Tag Archives: Texas

Worst Quotes of the Week – December 12, 2020

“This is what they do to Trump.  It’s not going to work with me.  I won’t back down because I am very religious and I know God is watching over me.  This started with COVID.  The Obamas funded that Wuhan lab to make COVID.  Then the impeachment process.  They’ve used every avenue possible to cheat, they used Dominion. Dominion software was created to cheat. I have a binder from Dominion that proves this.  There’s so much more that will be exposed.”

Mellissa Carone, former IT contractor for Dominion Voting Systems in Michigan, on SarahPalin.com

Carone worked on Election Night last month in Detroit and claims the amount of fraud at that one vote-counting center alone should be enough to overturn the election in President Trump’s favor.

“The Supreme Court, in tossing the Texas lawsuit that was joined by seventeen states and 106 US congressman, has decreed that a state can take unconstitutional actions and violate its own election law.  Resulting in damaging effects on other states that abide by the law, while the guilty state suffers no consequences.  This decision establishes a precedent that says states can violate the US constitution and not be held accountable.  This decision will have far-reaching ramifications for the future of our constitutional republic.  Perhaps law-abiding states should bond together and form a Union of states that will abide by the constitution.”

Allen West, Chairman of the Texas Republican Party, responding to the U.S. Supreme Court’s refusal to hear a lawsuit brought by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton

To non-Americans, the term “Union” is basically a reference to the 19th century U.S. Civil War, which long-time conservatives still describe as a states’ rights issue, when in reality, it was about the right of southern states to keep human beings enslaved.

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Best Quotes of the Week – December 12, 2020

“The mountains of misinformation are not helping the process; they’re only hurting it.”

Geoff Duncan, Republican lieutenant governor of Georgia, responding to Donald Trump’s relentless claims the elections were “stolen”

Two runoff elections for senator in Georgia on January 5 will determine control of the U.S. Senate.

“I personally think my company should pay me workers compensation for brain damage for having to read that lawsuit and related filings.  It really is one of the stupidest bits of performative leg humping we have seen in the last five years. These attorneys general are willing to beclown themselves and their states all to get in good with the losing presidential candidate.   The suit is absurd on its face.  These states seek to interfere in the internal affairs of other states when those states are not actually electing the president, but allowing their voters to choose members of the Electoral College.  Were this to succeed, which it will not, the states will start suing each other at every election as a bit of theater.”­

Erick Erickson, far-right social conservative and evangelical Christian fundamentalist radio host, in an essay on his blog

Erickson endorsed Trump’s reelection campaign, but criticized a lawsuit filed by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, denouncing it as “one of the stupidest bits of performative leg humping we have seen in the last five years.”

“We believe our Jewish community needs to be able to join and partner in solidarity with communities of color like Arab Americans, Black Americans, Indigenous people who are facing systemic injustice and be able to listen to their narratives just as we expect other communities to listen to our narrative as Jews.”

Ellen Brotsky, a volunteer leader for Jewish Voice for Peace, an organization devoted to combating all forms of ethnic and racial bias

JVP and their supporters are concerned recent changes to school curriculums about ethnic inclusivity in the state of California are overlooking people of Middle Eastern extraction.

“The allegations in the lawsuit are false and irresponsible.  Texas alleges that there are 80,000 forged signatures on absentee ballots in Georgia, but they don’t bring forward a single person who this happened to. That’s because it didn’t happen.”

Jordan Fuchs, Georgia’s deputy secretary of state, responding to a lawsuit filed by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton against Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin whose election results handed the White House to President-elect Joe Biden

In the suit, Paxton claims pandemic-era changes to election procedures in those states violated federal law and is asking the U.S. Supreme Court to block the states from voting in the Electoral College.

“I feel so privileged to be the first.”

Margaret Keenan, age 90, upon becoming the first person in Great Britain to receive the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine shot outside of clinical trials

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Local? Hell, Yeah!

I’ve already heard some people threatening to leave the U.S. if Donald Trump is elected to a second term. Okay, bye! I will stay and fight to make this country as good as it was getting BEFORE Trump got into office! I was born and raised here. My Spanish ancestors were the first European settlers in Texas, and my Indian ancestors were here long before them. Even my German predecessors have been in the U.S. for several generations.

I’m not going anywhere!

Newcomer:  “So you’re from right here in Texas?”

Me:  “Yes, I am.”

“Born and raised?”

“Born and raised.”

“Lived here all your life?”

“Not yet.”

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Best Quote of the Week – September 5, 2020

“Texas officials continue to do everything they can to keep Texans from voting by mail this fall. Our elected leaders should be working overtime to make voting as easy as possible for every eligible voter, including anyone who worries voting in person is too dangerous amid the coronavirus pandemic.  When Harris County officials tried to do the right thing, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton promptly sued to stop it.”

Houston Chronicle Editorial Board, on continuing efforts by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton to prevent voting by mail in the state

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Worst Quote of the Week – July 4, 2020

“Fauci said that he’s concerned about states like Texas that skipped over certain things.  He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  We haven’t skipped over anything.”

Dan Patrick, Texas Lte. Governor, responding to Dr. Anthony Fauci’s testimony before a Senate committee about the U.S. response to the coronavirus outbreak.

Patrick went on to say, “The only thing I’m skipping over is listening to him.  He has been wrong every time, on every issue.  I don’t need his advice anymore.  We’ll listen to a lot of science, we’ll listen to a lot of doctors, and [Gov. Greg Abbott (R)], myself and other state leaders will make the decision.  No thank you, Dr. Fauci.”

As we often say in Texas, ‘Bless his heart.’  Translation: ‘Dumb ass!’  It’s simply impossible to protect stupid people from themselves.  To non-Texans, please don’t consider Patrick typical of everyone here in the Lone Star state; the vast majority of us are considerably more intelligent than the moronic clowns who finagle their way into leadership positions.

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Coloring In

We’ve heard it so many times before.  History has always been written by the victors.  It’s a sad reality, yet very true.  It means that much of the history of Africa and the Western Hemisphere has been recounted with a decidedly European viewpoint.  As someone of mixed European and Indigenous American extraction, I always felt conflicted about this disparity.  While trying to find information about Native American Texans in an encyclopedia during my grade school years, for example, I noticed that references to pre-Columbian peoples were treated dismissively.  It wasn’t just archaic history in standard academic circles.  It was irrelevant.  Even mention of the state’s Spanish colonizers – the first permanent European settlers – was dubbed “pre-history.”  It seemed Texas history didn’t actually begin until the likes of Stephen F. Austin and Sam Houston arrived.  And it didn’t matter that these men weren’t even born and raised in the state.

Only within the past half-century has the truth about various indigenous societies been revealed with advances in archaeological research and detailed forensic analysis.  Lidar, for example, has taken the concept of neon lighting from the banal presence of liquor store signs to the jungles of Central America where long-abandoned Mayan structures remain shrouded by the foliage.  As a devotee of Archeology magazine, I’m constantly amazed by discoveries of ancient settlements across the globe.  Areas once thought to be occupied by nomadic hunter-gatherer types at best are revealing the ghosts of thriving population centers.

Yes, history has always been dictated and composed by those who somehow managed to overcome the locals – usually through the casualties of disease and pestilence or the sanguineous nature of war and violence.  But the blood of history’s victims seeps into the ground and eventually fertilizes the crops that feed the newly-minted empires.  That blood eventually metabolizes into the truth of what really happened – albeit many centuries or millennia later.  Still at that point, it can no longer be ignored.

Here in the U.S. we’re now seeing statues and other emblems of the American Civil War come down by government decree.  Supporters of that conflict have maintained its genesis was the battle for states’ rights, while truth-tellers insist it was a battle over slavery.  They’re both correct, in some ways.  It was a battle over the right of some states to keep an entire race of people enslaved.  I certainly feel removal of these statues is appropriate.  Those who fought for the Confederacy wanted to rip the nation in half over that slavery issue and therefore, should not be venerated as military heroes.  They’re traitors.

The debate has now shifted to renaming many U.S. military bases.  In my native Texas, one military base is named after John Bell Hood, a Confederate general who – like so many other Texas “heroes” – wasn’t even born and raised in the state.  Hood also wasn’t an especially adept military commander; having lost a number of individual conflicts.  And yet, a military base is named after this treasonous fool?

The U.S. Pentagon has expressed some willingness to rename military bases that reference those ill-fated Civil War characters.  Naturally, it’s upset many White southerners who annually reenact various Civil War conflicts; not realizing how ridiculous they look in their antebellum garb.  I can’t help but laugh at them.  They’ve been fighting the war for over 150 years and STILL haven’t won!

In his usual brusque and toddler-esque manner, President Trump announced last month he would veto a USD 740 billion defense bill if it included an amendment that would rename many of those military bases.  He declared, “These Monumental and very Powerful Bases have become part of a Great American Heritage, and a history of Winning, Victory, and Freedom.”

Remember, the Confederacy lost that war.  A million reenactments won’t change that reality.

Some 30 years ago my father discovered that Spain’s Queen Isabella (who funded Christopher Columbus’ voyage) was an ancestor of his mother.  According to documentation my father found, Isabella learned of the atrocities Spain’s military officials were committing against the indigenous peoples of the “New World” and ordered them to stop.  That’s one reason why Latin America has a stronger connection to its native peoples than the United States and even Canada.

It should be worth noting that, while Italians celebrate Columbus as a national hero, he probably wasn’t even a native son.  For centuries he was considered a Genoese sailor with grand visions of finding a westward route to India and subsequently gain an edge in the then-contentious spice trade.  Contemporary research, however, has declared he was actually the son of Polish King Władysław III; often dubbed the twelve-toed king because allegedly had 6 toes on each foot.  And I have to emphasize that Columbus couldn’t get Italian leaders to finance his ventures, so he turned to Spain.  In the 15th century C.E., Italy was actually a conglomeration of city-states.

In one of my earliest essays on this blog, I lamented the term “redskin”; a derogatory moniker for Native Americans that has figured prominently into the names of many sports teams, from grade school to professional.  Just this week the Washington Redskins football team announced what many previously considered unthinkable: they might change their name.  Team owner Daniel Snyder conceded he’s bowing to pressure from its largest corporate sponsors (big money always has the loudest voice in the corporate world), as well a growing cacophony of socially-conscious voices demanding change.  Snyder said the team has begun a “review” of both the name and the team’s mascot.  Detractors, of course, moan this is political correctness at its worst.  But, just like Civil War reenactors still haven’t won, Eurocentrics still won’t admit they didn’t obliterate North America’s indigenous populations.

Change on such a grand scale is always slow and painful.  But, as with time itself, change will happen; it can’t be stopped.

We can never correct or fix what happened in the past.  Nothing can ever atone for the loss of millions of people and the destruction of the societies they built.  But we can acknowledge the truth that is buried.  It’s not rewriting history; it’s writing the actual history that remained entombed in that bloodied soil for so long.  It’s adding the needed and long-absent color to reality.

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Most Unhinged Moment of the Week – May 15, 2020

“Texas’ Governor says you don’t need (expletive)!”

 – An unidentified man at a 99 Cent Only store in San Antonio, Texas, after an employee told him to wear a mask as part of company policy to prevent spread of COVID-19.

The belligerent, maskless man had charged at other customers who were recording him and even shouted at one, “Don’t record me!  That’s an invasion of my personal privacy!”

I have to make three points regarding this particular incident.  For one thing, while Texas Governor Greg Abbott hasn’t made it mandatory for people wear masks in public, he has encouraged the practice.  Also, when someone is in public – angry or not – they should have no expectation of privacy.  Finally, if you’ve ever been to a 99 Cent Only store, you should understand that the COVID-19 virus is the least potential health hazard you’ll face.

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Worst Quote of the Week – April 24, 2020

“What I said when I was with you that night is there are more important things than living.  And that’s saving this country for my children and my grandchildren and saving this country for all of us.  I don’t want to die, nobody wants to die.  But man, we’ve got to take some risks and get back in the game and get this country back up and running.”

Republican Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, on jump-starting the economy in Texas and other states to stave off a recession.

Patrick is essentially trying to walk back a comment he’d made last month that he’d rather perish from the new coronavirus than see instability in the state’s economic system.

Too late.

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COVID-19 Safe Distance Measures by State

Both the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health have recommended individuals remain at least 6 feet (1.8 meters) from one another to help prevent the spread of the COVID-19 virus.  The minimum distance is based on the average trajectory of nasal droplets once expelled from the nose, mouth, or whatever infected orifice a person might have.  (If this person can expel nasal droplets from more openings than their mouth and nose, I suggest they be put to death.  They will be a danger to humanity, no matter what contagion is in the air.)

This “social distancing” has caused some consternation among many people.  For introverts, however, it’s called life as we know it.  But, in order to help people understand exactly what the 6-foot minimum is, each state has comprised analogies for their particular citizenry.

Alabama – 2 outhouses

Alaska – 12 salmon or 2 Alaskan King Crab

Arizona – 5 Native American bead necklaces or a blueprint for Donald Trump’s “Wall”

Arkansas – 5 lists of the state’s 3 family trees

California – 1 surfboard or a chest of old Kim Kardashian press-on fingernails

Colorado – 1 miniature horse

Connecticut – 25 recordings of Donald Trump trying to pronounce Connecticut

Delaware – 6 bags of used Joe Biden hair pieces

Florida – 1 adult alligator or 4 motorized wheelchairs

Georgia – 10 DVD sets of “Gone with the Wind”

Hawaii – 5 floral lei wreaths or 1 lost mainland tourist

Idaho – 1 “No Californians Allowed” sign

Illinois – 5 Chicago pizzas (or 10 boxes of .32 caliber bullets if you’re actually in Chicago)

Indiana – 10 lists of the top 10 names indigenous peoples had, before some drunk White people arrived and screwed up everything

Iowa – 10 late-model voting machines

Kansas – 3 sheaths of whole-grain wheat

Kentucky – 5 cases of moonshine

Louisiana – 10 Mardi Grass beads (preferably neon) or 5 indictments of state governors

Maine – 1 lobster (unboiled)

Maryland – 10-15 bricks from a now-dismantled wall built around Washington, D.C.

Massachusetts – 5 cases of Irish whiskey

Michigan – 10 cases of German beer or 1 illegal Canadian immigrant (in Detroit, use anything that’s bullet-proof)

Minnesota – 5 maps of the 10,000+ lakes in the state (complete with detailed explanations why no one has made a concerted attempt to count the exact number)

Mississippi – 50 audio recordings of school children trying spell Mississippi

Missouri – 50 video recordings of school children misspelling Mississippi as Missouri

Montana – 3 taxidermy moose heads

Nebraska – 1 bovine calf or a University of Nebraska cheerleader (whichever is closest and not sleeping at the moment)

Nevada – 500 poker chips or 1 topless showgirl

New Hampshire – 1 10’x 6’ slab of granite or 5 “We Are NOT Vermont!” signs

New México – 1 saguaro cactus frond (unshaven)

New York – 1 life-size inflatable Donald Trump doll, 5 yamakas, or 10 Brooklyn-made calzones

North Carolina – 5 vintage “Missing: Roanoke – Have You Seen Us?” flyers

North Dakota – 25 copies of “Why God Created North Dakota (Because Minnesota Was Too Cold)”

Ohio – 30 unpublished “Best Reasons to Visit Cleveland” pamphlets

Oklahoma – 15 editions of the latest Indian casino directory (also still accepting donations for the “Back to Europe” movement)

Oregon – Any still-living Grateful Dead fan

Pennsylvania – 25 king-size Hershey bars

Rhode Island – Rhode Island

South Carolina – 10 editions of “25 Reasons We Keep Fighting the Civil War and Still Haven’t Won”, © 1964

South Dakota – 3 cases of malt liquor beer or 1 “White People Don’t Let the Sun Set on You!” sign

Tennessee – 1 statue of Elvis Presley, Patsy Cline, or Tammy Wynette

Texas – 1 rifle and a bottle of tequila (preferably José Cuervo)

Utah – 10 Mormon bibles or 25 unused “Romney 2012” posters

Vermont – 10 “Sanders 2020” banners (previously 5 cases of maple syrup) or 5 “We Are NOT New Hampshire!” signs

Virginia – 5 replicas of Cutty Sark clipper ships or 10 bottles of Cutty Sark whiskey

Washington – 5 buckets of rainwater or 200 bongs

West Virginia – 25 “There Is NO East Virginia” bumper stickers

Wisconsin – 5 crates of Gouda cheese

Wyoming – 1 life-size replica of a buffalo (NO live buffaloes permitted, as they’ll kick your ass)

“Don’t move any closer, bitch!”

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Tweet of the Week – March 20, 2020

“This might be easy for you, Senator, but you’re not a server losing wages, a single mom losing her job to stay home with her kids, or one of 5 million Texans without insurance.  I’m glad you’re ending your long weekend and hope you’ll pass the legislation they need QUICKLY.”

M.J. Hegar, former U.S. Air Force pilot, Afghanistan War veteran, and Texas Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate, in response to a tweet by Sen. John Cornyn.

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