting a clash Biden and Harris had over 1970s-era busing during an early Democratic primary debate. Trump’s “Pocahontas” slight is a reference to Sen. Elizabeth Warren; a term he’s used before.
For the record, Harris never denounced Biden as a racist.
Filed under News
Best Quote of the Week – August 15, 2020
“I’ve decided that Kamala Harris is the best person to help me take this fight to Trump and Mike Pence and then to lead this nation starting in January 2021.”
– Former Vice-President and current democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, in announcing that Sen. Kamala Harris will be his running mate.
Filed under News
Tweet of the Week – August 8, 2020
Discussions between congressional Democrats and Republicans over additional economic relief, including extending unemployment benefits, have broken down – again – as Americans continue struggling with rising personal debts and increased costs of living.
Filed under News
Worst Quote of the Week – August 8, 2020
“[Children] don’t have a problem, they just don’t have a problem. It doesn’t have an impact on them. I’ve watched some doctors say they’re totally immune.”
– President Donald Trump, in a video commentary on why schools should re-open, amidst the COVID-19 pandemic.
The video had been tweeted out by Trump’s reelection campaign, but was promptly removed by Twitter for violating its newly-minted standards against spreading false information.
Filed under News
Chief Writing Wolf 