Good Morning
Oh God, help us
To be generous in our opinions of others,
To be considerate of all we meet,
To be patient with those with whom we work,
To be faithful to every trust,
To be courageous in the face of danger,
To be humble in all our living,
To be prayerful every hour of the day,
To be joyous in all life’s experiences,
And to be dependent upon me,
For strength in facing life’s uncertainties.
Filed under News
Everybody has that one (maybe two or more) quirky relative who defies explanation. In my family’s case, that’s actually more of a rule. But when my little sister, Mandy, would say she’d see people, we honestly didn’t know what to say. No one likes to admit there’s mental illness in the family, right? I mean…as a kid, everyone has imaginary friends. But Mandy said she didn’t just have imaginary friends; she saw people. It was cute – until she was a teenager.
Then it got scary. ‘What’s wrong with Mandy?’ was a common question at family gatherings. We couldn’t say; no one seemed to know…what was wrong with Mandy.
“We’re cursed,” Mandy told me; she was about twelve. “Our family is cursed.”
“Yeah, we are,” I remember telling her that first time; thinking about the family events where someone got shit-faced drunk and started fighting.
“I’m serious!”
I tried to be understanding. But when someone says your family is cursed – especially if it’s a relative who has a reputation for saying shit like that – how do you respond?
I’m the oldest of the brood, and Mandy is the youngest; four boys and two girls. She was my baby; tiny even for my 12-year-old arms, when she was born. I helped to raise her, along with my brothers. Our parents were primary commanders, but I was second in charge. My brothers were tough to raise – as you would expect with boys. But Mandy turned out to be even more of a handful!
I don’t know what it was about her, but she could be so difficult. My mother always said it was because we girls tend to cause drama. Daddy would just sigh, as if saying, ‘Tell me about it,’ yet not wanting to be too honest.
I really can’t remember the first time Mandy said she saw someone who wasn’t there…in her bedroom. She pointed to her dolls. “Over there,” she told me.
But it was after our maternal grandmother, Martina, died. “Mamatina” – the witch of West Texas. Damn, that bitch was mean! And nasty. The droplets of blood from the garage into her kitchen said enough.
“You need to get out of here when you graduate,” my Aunt Nicoletta told me. I was 18 and had just attended my senior prom with a boy who said he felt nauseous every time he stepped into our house.
“That part of the family is too strange,” Nicoletta muttered. She was an in-law to my mother’s side. “Everybody knows that. They just won’t say it.”
I started saying it to myself before I graduated high school. Only a few other people would say it out loud.
Especially after meeting Mandy. “Our family is cursed!” she kept saying. I don’t know how many times I heard that from her.
My father would just quietly bob his head up and down. Marrying into my mother’s family was probably like an initiation into a biker gang. He had to endure a lot of misery and, once in, couldn’t escape. If anything, though, he injected a semblance of normalcy into the chaos. I’m certain he was glad when Mamatina died. Without making a sound, he let out a massive breath. I could hear it through the moaning at Mamatina’s funeral. Even the priest looked relieved. In this instance, Mexican mysticism didn’t blend well with Roman Catholic purity.
What would Jesus do?! Hell, what would Mother Mary do?!
I was certain Mamatina’s death would solve a lot of problems. And it did – for the most part. I had just earned my bachelor’s, and I noticed the air in the house had lightened.
Then, as I approached 30 and still not married, Mandy shocked me. “I’m pregnant.”
This had to be a joke, I told myself. But I uttered the eternal question: “What?”
“Yes.”
Raymond was a boy she knew from high school. He wasn’t weird…just plain and ordinary.
“He’s the perfect one,” Mandy said, “the perfect father.”
I then said the next best thing, “Um…okay.” I never knew what perfect was supposed to mean.
Raymond was present for the birth and even named the baby – Rose. It seemed ideal – and appropriate: a sweet-smelling blossom with thorns and a blood red pallor.
Mandy’s fingers looked white the moment she gripped the rails of the crib. Rose was about two months old. “We’re cursed,” I heard her mumble.
I sighed – not too heavy – my head bobbing slightly. “Okay.”
But it wasn’t…okay.
Mandy kept saying it – more than she ever had. “We’re cursed.” Our family was cursed.
Ordinary Raymond just ignored her, as he swaddled Rose in his skinny arms. Rose never cried, just sort of grunted. When she seemed distressed, Raymond was the only person who could calm her down. He’d pull off his shirt and press her tiny head against his chest; the left side – where she could hear his heartbeat.
Then came that one Saturday afternoon. I took some groceries over to the house for Mandy and Rose. Raymond was at work, and no one else was there.
Mandy looked disheveled, but was notably calm. I guess she’d been up all night.
That word – ‘cursed’ – kept running through my mind.
What does that mean?
“You know,” said Mandy.
Well…I did. In some ways, I understood what she meant.
Cursed…that one word hung over me like a chronic itch in the middle of my back, while wearing a heavy winter coat and driving.
That baby…Rose.
Mandy’s child.
Daddy’s head bobbed up and down as he thumbed through the TV channels.
Finally…I looked at Mandy. “What curse?” After all these years, I had never thought to ask her.
Her eyes flinched.
Rose fell silent.
“You know,” Mandy whimpered.
The air grew heavy. I mean…REALLY HEAVY.
Cursed.
Please! I entered Rose’s room and approached the crib. She looked…well, red.
Heavy air.
I turned back to the doorway and stepped into the hall.
Cursed?
What?!
Heavy air.
Really.
Heavy.
Air.
I turned around…looked at the crib.
Rose was quiet…still.
And – I saw someone.
Something sharp and cold plowed up into my spine. That itch.
I felt dizzy.
There…standing beside the crib…someone.
Some…thing.
Cursed.
A curse.
Someone…some…thing…a curse.
Something.
Smiled…it smiled…grinned…at me.
Mine.
What?
Mine.
I looked at Rose.
Mine…she’s mine.
Her?
Rose remained still.
It grinned…the someone…something…standing beside the crib.
It grinned again.
Her…this child…mine.
“I told you,” Mandy said, standing at the doorway.
That…something…blood red skin.
Heavy air…really…heavy.
I could hear Raymond’s heart beating.
And Daddy nodded.
The something grinned…mine. Its bony fingers gripped the crib railing. Blood-red skin. Mine.
Rose was completely motionless.
This child…the something said. Mine.
Filed under Wolf Tales
Once again, the Easter bunny – like politicians and rap singers – are proving to be as scary, if not scarier than anything from Halloween. I still can’t figure out who in their right mind would accept a job in a mall dressed as a gigantic rabbit. Then again, I guess they’re not in their right mind in the first place – like politicians and rap singers – and therein lies the conundrum. And would someone please try to explain how Jesus Christ correlates to a chocolate herbivore that can lay eggs!
Top image: “Notebook” by Eugenia Rodgers
Filed under Curiosities
Several years ago actress turned animal rights activist Brigitte Bardot found herself in legal trouble with French authorities. The former screen siren openly condemned the Islamic practice of animal slaughter during the Aid al-Kabir holiday. She’d been in such a predicament before – several times. French law doesn’t actually forbid disparaging religious ideology, but it looks down sharply upon it, as it can be considered slander or worse, a conduit to hate-obsessed violence.
It’s surprising, considering France fought hard against Nazi occupation during World War II. One tenet of Nazism is that anyone who speaks out against the government is deemed a traitor. But, short of slander or threats of violence, criticism of governing bodies and religion is free speech. Imprisoning anyone, or even threatening to levy a monetary penalty for such views, runs counter to that.
All of it strikes hard for me – and other writers and artists – here in the U.S., as we witness ongoing assaults on various forms of free speech. Book bans remain a primary source of concern. And with Republicans in charge of the White House and both houses of Congress, the attacks continue. Social extremists have always been opposed to any viewpoint that doesn’t conform to their standards – whether it’s coming from the left or the right. The voices of moderates seem to get lost in the chaos.
Recently the U.S. government – under pressure from the Trump administration – compiled and presented a list of words that are forbidden on federal web sites and other documentation. They include such terms as “biologically male”, “clean energy”, “inequality”, and “woman”. This is real! I have a tendency towards creating outrageous stories, but I’m not intoxicated or deranged. Well…not yet.
Regardless, the list definitely isn’t a manifestation of liberal outrage at the most right-wing president in decades. It’s a result of years of conservative ideology designed to put people and institutions in categories and re-enshrine bigotry and hatred into the American conscience. The leftward shift in culture and politics in the U.S. beginning in the late 1950s eventually met the hostility of Reaganesque antipathy towards anything viewed as different or the other. The Trump era is the culmination of it all.
Those in formerly marginalized groups who also voted for Trump and his ilk shouldn’t be surprised – but they are. For example, Cuban-Americans voted overwhelmingly for Trump, as they often have for the Republican Party. As Cuba has been under communist rule since 1959, those fleeing the country have been given special protection from American law. The same luxury hasn’t been granted to people fleeing war and violence in other Latin American nations, such as El Salvador and Guatemala. However, the Trump Administration’s efforts to reform immigration law have started to impact thousands of Cuban immigrants. Now, Cuban-Americans have the audacity to be horrified at the betrayal. Remember the adage: be careful what you wish for; you might just get it.
We also need to recall the words of Martin Niemöller:
“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.”
Trump and his cronies appear to be going after anyone who doesn’t fit the narrow definition of who he is. His hypocrisy is glaring. He never outwardly espoused any religious fervor until he first ran for president, but now says Christian ideology should be taught in schools. If he believes in true biblical content, then consider the Christian Bible’s 7th commandment: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14.
There are others.
“I am a stranger and an alien residing among you; give me property among you for a burying place, so that I may bury my dead out of my sight.” Genesis 23:4
“The sinless one among you, go first. Throw the stone.” John 8:6-11
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
I’m sure this would be too much for him to handle. It’s too much even for some devout Christians to handle!
Whatever words someone wants to use, they shouldn’t be frightened into compliance. Russia, Iran and North Korea do that. No truly democratic society wants to echo such autocratic leadership.
Filed under Essays
Once again my home state of Texas has proven that it’s run by a pack of extremist right-wing morons. In the latest attack on individual rights from the gang that claims to cherish personal freedom, State Attorney General Ken Paxton has demanded that a woman named Kate Cox must go through with her current pregnancy – a pregnancy her own doctor has already said could be detrimental to her health. The fetus already has a confirmed disorder, and proceeding with the pregnancy could render Cox infertile. More frightening, though, is that it could kill her. She’s been to a local emergency room more than once over the past several weeks. Now she’s left the state to have the abortion her doctor recommended. Her whereabouts remain unknown – and for good reason.
When they first established these medieval abortion laws over a year ago, the self-righteous Paxton and Texas Governor Greg Abbott declared they would prosecute both any woman who had an abortion that didn’t meet their limited approval guidelines and anyone who aided in the procedure. That means anyone who so much as gave a ride to a woman to an abortion clinic or funded the procedure could be fined imprisoned. Yes! I’m not making up this shit! Someone please remind me what century we’re in right now.
Cox was so desperate she filed an appeal to the Texas State Supreme Court. But, of course, that all-Republican body denied her request. Once again, the woman’s life was in danger. Her doctor said as much! But these sanctimonious politicians have announced clearly they think they know better. They fully believe their comprehension of the law transfers to the medical arena.
I honestly feel they’re suffering from perception delusion – a genuine psychological disorder in which an individual believes their perception of the world around them is real and authentic; that they – and only they – understand what’s going on and everyone else is unaware of the truth. It’s akin to schizophrenia.
Let me put it in the more common vernacular: they’re fucked up.
It’s absolutely appalling these people think they know better about someone’s health and medical condition than that individual’s physician. Many medical practitioners are already leaving the state of Texas because of the abortion issue. Not just abortion providers! Many obstetricians and gynecologists, as well as those in other disciplines, don’t want to take the chance their medical expertise will be questioned and vilified.
Quite frankly, if I had the money, I would have funded both Cox’s voyage out of Texas and her procedure. I would have even funded her legal defense should the state come after her, as if she was a drug trafficker – which I’m sure they will!
In the 1960s, a group of women calling themselves the “The Jane Collective” established an underground network of abortion providers in the U.S. Operating much like the “Underground Railroad” of the 19th century, the “Janes” worked with known abortionists throughout the nation to help women in the midst of distressed pregnancies. In the spring of 1969, I was 5 years old, and my parents introduced me to a young woman named Carla*. I remember her as a petite, strawberry blonde who told me, at one point, that – if she ever had a little boy – she hoped he’d be like me. She stayed with us for a couple of days before she inexplicable (to me) disappeared. We lived in a two-bedroom apartment above a garage behind a house owned by my father’s older sister and her husband. It was where I grew up, until we moved to suburban Dallas at the end of 1972. I was about 12 or 13 when I remembered Carla and asked my mother about her. Who was she and why was she there? My mother – who never held back the truth – told me everything. Carla was about 18 and she was pregnant – and she didn’t want her parents to know. One of my mother’s female colleagues was part of the “Jane” group, and my very progressive mother – a woman who once slapped a Roman Catholic nun who had slapped her younger brother and told a priest she would NOT have a bunch of children per the Church’s directive – agreed to help. She had to talk my father into it. Carla stayed with us for a couple of days before she was spirited away. We never saw her again and never knew what became of her.
Around the turn of the century, when I was in my 30s, I was having lunch with my parents one Sunday afternoon, when the subject of abortion arose. I brought up Carla again. This time my father was in the room and substantiated my mother’s recounting of the events that spring so long ago. They both wondered what had happened to Carla, and so did I. I can only hope she was able to get her life in order and go on to have the family she might have wanted.
No one has the right to dictate what someone does with their own body and health. That’s why I’m so opposed to male circumcision, for example, which is a similar issue. Everyone has the right to the dignity of determining their own fate in life. Neither politics nor religion should ever interfere with that.
*Name changed.
Filed under Essays
“The real reason Easter is on a different day each year is because sometimes it’s difficult to remember which lie you told.”
Filed under News
“Those who play with fire will perish by it.”
Chinese President Xi Jinping, to President Joe Biden, regarding Taiwan’s independence
The comment comes after news that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi plans to visit Taiwan soon.
“This is why we have always fought: We are willing to mix with one another, but we do not want to become peoples of mixed race.”
Hungarian President Viktor Orbán, who is scheduled to speak in Dallas next week at the Conservative Political Action Conference, urging his fellow Europeans not to marry non-White immigrants
Orbán also appeared to make light of the Nazi Holocaust while discussing plans to reduce natural-gas demand in Europe: “I do not see how it will be enforced – although, as I understand it, the past shows us German know-how on that.”
“You degenerate pagans and atheists and non-believers went way too far with the COVID nonsense, with shutting down our churches and forcing our kids to be masked, and forcing us to get vaccinated with some mystery goop in order to keep our jobs and provide for our families. You pushed us too far, and now we’re going to take dominion of this country, of our culture, of news, of entertainment, of technology, of education, of everything for the glory of Jesus Christ, our king. It’s just that simple.”
Andrew Torba, a far-right Christian nationalist preacher, in a speech supporting fellow right-wing nationalist Doug Mastriano
“Nobody has gotten to the bottom of 09/11 unfortunately, and they should have.”
Former President Donald Trump, as his country club prepare to host several officials from Saudi Arabia for a golf tournament
Trump’s Bedminster Club is just across the Hudson River from Manhattan. Several families of 9/11 victims have expressed outrage over the event. Of the nineteen 9/11 hijackers, 15 were from Saudi Arabia.
Filed under News
“There’s nothing more dangerous than professed Christians who have no real interest in Jesus. They’re rather easy to spot if you’re paying attention. They’re usually the ones most loudly claiming things like religious liberty while methodically swallowing up the personal freedoms and elemental rights of other people. They incessantly broadcast their devotion of God on their bumpers and bellies, while living antithetically to the compassionate heart of Jesus actually found in the Scriptures.”
John Pavlovitz, “Actual Followers of Jesus Don’t Want Conservatives’ Compulsory Christianity”
“It is clear that their attempts to roll back the clock on contraception is again another plank on their extreme agenda for American women.”
Rep. Nancy Pelosi, after the House of Representatives passed the Right to Contraception Act
The bill codifies the right to birth control amid concerns the U.S. Supreme Court may repeal the right to contraception following the Dobbs decision that reversed the right to abortion.
It’s worth noting 195 Republican members of the House voted against the act.
Filed under News
“Fight for the things you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”
Abortion-rights and anti-abortion demonstrators gather outside of the Supreme Court in Washington, Friday, June 24, 2022. The Supreme Court has ended constitutional protections for abortion that had been in place nearly 50 years, a decision by its conservative majority to overturn the court’s landmark abortion cases. (AP Photo/Gemunu Amarasinghe)
It has been one dream of conservatives for decades: overturning Roe vs. Wade. The landmark 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision guaranteed women the right to abortion, in accordance with the 9th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution. Now that goal has been achieved: earlier today, June 24, the Court has overturned Roe; thus gutting nearly a half century of reproductive freedom for women in the U.S.
It’s a stunning move and it’s left abortion supporters shell-shocked. It doesn’t seem to matter that the majority of Americans support abortion to some extent. Six justices on the Supreme Court have decided they don’t like the concept of abortion, so no woman should have access to it and no one should help a woman burdened with a crisis pregnancy. It is the first time in U.S. history that a constitutional right has been granted and then rescinded.
Social and religious conservatives are ecstatic about this decision. Although the Roe decision startled many people in 1973, the ruling didn’t really become an issue until the 1980s; when the evangelical Christian movement started to make its intrusive presence known. They saw the election of Ronald Reagan as assurance that abortion would be outlawed in the U.S.
At least 26 states were ready to outlaw abortion under most circumstances, should Roe be overturned. Now that it has, they are moving towards the annihilation. Last year the legislature in my home state of Texas passed the so-called “Heartbeat Act”, which bans abortion after 6 weeks (before many women know they’re pregnant) and only allows it in cases where the mother’s life is endangered. That means rape and incest victims will be forced to carry their pregnancies to term. Any woman (or girl) who obtains an abortion and/or anyone who assists in that procedure could face up to $10,000 in statutory damages and face prison time. Noticeably it doesn’t say anything about prosecuting men who rape women or girls.
The overturning of Roe perhaps will be one of Donald Trump’s greatest legacies, aside from his dismal handling of the COVID-19 pandemic and the violent insurrection at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021. But it won’t so much be his legacy as it will be that of right-wing extremists – the people who loudly proclaim to cherish personal liberty and freedom, but in practice, mean it only for themselves. Everyone else’s personal liberty – that is, people who aren’t exactly like them – is somehow subjective.
Abortion opponents are now presenting – as they always have – what they consider viable solutions to the dilemma of unplanned and unwanted pregnancies; quick fixes that are ridiculously quaint and utopian. They recommend creating a society where every child comes into the world loved and respected; that women always have a safe and effective way to carry out their undesired pregnancies. It’s tantamount to beauty pageant contestants expressing their wish for the blind to see and the lame to walk. It’s wonderfully idealistic, yet extraordinarily delusional. Such answers to some of life’s most complex issues are typical of the conservative mindset: simple and unencumbered. That’s why I always say my brain is too big to be conservative.
In the 49 years since Roe was passed, it’s estimated that some 60 million abortions have taken place in the United States. Abortion adversaries groan that it means some 60 million children never got a chance to grow up and have fulfilling lives. But millions of children have come into the world under the best of circumstances and have never lived fulfilling lives. The future is always uncertain, and occasionally things go awry in families.
It’s also possible that those estimated 60 million children could have been subjected to abuse and neglect. Children who come into the world unwanted often end up being unloved. I have to wonder if abortion opponents are going to dish out any additional cash to help support all those children. It’s easy for them to lounge in their ivory towers – the way religious leaders often do – and bestow well wishes upon troubled souls. Good intentions don’t pay diaper and formula bills; they don’t provide housing and education; they don’t deal with the daily angst of raising children. They’re glossy words that lack substance, unless solid and concrete action is taken to make those lives better.
Liberals and moderates are already concerned that other Supreme Court decisions are at risk, such as Griswold and Lawrence. Even Brown and Loving may come under similar attack. As part of his decision to overturn Roe, Associate Justice Clarence Thomas wrote, “In future cases, we should reconsider all of this Court’s substantive due process precedents, including Griswold, Lawrence, and Obergefell,” referring to decisions on contraception, sodomy and same-sex marriage respectively.
Remember, the original Roe decision developed under the auspices of the right to privacy and equal protection under the law. Those are essential and undeniable features of a truly democratic society. Stripping any particular group of basic human rights isn’t a sign of a moral culture, as many social conservatives would have us believe. It’s more emblematic of a totalitarian world; a universe where a handful of people have blessed themselves with the power to decide what is and what is not appropriate for everyone else.
If abortion opponents think this Dobbs decision will end abortion in the United States once and forever, they are mistaken. After the initial shock has worn off (which is already happening), people will begin to fight back and find ways around it. Whether right-wing extremists like it or not, abortion will happen. There will always be women who find themselves in very difficult situations and feel they must end a pregnancy. It’s been happening for centuries and it will continue happening, even though a band of self-righteous elitists demand otherwise.
Just wait for it. They’ve awoken a giant.
Filed under Essays
“Look, maybe if we heard more prayers from leaders of this country instead of taking God’s name in vain, we wouldn’t have the mass killings like we didn’t have before prayer was eliminated from school.”
Rep. Louie Gohmert, about the Uvalde massacre
“If I lost one of my children I’d be pretty devastated, especially in a way that is so senseless and seemingly has no purpose. I think … I would just have to say, if I had the opportunity to talk to the people I’d have to say, look, there’s always a plan. I believe God always has a plan. Life is short no matter what it is. And certainly, we’re not going to make sense of, you know, a young child being shot and killed way before their life expectancy.”
Ken Paxton, Texas Attorney General, to radio host Trey Graham, about the Uvalde massacre
Filed under News
Chief Writing Wolf 